Despite the rising outdoor temperature and humidity, the mansion remained cool, too cool. Marie longed for a momentary reprieve. Emotions were running too high. Sighing, she settled onto one of the comfortable lounge chairs Nathaniel had ordered to Sharron’s balcony and accepted the sun’s warmth on her upturned face. A slight breeze tempered the June rays, as Marie inhaled the fresh country air. Sitting barefooted in a pair of shorts, she stretched her long legs out before her, and attempted to read. Despite the lovely afternoon, concentration was difficult. After all, the doctor was completing his most recent examination of Sharron on one of his now daily trips to the estate. Since he usually had one or two nurses for assistance, Marie found it better to allow them their space. When he was done, he’d sit down with Marie and Ms. Amanda and give his daily report. Of course, if Nathaniel or Mr. Samuel were home, they too would be included in the conference. Although, Marie knew Samuel and Amanda didn’t approve of her presence, she appreciated they’d momentarily quelled their objections.
Ms. Sharron continually outlived every prediction made by the physician. But, as Marie listened to the monitors and witnessed her expressions, she knew Ms. Sharron was ready to go. The beautiful, elderly, frail woman believed in a higher being, a merciful God and a heavenly paradise. After spending over two years at the woman’s side, Marie believed Sharron refused passage due to an unseen binding, bound to this earth by the chains of love. The afterworld, full of beauty and peace, was waiting. She just needed to let herself go.
Some would call it cruel, but after careful consideration, Marie and Nathaniel decided to be honest with her. Although her eyes hadn’t registered any recollection in months and her mouth no longer spoke, there were times when holding her hand she’d momentarily squeeze theirs, in return. The physician explained this as mere muscle contractions. He reasoned emotional humans try to read meaning into scientific phenomenons, where in fact, there was none. Marie didn’t care about his explanation. She believed there were times, Sharron could hear, understand, and communicate any way possible.
They’d discussed their speech many times. These discussions occurred alone in Marie’s suite --usually in her bed. If Sharron wouldn’t leave this world because of her bond to Nathaniel, he needed to tell her to go. Not as he would dismiss a servant or an employee, but with love and understanding. He needed to explain, he wanted her suffering to stop, and he would survive. He would live again. And this was the part they debated -- he was living again. Not only living, he was loving.
They both hoped the knowledge of Nathaniel’s new life and new love would allow Sharron the peace to cross over. She could go where her body once again worked, where she could smile, sing and most importantly where pain, physical and emotional, ceased to exist.
The opportunity came only two nights ago, sometime after midnight. They’d been sitting in the plush high backed chairs, talking about something from Nathaniel’s work when Marie noticed Sharron’s eyes flutter and her hands open and close. Silently, Marie approached the far side of Ms. Sharron’s bed; Nathaniel did the same on the near side. Without speaking, they created a circle. Marie remembered the warmth and strength coming from Nathaniel. It was such a stark contrast to the cool fragility of Sharron.
It was one of those instances in your life where time ceases to exist. When Marie’s gaze went from Sharron’s uncharacteristically clear and knowing eyes, to the dark intense stare of Nathaniel, she felt her heart break and swell. Was that how it happened? Similar to a turtle’s shell, it shatters before it can grow. The pain that no medicine could treat produced tears which unapologetically streamed from Marie’s eyes. However, it wasn’t until she saw the same moisture escape from the dark eyes of the man she loved, that she felt the impending sobs within her chest, threatening the loving silence which filled the room.
Marie knew it wasn’t her place to speak. Oh, she didn’t have a problem directing Nathaniel while alone, but this was his speech. He needed to proceed at his own pace. It may be the only time she ever heard his voice crack, but she did. It was a gift few others receive, a forbidden view into his heart and soul.
“Sharron, it’s all right. I want you to let me go.” He continually exhaled, at a seemingly disproportionate rate to the breaths he took in. Finally, he continued, “I love you. I will always love you. And I know you love me. But you need to move on, for you, for all of us. Samuel and Amanda will be all right. Anton will be fine,” more exhaling and inhaling, “and we will miss you, but we will survive.”
Sharron squeezed both of the hands that held hers. Her eyes appeared to flit from one face to the other. Did she know? Was she giving her blessing? They’d never know for sure, but they could believe. Nathaniel’s voice gained strength, “I will never forget you, but I’ve found solace. Marie came into my life for you, but she’s helped me, too.” More breathing, “We’ve found comfort in one another.”
When he fell silent, Marie spoke, “Ms. Sharron, I promise to take care of Nathaniel, as much as he will allow. He will not be alone.”
Nathaniel’s eyes moved from his wife, to his companion, to her midsection. Marie looked away. Did he really want to reveal their secret? She couldn’t do it; again, it was his decision. “Sharron, this may shock you.” He grinned through the grief; Marie believed she heard a low laugh. “I know it did me. But dear, there’ll be another Rawls in the house. Our name will continue. We have a baby due the beginning of next year.”