She leaned in, shivering at his nearness, his heat, and said softly in his ear, “I already told you, sassy Penni DePaul is the old Penny DePaul. Not the new one.”
“Whatever,” he murmured, putting his mouth so near her ear she could feel his lips move. Then he inhaled. Did he just smell me? “I thought I’d lost her at dinner, so I’m happy to see she’s making a return performance. Even if it means she’s currently razzing my raisins.”
If she wasn’t mistaken, he’d just taken a step to close that uncomfortable, emotional Grand Canyon between them. The relief she felt had her leaning into him until they were shoulder to shoulder. His body was a fortress beside her, big and solid and imposing. She wanted to crawl inside him and let him protect her from all the things she was afraid of, from all the things she needed to tell him but couldn’t. Which was silly and not at all like the bold, gutsy woman she’d always prided herself on being, but there you have it.
And speaking of the things she needed to tell him, speaking of being bold and gutsy, it was time to explain what had happened downstairs. She blew out a silent breath and turned to pull his ear down to her mouth. Since she was all legs, when they were sitting side by side, he was much taller than she was. “I want to talk about what happened at dinner and apologize for—”
He pulled back and put a finger over her lips. It was warm and callused and had her heart fluttering against her rib cage. “Shh,” he mouthed. His words were barely a whisper when he said, “If you’re gonna say you’re sorry for being appalled that I—”
She grabbed his wrist—Christ, his skin was hot—and removed his finger from her lips. “I wasn’t appalled,” she assured him, raising her voice, not caring that the devices picked up the sound, because this was something she needed him to understand. “Not at all. I don’t judge you or think less of you because you fight the battle with booze. Hell, my favorite uncle is a recovering alcoholic. I know what it takes for a man to dance with the devil every day and still come out the victor.”
He smiled then. It was a little sad. A little ashamed. She wanted to kiss it right off his lips. “Dance with the devil,” he mused. “Never heard it put that way, but I guess that pretty much sums it up.”
She searched his face, trying to think of what else she could say to convince him she wasn’t put off by his alcoholism. But then he lifted his hand and ran a finger over her cheek. It was a delicate caress, not meant to be incendiary. Just the same, fire erupted across her skin. And whatever words she’d been forming slipped to the back of her throat when he whispered so quietly, “Brooklyn…”
Her breath caught at the sound of the nickname he’d given her. Her heart skipped one beat. Then another. The whole world condensed down to this one room. This one man.
“Can I—” He hesitated and she wanted to cry out, What? What? Can you what? She’d grant him anything. Everything. Finally, he finished with, “Can I kiss you?”
She closed her eyes. She suddenly felt dizzy. Okay, so screw the mission. “I thought you’d never ask.”
* * *
Penni’s words—those sweet, irresistible words—had Dan releasing all the pent-up air in his lungs in one long, silent sigh. And because the truth seemed to be working so well for him today, he decided to offer her one more unassailable fact. “I’ve missed you, Penni.” Because he hadn’t lowered his voice, his whispered words were picked up by the speakers, lending them even more meaning, more emphasis.
Her eyes rounded, seeming to take up her whole face. “I-I’ve missed you too, Dan,” she murmured haltingly, her voice cracking on his name, like saying it aloud was both pleasure and pain.
And that was all he needed to hear. All he needed to know. Even though he still wasn’t sure what was between them, whether it was nothing more than an intense physical attraction that would burn bright and extinguish itself quickly once they gave themselves over to it, or if it was something more, something precious and rare and lasting, he was sure that whatever it was, he wanted to see it through to the end.
The realization had a warm glow blooming in the center of his chest, in a place he hadn’t realized had been a cold, black void. The glow grew, spreading outward until his whole body was diffused in delicious, wondrous heat. Looking into her pretty face, watching her wide, dark eyes search his uncertainly, he recognized that warm glow for what it was…
Hope.
Hope that perhaps there could still be more to his life than daring and duty and daily dances with the devil.