The key to getting through this conversation, he figured, was making sure he kept food in his mouth so the chewing could keep buying him time to think. He’d had sticky making up and/or breaking up conversations with women before, but this was a first for him. This was the first relationship he’d ever had he couldn’t make a clean break from and that made it sticky. No matter how badly they hurt each other or pissed each other off, they’d never be able to make a clean break. The baby bound them together forever and that put a shitload of pressure on the conversation at hand.
“Tell me you won’t just disappear,” he finally said. “If you decide to take off, at least call me first. I don’t want to wake up some day to find you gone.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Kevin.” Tears made her eyes sparkle for a moment, but she blinked them back. “Just staying here is a big adjustment for me, and being pregnant. I think a serious relationship might be too much on top of it and I’m afraid, if we hook up and it goes wrong, it’ll be ugly and that’s not what I want for our child.”
“When it comes to the baby, I won’t ever walk away. Even if things go south between us, you will never have to worry about feeding that baby or buying it medicine or clothes or anything else it needs. I can promise you that.”
He watched her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath. “I believe that.”
“As for us…I don’t know, Beth. I can’t promise I’m your Mr. Right. I like you and I’d definitely been thinking about a second date. I guess you probably weren’t, since you snuck out in the middle of the night, but—”
“I liked you, too. And it was morning, not the middle of the night. But I got the impression you were done with me, so—”
“I explained that to you. I was half-asleep. Hell, more than half. I’d planned to take you out for breakfast and everything. But I’ve already told you that and apologized for it.”
“I wasn’t trying to accuse you again. Just explaining why I didn’t think we were heading for a second date.”
“Okay. But anyway, I wasn’t trying to trample your personal boundaries by buying you a cellphone. I was just trying to make your life a little easier and buy myself some peace of mind. I swear, it wasn’t some nefarious plot to become the evil overlord of your life.”
She blushed, nibbling on a slice of toast in a way that made him think she was also using the food as delay tactic. “I overreacted to the cellphone. Badly. I panicked, hearing you say family plan because we’re not. A family, I mean. We’re neighbors having a baby.”
He couldn’t stop himself from reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. “I prefer friends having a baby. And I’m sorry I didn’t consider you’d take it as anything other than a gift.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I had just had a really rough day and you didn’t deserve to be my whipping boy.”
Now was not even the time to crack a joke about her, a whip and his backside, so he used his free hand to shove a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth and chewed until the urge passed. “You need to understand that I think of you as family now. All the Kowalskis do, actually. If Lisa needed a new dryer, we’d make sure she got one. If Terry’s car broke down, we’d chauffeur her around until it was fixed. And if you need a cellphone, we buy you one. No strings. Definitely no leash.”
When the waitress returned with the coffee pot, he squeezed Beth’s fingers before letting go of her hand. He would have preferred to keep holding it, coffee and breakfast be damned, but it was pretty obvious at this point he had to tread very, very lightly around Beth. If he got pushy, she’d shut him down totally.
“I’ll try,” she said when they were alone again. “To do better at understanding where you’re coming from, I mean. Your family’s so…devoted and generous, and I need to learn how to appreciate that.”
“Good.” Then a very, very horrible thought popped into his head. “But, umm…when I say we think of you as family, I don’t mean you’re like my sister or anything.”
“That would be pretty weird, considering the whole baby thing.”
“The baby thing, sure, but also the fact I’m still thinking about that second date.”
“Oh.” He loved the way she blushed. “I haven’t changed my mind about having that kind of relationship with you. Since I’m pregnant, it’s not a good idea.”
“I haven’t changed my mind, either.” He grinned at her over the top of his coffee cup. “And I’m a pretty patient guy.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes, but deep inside, he didn’t find it quite as funny as she did. If she really didn’t want to be involved with him while she was pregnant, it was going to be a long wait.
Eight months. Eight months of cold showers, tossing and turning, and walking slightly bowlegged. Oh, and then another two months, at least, before she’d even think about feeling sexy again, based on what Mikey and Evan had said about their wives.
Holy shit, that was a long time. If thinking about box scores was a good way to keep your mind off sex, he was going to be the freaking Rainman of baseball statistics before the ten months—almost a whole damn year—was over.