Under the Open Sky

Chapter Seventeen

Back at the ranch everyone scattered to dress for bed. It was nearly three in the morning but Amanda knew she couldn’t sleep, not yet. She removed the screen from her window, wrapped in a blanket and seated herself on the roof, arms around her knees. The mountains were beautiful tonight. The moon washed over them bathing them in liquid silver and kissing snow topped peaks to make them glitter like jewels. She never tired of looking at the mountains. She heard the screen door open below and heard her father’s familiar foot fall on the porch below. Obviously his thoughts were troubled too. The door opened again, lighter footfalls crossing the porch.

“You okay, Sterling?” Naomi’s voice carried through the air.

“I don’t know how to help her, Naomi. All her life I’ve been fixing things for her. Her dolls; bicycles but this I can’t fix. I don’t know what to do,” her father’s voice broke and sobs racked his body.

Amanda wiped at her own tears. She had seen her father’s eyes mist over memories of her mother but in all her life the only other time she had actually seen or heard him cry was after Trent’s accident. Amanda stood, tiptoed back into the house and closed her window behind her. She crossed the hall to the bathroom where she turned the water on to fill a paper cup and instead leaned over the sink to cry.

“Mandy?” her brother came to the door way and peered inside. “You okay?”

Amanda looked up to find him watching her, his eyes dark with concern. Behind him, Cade watched as well. “No,” she finally answered, “I’m not. My big strong Daddy is crying and it’s my fault,” she sobbed.

“Mandy, this is not your fault,” her brother moved to wrap his arms around her. Amanda buried her face against his chest and cried. Once her tears finally subsided, she straightened and reached for tissue to dry her eyes and got the glass of water she had originally come in for.

“Sorry,” she muttered to her brother.

“You’ve had a rough night,” he empathized.

“Thanks for your support, Trent,” Amanda was starting to bring her emotions back under control.

“What are big brothers for?” Trent asked as he hugged her and kissed the top of her head. Amanda emptied her cup, tossed it into the trash and turned to leave the bathroom. Cade straightened to move out of her way. Amanda rose onto her toes to hug him; his arms came around her and his hands lightly rubbed her back.

“Thank you, Cade. For everything,” she expressed her gratitude.

“You need me, you call,” he assured her. Amanda lingered as long as she dared, drinking in his smell and the feel of his strong arms before releasing him and continuing to her room.

“Goodnight,” she called as reached her room and turned to close the door.

“Night, Mandy.”

“Night, Manny,” the guys chorused in return.

Amanda climbed into her bed and hugged her extra pillow close. She closed her eyes and focused on the feel of being in Cade’s arms rather than the horror of the rest of the night; it was to these happy thoughts that she finally drifted off to sleep.

Amanda woke some time later to sobbing, only to realize it was her own. She had been reliving the night in her dreams, only she couldn’t escape. Amanda tossed aside her covers and reached for a tissue to find the box empty. She tried to sniff back her tears; there were more tissues in the bathroom. She opened her door and stepped into the hallway to stop short.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked of Cade. He was leaning against the wall between her room and her brother’s.

“Listening to you cry and worrying about you. I couldn’t decide whether to wake your brother, to check on you, or what,” he admitted.

“Oh,” Amanda wrapped her arms around herself. “I had a nightmare.”

“I can imagine,” he looked grim as he surveyed her in the dim glow of the nightlight her aunt insisted remain burning in the hallway. “You alright, sweetheart? I can’t even imagine how scared you must have been.”

“I was scared and angry and hurt and I still am I guess,” she admitted. “But it’s over now.” It was what she kept telling herself; it was over. All except the memories. The memory of him touching and kissing her and the way her skin had crawled in terror, Amanda felt her tears rising again and stepped closer to Cade to lay her head against his chest. Cade closed his arms around her and let her cry. She was vaguely aware of her brother’s door opening.

“Amanda? Mandy; are you okay? Talk to me, sweetie?” Amanda could hear her brother but she couldn’t respond, she could only cry.

“What happened?” Trent asked of Cade.

“I could hear her crying; I was trying to decide if I should wake you when she stepped into the hallway.”

“You think I should get Naomi?”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s gonna make herself sick crying like that,” Trent fretted. “Mandy, honey, do you want Aunt Naomi?” her brother rubbed her back lightly.

“No!” she finally managed.

“What can I do, Mandy?”

“I was going to get a box of tissue,” it came out on a shuddering breath.

“I’ll get one,” Trent crossed to the bathroom and turned the light on as he reached into the linen closet. He returned, pulled a couple loose from the box and handed them to her. Remaining where she was, Amanda accepted them.

“I should get Dad or Naomi,” Trent turned.

“Please, don’t; I don’t want to upset them all over again,” Amanda requested.

“We can’t stand out here in the hall all night, Mandy. What do you want to do?” Trent was surveying her, his brow drawn.

“I wanna make it all go away,” she cried.

“I wish I could. You want me and Cade to go beat on Chris some more? Would that make you feel better?” Trent offered.

Amanda actually laughed through her tears.

“No, then they would arrest you both and I don’t want that,” Amanda protested.

“I think she just needs to cry it out, she’s been brave all night, Trent,” Cade offered.

“I’ve cried until I should be out of tears,” she protested. “I feel like such a baby!”

“Manny, you had a close call tonight, sweetheart; if it hadn’t shaken you up you wouldn’t be human.”

“I’m still tired of crying.”

“Alright, I imagine Cade would like to get into a dry shirt by now and you really should try to sleep,” Trent informed her.

“I had a nightmare; I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

“You want me to stay until you fall asleep?” Trent offered; Amanda nodded.

He had done that when they were children and she’d had nightmares. He would climb into her bed and read to her until she fell back to sleep. Tonight she felt much as she had then: young and vulnerable. It had always been Trent she turned to after a nightmare, not her father or her aunt and she had never wondered why until now.

“Okay, come on,” her brother patted her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Amanda sniffed an apology to Cade as she stood.

“I didn’t mind. I’m sorry, Manny; I am so sorry you had to go through that,” Cade told her, his eyes so dark they looked almost as blue as midnight. He was hurting for her, she realized; her heart flipped slightly in her chest.

She turned to follow her brother into her room where he was straightening out her twisted covers. She climbed back into her bed and watched as her brother seated himself at her desk. Sliding until he sat in the floor, Cade settled against her closet door.

“Okay, you have two bodyguards, you can go to sleep,” her brother teased.

“I feel much safer,” she assured him with a hint of a smile.

“Here, I’ll read to you,” Trent lifted a book from her desk and opened it to the book mark. “’Karen looked up at Mark, her eyes wide as she waited for his next move. She had waited what felt like a life time for this moment; her eyes closed as his lips pressed against hers.’ Do you really read this stuff?!” Trent demanded as he flipped the book over to frown at the cover. Feeling lighter already, Amanda laughed.

“You have any G rated books in here?” Trent went through her desk.

“It isn’t that kind of book,” Amanda assured her brother. “So they kissed, in a few pages they’ll be a proposal and then another kiss and it’ll leave off somewhere in there. The rest is up to your imagination.”

“Your imagination shouldn’t even be going there.”

“I meant their life together; where’d your mind go?” Amanda demanded. Cade chuckled as her brother glared at her.

“Scarlet Letter, that’s not good bedtime reading,” her brother laid it on the desk top. “Farewell to Arms, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, good grief, Mandy; have you read all these?”

“And then some,” she informed him.

“Here we go, some lighter material, Little Women,” her brother lifted it from the bottom drawer. It was one Amanda’s favorites; she could almost quote it. Amanda relaxed as her brother read, her gaze met Cade’s. He was doing it again, watching her, his expression unreadable, leaving her wishing that she could read his thoughts, especially when he smiled at her. Amanda smiled back; her eyes were growing heavy. When she drifted off this time she dreamt she was Jo Marsh and the professor in her dream looked oddly like Cade.

“So Cade beat the hell out of Chris huh?” a voice penetrated Amanda’s sleep fogged mind. She blinked several times before her eyes focused.

“Hi, Jenny,” Amanda greeted.

“You look rough, Mandy; are you alright?” Jenny, all teasing gone, dropped onto the bed. Amanda pushed into a sitting position before answering.

“I think so. How did you hear about it?” Amanda queried.

“Well, for one thing it’s all over town today. For another, David was in town when it happened and helped pull Cade off of Chris. David called to tell me about it, he thought Cade was going to kill Chris. He wasn’t entirely certain what had set it all off, though. He said Cade kept saying something about Chris ever touching you or coming near you again; then by today the whole story was circulating. A few versions actually and my phone hasn’t quit ringing.”

“Great,” Amanda sighed.

“What happened, Mandy?”

“I thought Chris was bringing me home. I should have been paying attention. I didn’t realize that he had been drinking or that he expected anything from me last night. I feel like a naïve idiot,” Amanda admitted. “He took me to the lake access road instead and,” Amanda hesitated.

“He tried raping you,” Jenny finished the sentence; Amanda nodded.

“After I got away from him he left me there,” Amanda shared and told her the rest of the story.

“Is Cade in trouble?” Jenny worried.

“It hasn’t exactly all been dropped but Officer Myles didn’t expect much of anything to come of it considering all,” Amanda explained.

“Good! I’m tempted to go beat on Chris a while!” Jenny fumed.

“He’s at the jail; I wouldn’t recommend it,” Amanda smiled at her friend.

“Mandy, I am so sorry.”

“Why is everybody but the jerk who did this to me sorry?” Amanda asked in bewilderment.

“Because we all love you and hurt for you,” Jenny answered around tears. “I’m glad Cade beat him up.”

“As long as it doesn’t get Cade in trouble, I can honestly say it doesn’t hurt my feelings any either,” Amanda admitted with an unapologetic smile.

“I guess not,” Jenny laughed. The two fell silent a moment, each lost in their thoughts.

“You gonna sleep all day, pest,” a rap sounded on the door a moment before it opened. “Oh, hi, Jenny,” Trent blinked in surprise. “Naomi has lunch ready.”

“Lunch?” Amanda’s eyes widened as she glanced at the clock.

“Oh, yeah; that’s why your aunt sent me up here,” Jenny remembered her reason for coming.

“Get out of here so I can dress,” Amanda shot at her brother. The moment the door closed, she tossed her covers aside and hopped from the bed; she winced as her feet hit the floor. “I momentarily forgot,” Amanda informed her friend before yanking on presentable clothes and dragging a brush through her hair.

“I guess I’m staying; your aunt invited me to,” Jenny shared as she stood.

“Good, you can help me stay busy today,” Amanda offered her friend a smile.

After eating, Amanda and Jenny spent the day meandering around the ranch. Amanda was trying hard to avoid dwelling on what had happened. She knew that school Monday was going to be difficult.

After Jenny had left, Amanda curled up with a book to read away the evening. After dinner, her father and brother left to make a delivery to a nearby ranch; they left Cade to clean up from their day’s work. Amanda found herself moving toward the barn and didn’t even try to delude herself into believing that she was going for any other reason than to see Cade.

“Hey, Manny; Jenny leave?” Cade glanced at her as she entered.

“Yeah, a little while ago; I’ve been reading.”

“You’re turning some interesting colors,” Cade noted, as he took in her jaw and face. Amanda nodded and seated herself on a hay bale to watch as he worked. “So next year, you’re off to college; you excited?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m finishing school so I can go to school, but yeah; it’s the next step so…” Amanda shrugged.

“What? No big career plans?” Cade returned several tools to their places.

“All I have ever wanted is to be a rancher’s wife,” Amanda shrugged. She knew a lot of her friends couldn’t wait to get out of their little two stop light town but Amanda loved ranch life.

“Nothing wrong with that, but having a degree isn’t a bad idea either.”

“So Daddy is always reminding me,” Amanda smiled. “I’m taking a fast track program in Haddon. Business management; I figure it will be good for a regular job or to the benefit of a rancher’s wife.”

“Good luck, Manny.”

“You still trying to save up for your own ranch?” Amanda watched with great pleasure as he pulled his shirt off and wiped the sweat off his face before lifting a couple of large buckets to relocate them to the storage room.

“Yep. Two more years of college, four years working for your dad and then maybe by then I’ll have a down payment.”

“You’ll make a good rancher,” she assured him.

“I hope to,” Cade came to sit down by her a moment. “I want to prove to myself that I can do it,” Cade nudged at a bug crawling across the floor with the toe of his boot and kept his gaze down. “I want to prove that I can accomplish something, that I can marry and care for a wife and not perpetually be hurting her and my kids; that I have staying power.”

“You’ll do it,” she said confidently.

“My dad abandoned us, Manny; just left us. It killed my mother. His leaving combined with years of abuse killed my mom. I don’t ever want to do that to a woman or my child. After mom died, Dad took custody a whole eight months before the abuse caused the state to step in.”

“How old were you?” Amanda asked.

“Eleven and angry at the world. I made the rounds of all the foster homes, perpetually being kicked out. I got kicked out of another a week before my eighteenth birthday,” Cade shared. “My case worker had me in emergency housing figuring that was the best he could do for a whole week. That’s when your dad offered me a job. He didn’t pull any punches with me, laid it all out on the line. I would finish school. I would keep my nose clean and I would work hard.”

“Your daddy told me that if I would work hard for him and pay attention that I could make something of myself. I think he was the first person to ever say that to me, Manny.”

Amanda felt her heart turn over for him. She couldn’t imagine a world where your dad didn’t love you and care for you. She laid her hand on his shoulder to offer comfort, only to stir awareness of the strength beneath her hand. His skin was hot and smooth and Amanda couldn’t resist the urge to let her hand slide over his back. She looked up to find him watching her, his eyes an intense sapphire.

“You know the problem with you?” she asked as she leaned forward and pulled a knee up to prop her chin on it.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“You are entirely too appealing and tempting.”

Amanda watched him shake his head, prop his elbows on his knees and run his hands through his hair before he spoke.

“You’re going to get me in trouble, Manny,” he predicted.

“I’m not trying to get you in any trouble; I was just speaking my mind.” “Sometimes it’s better to let people wonder what you’re thinking,” he teased as he stood and resumed his work. “So what’s a fast track program?”

“A really insane work load, including through summer, with graduation in as little as twenty-four months. Which is my goal,” Amanda put her foot down and scooted against the wall behind her.

“You mean to tell me that you will be graduating in two years?” Cade was frowning at her.

“Yeah, I wanted to get it done and over with. Why?”

“I just figured you’d be in school another four years,” Cade turned abruptly and grabbed two more buckets. “What are you going to do after graduation?”

“I don’t know; shop for a husband?” Amanda laughed. “I guess I’ll get a job or work for Daddy. His books stay a mess and he’s horrible at keeping track of the ranch records. Naomi is a domestic goddess but no help with the books.”

“You plan on marrying that young?” Cade demanded of her.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll marry when I marry. I just know that I want to be rancher’s wife in the long run. It’s not an easy life, I know that, but I love life on the ranch and the rhythm of each season coming and going and the various chores and responsibilities that come with it.”

“My favorite is probably foaling time,” Cade admitted with a smile.

“I know; mine too. I love all the baby animals.”

“I also like round up.”

“Me too; it’s grueling and exciting all at the same time,” Amanda admitted before yawning.

“You probably should go get some sleep,” Cade recommended to her.

“Nah, I’m fine,” she argued. “What made you decide you wanted to ranch, Cade?”

“Your dad,” he admitted as he closed the storage room door and locked it. “I admire your dad just about more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“He is pretty special,” Amanda smiled.

“I owe him more than I can ever repay,” Cade pulled his shirt back on. “I’m headed to the house, you gonna keep the horses company or you wanna walk back with me?” Cade extended his hand. Amanda took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. She stood looking up at him, wishing could read his thoughts as his blue eyes stared down into hers.

“Don’t look at me like that, Manny.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Your eyes give away your every thought; you know that?” Cade turned and started for the door; Amanda followed him.

“Whereas you give away nothing?” she countered.

Cade turned from closing the door to smile at her.

“I told you it’s better to let people wonder what you’re thinking sometimes,” he teased.

Amanda, feeling slightly irritated at him that he so easily knew what she was thinking when she so seldom knew what was going through his head, crossed her arms.

“Come on, Manny,” Cade extended his hand to her.

Amanda placed her hand in his and allowed him to lace his fingers through hers as they walked back to the house, their pace unhurried. When they reached the house Cade moved upstairs to shower and Amanda settled into the porch swing to enjoy the cool night air. She was still seated, one knee under her chin, and one foot pushing the swing back and forth when her father and brother pulled up. Her brother greeted her before moving on inside.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” her dad greeted as he seated himself beside her. “You look lost in thought,” he noted.

“I was just thinking.”

“Thinking what?” her father asked.

“You said the old cabin is too far from the main house to bother keeping up; you could change that.”

“Oh?” her father looked as though she had caught him off guard.

“The rise between here and the barn would be perfect. Think about it, Daddy, it’s a part of our legacy and Trent and I are growing up. Trent will stay right here on the ranch and who knows, I’m likely to until I marry.”

She watched her father nod.

“You may be on to something,” he agreed as he tugged at his ear. “I’ll have to think on that and maybe look into it.”

“I think you should.”

“What did you do tonight?” her dad queried of her.

“I read for a while and then talked to Cade while he worked. He’s really grateful for the opportunity you’ve given him, Daddy. I don’t think he expected anyone to give him a chance.”

“He’s a hard worker; that’ll get him real far. I think he has the potential to really make his own name if he doesn’t get side tracked,” her father informed her.

Amanda knew his words held a gentle rebuke. She met her dad’s gaze and nodded.

“I think so too,” she agreed.