February
The baby wanted a bacon cheeseburger. Sure, Beth knew it was still too early to really be playing the baby cravings card, but she wanted a bacon cheeseburger and she didn’t intend to feel guilty about it. Screw the salads.
At this time of day—about an hour before people starting come in for a beer and SportsCenter—her favorite end of the bar would be deserted.
She’d grab a stool, inhale a heaping plate of too many calories—what was a bacon cheeseburger without fries, after all—then retreat back to her apartment where she’d spend the rest of the night hiding from the harsh February weather.
She was surprised to find Kevin already keeping one of the stools warm, his nose in a book. As always, the small jolt of desire mingled with regret caught in her chest when she looked at him.
He was such a good guy. She was pretty sure if she made a list of all the good things about Kevin and a list of qualities she was looking for in a man, there’d be a lot of overlap. If she was honest with herself, the list would probably be a close enough match to win a game show.
The problem was just what she’d feared, though. At the top of the list of the ways he made her feel was safe. Safe and taken care of and not alone while going through a pretty major life upheaval. And it was because of that she couldn’t trust her emotions where Kevin Kowalski was concerned. Nor could she trust his—he wanted a child and she was giving him one. That might be enough in his mind, but not hers.
But she couldn’t stand around staring at the back of his head, so she pasted on a friendly smile and walked over. “Whatcha reading?”
His head jerked up and he slapped the book closed before laying it face down on the bar and resting his hands across the back cover. “Nothing.”
“Come on. I love books.” She craned her neck and could make out the distinctive cover pattern. She should. She saw it on her bedside table every night. “You’re reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting?”
His cheeks turned as red as the Patriots T-shirt he wore. “So?”
“So…I think it’s sweet.”
“How sweet?” He leaned close, his dimples framing the naughty grin he flashed at her.
“Not that sweet.” She shoved him upright again before giving her order to Randy. When the guy not only didn’t write it down, but barely paid attention, she realized it might be time to cut back on the Jasper burgers.
Kevin tapped the cover of the book. “So when they take the baby’s tabloid picture, do we want to find out if it’s blue or pink?”
“Tabloid picture?”
“Yeah, you know—the fuzzy black-and-white picture of what looks like an alien head?”
“You mean the ultrasound.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, that. According to the book it’s almost time for one. Isn’t that how they tell the sex of the baby?”
“My appointment’s Tuesday, but a lot of time it’s too early or the baby’s not in a good position.”
“Tuesday as in three days from now?” She nodded and popped open the can of seltzer Randy set in front of her. “When were you going to tell me? What time’s the appointment? I need to know so I can make sure I’m covered.”
“You want to go with me?”
His look went beyond annoyed and well into seriously offended. “Of course I want to go.”
She should have guessed he’d want to go, and not just because his name was also on the checks made payable to her doctor. He’d want to go because he wasn’t the kind of guy who’d miss his baby’s first picture.
There hadn’t been a conscious decision on her part not to ask him. It just seemed so…intimate, which was ridiculous, of course. They’d made love, which was a lot more intimate than his sitting next to her while a woman ran an ultrasound wand over her naked stomach.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and meant it. “It’s an early appointment, at eight-thirty, which means leaving at eight, so the bar shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I’ll be waiting in the hall. So, if it’s not too early and the baby is in a good position, do you want to know?”
She hadn’t really thought about it yet. “Do you?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t either. What if it’s wrong? Sometimes they are and then you’re all set on a name and you buy a bunch of pink or blue and then…surprise! It’s all wrong.”
“Have you thought about names?”
She shook her head. “It’s too soon to choose names. Bad luck. But maybe if we find out the sex and it’s a girl, knowing ahead of time would give you time to come to terms with it.”
He looked offended again and swiveled on his stool so he was fully facing her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If it’s a girl, I’d rather you get over the disappointment now.”
“I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. As long as it’s healthy, I’ll be over the moon.”