She angled her glance away from him. "Ever since I was a little girl, my father has told me I wouldn't amount to anything. You see, he wanted a son and was disappointed. He never let a day go by when he didn't remind me of that fact. He said a woman wasn't good for anything but getting married and having children. I'm determined to prove him wrong. Once I secure this job, I can truly take care of myself financially. Then he'll see I'm worth something."
Charles frowned. "A husband's responsibility is to see to his wife's security and well-being. Here, men are clamoring for wives, someone with whom to share their lives. You could have that with… someone." He'd come so close to saying his own name. He could envision them spending their lives together. Never had he met someone so intelligent, imaginative, and interesting. Not to mention her physical beauty, which stirred him as no other ever had.
Isabella shook her head. "But that's the point, you see? If I depended on a man for my livelihood, then I would have proven my father right. I would have amounted to nothing."
He glanced down at their joined hands, feeling as if any joy he'd ever had, or would ever have, had died. Why would she ever consider staying here when she had all that she'd mentioned waiting for her at home? Obviously her heart's desire resided there. There was no chance for her to stay. No chance for them. His fledgling dream died soon after it was conceived.
Charles gazed upon her beautiful face as he felt his heart breaking. "Yes. I see there would be nothing of value for you here." He opened his hand, letting hers slide away, and then he stood. "If you will excuse me, Lady Isabella, I have some items to which I must attend."
Chapter Four
Izzy sat on the couch, alone. She felt horrible. It had never been her intention to offend or hurt Charles, just to state the fact that she missed many things about her time. The sad look on his face nearly broke her heart. Sighing heavily, she realized, while she did miss those things, she was developing feelings for Charles, which would get in the way of her going home to all of that.
Never in her life had she met a man so attentive, so sweet or polite. Was it because of his upbringing and the time period of his birth, or was it just him? For the first time, she had doubts about the life she'd pictured for so long.
Her father's cutting remarks echoed through her mind. If he hadn't been so cruel to her, would her outlook have been different? Would her life have been more balanced? Achieving her goal of financial independence had been the driving force behind her ambition for so long, she'd excluded the possibility of anything else. Had she missed out on a special relationship with a man in the past because of it? Was she missing out now for something like that with Charles? What if he was her true chance for happiness and she'd ruined it?
Izzy wanted to apologize but couldn't just traipse around the estate trying to find him. If someone saw her, she and Charles would both be in trouble. Where had he gone? All she could do now was wait for him to return and hope he accepted her apology.
Frustrated and needing to put her thoughts elsewhere, she wandered around the room, stopping in front of a tall wooden bookcase. She wondered if Charles was the main reader in the estate, or if his uncle liked to read, too. Izzy ran her finger along the old, cracked spines. Their worn appearance proved some of the books were obvious favorites.
She could picture Charles sitting in this room, leaning against the back of the couch while he perused page after interesting page. From their discussion earlier, he seemed interested in things of the future. He would certainly love certain aspects of her time.
Would any of the staff come here to read? She shook her head. Doubtful. From what she'd observed just in her short time here, there was a definite class distinction. Even if their servants were allowed to use the books, would they even have the time? They seemed to wait on the duke's needs all day and into the night, depending on what was required.
A memory of Sarah looking longingly at the day dresses on the bed caused Izzy to stop. Would the maid ever be able to better her lifestyle? Or was she destined to wait on someone else for her entire life? Izzy was more determined than ever to ask Charles about some of the dresses for Sarah. Something about the younger woman tugged at her heart. Did she have family nearby? Were there any close friends, if there was even any time for them?
The door to the den squeaked as someone pushed it open. Izzy gulped a mouthful of air and hurried to the curtains. Just as she pulled them around her, she recognized Sarah's voice.
"My lady, it's I, Sarah. I've brought the refreshments his grace requested. I was told to address you if you were… indisposed and couldn't come to the door."
Izzy peeked around the fabric. Sarah was alone. She let out a breath, trying to calm her fluttering heartbeat. If it had been anyone besides Sarah or Charles, there would've been major trouble.
"Oh, thank you, Sarah." Inwardly she scolded herself. Even though she wanted to express her gratitude, she needed to remember the servants didn't feel comfortable accepting her thanks.