Trial by Fire

“That’s not what I meant,” he said quietly.

“I notice you didn’t say that in mindspeak,” Lily replied, disappointed. “Why? Are you hiding something?” She hadn’t expected him to blurt out that he didn’t think she was like Lillian at all anymore, but she’d secretly hoped he would. Rowan tried to continue, but Lily strode forward and cut him off. “This is between Caleb and me. You shouldn’t be interfering.”

Rowan’s face hardened and he stood back. “You’re right. I have no right to tell a witch what she can and can’t do. I hope you’re paying attention, Caleb. This is your life from now on if you become a witch’s fist.”

Lily ignored his comment, or tried to. She busied herself by reattaching her willstones to her necklace, wondering why she felt so guilty. Rowan was acting like she was laying down the law, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t in charge here; she was just doing what Caleb wanted. Wasn’t she?

Lily shook off her doubt and stood across from Caleb. He was in so much pain that she could feel it spilling out and around him like a halo. She took his hand in hers.

“Are you going to fight the Citadel?” Caleb asked.

Lily paused. Over the past few weeks she hadn’t thought twice about supplying the rebels with whatever Alaric asked of her. But her motivation for learning magic was not to stay in this world and fight. It was to go home. She looked into Caleb’s desperate face, knowing that she had to make a choice. Did she want to stand up against Lillian? Or more importantly, could she live with herself if she didn’t?

“For as long as I’m here, I’ll fight Lillian,” she replied, hushed by the weight of her decision.

“I need your word.”

Lily thought of that old history teacher in the woods again. She wanted to know his name but wondered if it would be easier or harder to forget him if she did. “I give you my word that if they attack us, I’ll fight her with everything I’ve got.”

“Then you’ve got me.”

Lily’s hand darted out hungrily of its own accord. She noticed that it was moving too fast and managed to snatch it back at the last second. She heard Rowan suck in a sharp breath.

“Sorry! I’m sorry. I’ve only done this once before,” she said, grinning sheepishly at Caleb.

“Well, I’ve never done this with a girl,” he said shakily. “Let alone a witch, and I hear that’s something else entirely.”

“No grabbing,” Lily promised, and crossed her heart.

He took a second, and then nodded at Lily. She raised her hand and ever so slowly took his willstone between the tips of her fingers. Caleb’s eyes closed and he shivered from head to toe. Lily had Caleb’s pattern. She played it back to his stone and saw one of Caleb’s memories. From Caleb’s perspective she saw …

… A beautiful blond boy, maybe twelve, sitting on a brick wall. My dad makes me go back. He’s seen that Elias had his head on my shoulder when he picked me up after lessons, and he tells me I have to go back and punch the sissy in the nose. I don’t want my dad to know I’m like Elias. I walk back. My throat feels tight, but I hit him.

You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want to, Caleb.

… The sachem walks across the room quickly. The meeting is over. The sachem stops and holds his hand out to me. He says I’ve grown. The way he says it makes me laugh. I’m as big as two of him, and I’m not even fifteen. Elias sees the sachem notice me. I’m so proud. Someday Elias will notice me again, too. He’ll forgive me for what I did. Forgive me, Elias.

I wasn’t there for him, Lily.

… Elias lies in the alley. He’s not moving. They tried to take him to get to me, to make me submit. Help me, Rowan. There are too many of them.

I’m so sorry, Caleb.