Izzy widened her eyes. She hadn't even thought about birth control. That's what she got for letting her hormones take over. "Oh, Charles, what if I'm pregnant?"
"Darling, yes, we need to think of the possibility, but that's not all."
Izzy frowned. "Well, where I come from, there are concerns of certain, uh, diseases."
He jerked his head up and stared at her. "No. It's not a concern, I assure you."
She shrugged "That's good to know. And, not for me either. It's been so long since… well anyway, you were saying…"
"Yes, here, another consequence of having relations before marriage is losing one's reputation. A lady must consider this."
"Oh, is that all?" She flipped her hand through the air. "I'm not worried about it. Believe me, it's not a big concern where I come from."
"But here, it is."
"What are you saying?"
He gazed down at her hand, which rested in his. "What I'm saying, Isabella, is, we must marry."
"What?" She stood up so fast Charles tumbled backward and landed on his backside. Now she was the one who paced. "How ridiculous. That kind of thinking went out with the—" She swung around and stared at him. He was standing again, his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. Now she got it. "Oh."
He let out a heavy sigh. "Now you understand why Uncle Sebastian was so demanding of me meeting him in the den."
Izzy sat down on the bed, suddenly feeling if she didn't her legs would buckle. Now would not be a good time for another panic attack. "But, I planned on going back to my time in America anyway. So what does it matter?"
He sat next to her on the bed. "I wish you would reconsider." He took her in his arms and pulled her close.
"Why? I thought you understood I had to go back."
"Because I love you."
Tears rushed from her eyes. He loved her? She pulled away enough to see into his eyes. Yes, it was there. She could see it in the way he caressed her face with his gaze. He loved her! "Oh, Charles. I love you, too."
His body relaxed, as if he'd held in a breath and released it. "You have made me so happy."
"But I'm going home."
"But you love me."
She rubbed her fingers across his bare shoulders. "Yes, I do love you. That's why this is so hard."
Charles frowned. "I don't understand. I thought—"
"You thought I could stay here and we would get married?"
"Yes."
"But I still have my dream of being independent. To prove my father wrong."
Charles swallowed, nodded, and stood. "As you wish. You can leave to pursue your dream." He walked to the door. Pivoting toward her once more, he tilted his head. "But you were my dream."
He opened the door and left.
****
Izzy sat on the bed. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Would they ever stop? Her heart was broken and it was her own fault. Charles wanted to marry her. He loved her. Why was she hanging onto the idea that she needed to do something to make her father proud? Was she being foolish to care anymore what he thought? If she and her father were face to face right now, and Izzy was financially independent, would he finally admit he was wrong?
Izzy realized trying to please her father wasn't her dream. It was an obsession. Had she just thrown away real happiness with Charles for something that would never happen with her father, no matter how hard she tried?
A soft knock sounded on the door. Charles? Izzy hurried so fast across the room she nearly tripped over the hem of her nightgown. She swung open the door with a wide grin on her face, but immediately sobered when the person standing there was Sarah.
"Oh, Sarah. Come in." Izzy left the door open and returned to sit on the bed.
Sarah curtsied. "Would my lady like to get dressed now?"
Izzy shrugged. May as well. What else did she have to do today? "Yes, Sarah, that would be fine." Allowing the maid to help her out of the nightgown no longer seemed as strange as it used to. She'd still rather do it herself, but had grown accustomed to having Sarah around.
Before Izzy left, she needed to work with Sarah a little more on her reading. The girl was indeed smart and was coming along well, but Sarah didn't want her to think she'd abandoned her without finishing their lessons. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly. Sarah was wearing one of the new day dresses. Was it Izzy's imagination or was Sarah even prettier than she'd been before? The maid's blue eyes sparkled and her face held a pleasant expression. Maybe knowing she was well-dressed and could read for herself gave her some confidence.
Izzy decided since Uncle Sebastian knew she was already in the house, it was silly to hide any longer in her room. She still wouldn't go outside, in case someone else would see her, but while in the house, she'd feel free to roam. It would be wonderful not to be confined to just a room or two anymore.
Walking down the steps in the daylight seemed odd. A couple of maids opened their mouths, and their eyes widened at the sight of her, and then they scurried off toward the back of the house.