Monday morning Claire called the doctor’s office and was relieved to learn of a Wednesday afternoon opening. If it weren’t for her dream, Claire would consider asking Harry to join her. However, despite their reconciliation Sunday morning, there was a change in their relationship. It was her news of the wedding that pushed his limits. Although it wasn’t declared, instinctively, Claire knew it. The stolen glances and casual touches were gone.
Everything probably happened too fast. Yet, thinking about the possibility they’d used the condoms commonly and not correctly, Claire was thankful they were still comfortable and friendly with one another. Harry appreciated Claire’s bond with Courtney and her desire to attend the ceremony. He couldn’t comprehend the necessity of being in Iowa Thursday through Sunday, and most importantly, why she agreed to stay at Mr. Rawlings’ estate. Claire told him and Amber the truth. She was staying at the estate for one reason -- to see Catherine.
In many ways, the woman had become Claire’s mother. She was the steady force during a very difficult time in Claire’s life. Catherine’s support and encouragement sustained her. Looking back, there were times Claire wondered if she would’ve survived without Catherine’s care. Amber and Harry still had their mother; they couldn’t understand.
When Wednesday arrived, Claire tried with all of her might to retain the wealth of information. In the beginning, the doctor’s staff asked a lot of questions, and even though she’d done a home pregnancy test, they instructed her to urinate in a cup, to confirm the pregnancy.
The eerie stillness of the examination room pulled at Claire’s already stretched nerves. She longed for a hand to hold or a voice for comfort. Instead, she waited alone on her roller coaster of emotion for the doctor to confirm the blue plus. Since that moment, three days ago -- every minute, every second, she thought about the pregnancy. While shopping for a dress for Caleb’s wedding, she stood motionless for minutes upon minutes looking at her flat stomach in the dressing room mirror and wondered: How long until it begins to grow?
The last two nights, during the night, she woke to use the bathroom. Last night she heard her own voice saying, “Hey Little One, I know you don’t mean anything by this, but just remember I like my sleep. Maybe we can work on some compromises.” (Always the master negotiator.) It wasn’t until the words were out of her mouth that she contemplated her discussion. Was she actually talking to the cause of her nausea and increased urination?
As she sat alone in the silence of the examination room, Claire realized she wanted their test to confirm the one she took at Amber’s condo. She wouldn’t have believed it three days ago, but if they came in the room and told her that she wasn’t pregnant, Claire would be devastated.
That realization strengthened her. She wanted this baby. Thinking about the paternity, she recognized it didn’t matter. It did. But it wouldn’t affect her feelings for this child. He or she was hers. The rest would work itself out, or it wouldn’t. Keeping this baby safe and healthy was now her number one concern.
Dr. Sizemore entered the small room with her laptop in her hand. “Ms. Nichols, congratulations! You are definitely pregnant.”
Claire’s smile radiated to her emerald eyes. It wasn’t planned. Potentially she was in the middle of a dangerous mine field. Her entire world could explode with one single misstep. None of it mattered. Her world and the treacherous terrain she navigated were suddenly and forever inconsequential. In her figurative game of chess, attacking her opponent was no longer as important as reinforcing and protecting her pieces, especially her one new piece. Claire would forever have someone else to consider.
After some discussion, Dr. Sizemore directed an ultrasound wand and spoke reassuringly, “The external ultrasound works well later in pregnancy. This early we need to use what is called trans-vaginal.”
Claire forgot the uncomfortable sensation as she watched the screen before her go in and out of focus. When the doctor finally stilled the picture, all Claire could see was white static, with a dark oval and something white, shaped like a peanut. Dr. Sizemore explained, “This is your baby.”
A grid appeared, superimposed on the peanut as Dr. Sizemore took measurements.
“Is everything all right?” Claire asked.
“Yes, everything looks perfect. Do you see this small movement?” A white arrow appeared on the screen and pointed to a dark pulsating spot within the peanut. The sound of swishing filled the small room.
Claire nodded.