But the sight of Beth waddling from the kitchen to the office, timecards in hand, tempted him. Tempted him a lot. And when she paused to give him a smile over her shoulder, things definitely perked up.
Unfortunately, she was still all about being friends. Over the months they’d proven themselves good at that, as long he didn’t get too pushy, but he was really starting to hate the neighbors who just happened to be having a baby together routine. He wanted more.
Kevin leaned on the bar so he could keep his voice down. “Tell me something, Mikey. Would you have married Lisa if she didn’t get pregnant?”
Mike did a double-take at the change in subject, since they’d been talking about Red Sox spring training, but a long swallow of beer helped him get over it. He shrugged. “There’s really no way to answer that since she did get knocked up, but I’d like to think so.”
Because, if not, it meant their entire marriage was based on an accidental pregnancy, not love. “Do you ever—”
“No. Whatever it is, no.”
Fair enough. Kevin didn’t think he’d want to go through his entire life second-guessing his marriage, either.
He mentally slapped his forehead. Which was Beth’s whole point. She didn’t want to spend her life wondering if Kevin would have stayed interested in her if not for the baby. He’d watched his sister-in-law have a meltdown just last year because of that, so why had he thought Beth wouldn’t have the same doubts?
“You wanna know what I think?” Mike asked.
“Sure.” At this point he needed all the help he could get.
“I think you should wait. Lisa and I had been seeing each other for a while and it was still hard. You got Beth pregnant on your first date. That’s not even enough time to know if you like her, never mind the ’til death do you part hook-up.”
Not entirely true. Call him crazy, but he knew he liked her the day he broke her ex-boss’s nose. He knew he really liked her before Joe’s reception was even over. And since…
He loved the idea of having a baby with Beth. He loved the idea of being a father. He loved the idea of seeing Beth every day.
But did he love Beth?
How the hell was he supposed to know for sure? It’s not like there was a quiz he could take. Or a checklist or a Ouija board or a pie chart or any other damn definitive way to tell.
He picked up the bottled water he stuck to while working and, after taking a slug, picked at the label. “Wait for what, though?”
“Wait until the baby’s a screaming, shitting ball of constant hunger and Beth hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in months and she hasn’t had time for a shower in three days and no matter what you say, she takes your head clean off your shoulders. Then, if you still think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world and there’s nowhere else you’d rather be, then maybe it’s the real deal.”
It sounded real and horrible and wonderful. “Is that how you felt?”
“Hell, Kev, I was a lot younger than you. Young and stupid. Took me a long time to get my head straight, but there was never a day I actually would have walked out the door.”
“I can’t imagine walking out the door on Beth.”
Mike tipped his beer mug at him. “It hasn’t been hard yet.”
“We’ve hit a couple of bumps.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet. Trust me.”
Kevin wasn’t stupid. He knew having a newborn was going to be the hardest thing they’d ever been through.
But she’d have him to lean on when she was tired. She’d get a decent night’s sleep because he’d take his turn feeding and changing the screaming, shitting ball of constant hunger. Maybe he could handle breakfast duty so she could shower.
Hard to do with a hallway between them though. It would be so much easier if—
“Look at you, all starry-eyed.” Mike laughed. “Sucker. Trust me, whatever way it is you’re thinking your infant experience is going to be easier than my infant experience? You are so wrong.”
He and Beth weren’t scared shitless kids, for one thing. They were adults, with life experience and common sense under their belts. They made a good team. “We’ll make out okay.”
“Sure you will.” Mike held up his mug for a refill. “Enough with the girl talk. I came here to watch the game.”
***
Paulie ran her fingers over Sam’s bare chest, ignoring the crappy Western that had caused him to pause in his incessant channel surfing. They’d fallen into bed too early so, after a rousing bout of mind-blowing sex and enough cuddling to keep him out of trouble, he’d clicked on the TV.