When she answered, she was wearing skintight yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. God, she looked good. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her. But he couldn’t. He’d lost that right because he was stupid.
Her eyes widened when she saw it was him at the door.
“Oh. Hi,” she said.
“Hi yourself. I know I should have phoned, but you didn’t answer the last few times I called you, so I thought I’d drop by.”
“Yeah. Sorry. My feelings were a little hurt about being dumped as your therapist.”
He loved that she was so forward and honest. “Can I come in?”
She hesitated. He didn’t know what he’d do if she said no.
“Sure.”
He stepped into the living room and turned. “I feel like I’m always apologizing to you.”
She didn’t say anything.
“Maybe it’s because I’m always fucking up. I’m not very good at this relationship thing. I’ve never had one before. I’ve dated here and there, but nothing long lasting. You and me—I think we’ve got something special, and I feel like I let it go.”
“You didn’t let it go. You’re mixing the work aspect with the personal.”
He took a deep inhale. “But they are mixed together. Or they were. In my head, anyway.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I got used to seeing you every day. I got used to you taking care of me. And when you weren’t there . . .”
She frowned. “So you’re upset I’m not your therapist anymore?”
He was screwing this up. He shook his head. “No. I mean, yes. What you did for me—you turned my life and my career around. I can’t thank you enough for that. Manny thinks I’ll be a starting pitcher again soon.”
“That’s good news. I told you that you would be.”
“I know you did. I guess when I started pitching again, I wanted it to happen right away. And when it didn’t, everything got confused for me. I looked for someone to blame for that.”
She crossed her arms. “And I was convenient?”
She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. “Yeah, I guess so. You were responsible for my recovery, for helping me pull my head out of my ass and make me see that I could pitch again. And when things didn’t go the way I wanted them to, I blamed you. When Max came to me and told me that he could get me the rest of the way, I jumped at the chance.”
“I could have gotten you there, Garrett.”
“I know. Which is what I told Max. He’s very good at what he does. But he’s not you.”
She stepped closer. “You told Max what?”
“I told Max that while I appreciated his working with me, I’ve grown used to you as my therapist, and I’d rather work with you.”
She gaped at him. “You did not say that to him.”
“I did. He’s fine with it.”
Her lips lifted. “I’m pretty sure Max isn’t fine with it.”
“I don’t care if he is or not. What I do care is how you feel.” He crossed the distance between them and picked up her hand to hold it; he’d missed her touch so much. “I hurt you that day. And I let you walk away from me. I’m sorry for that. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve . . . missed you, too, Garrett.”
“I love you, Alicia.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“I do. I can’t tell you how much that scares me. The breakup of my parents’ marriage kind of soured me on the whole idea of love and permanence. You know how I am about family. Hell, I don’t even see my own much anymore because it makes me so damned uncomfortable to be around them. It reminds me of pain and loss and things I don’t want to remember. But then I see you with your whole family—and the love that surrounds you—and it makes me believe that maybe we could have something like that, that maybe that kind of love actually does exist.”
Alicia was swamped with so many emotions at once she couldn’t process them all. Relief that he’d shown up—that he’d come to her and laid his feelings on the line—and utter shock that he’d told her he loved her.
He’d even apologized and taken responsibility for hurting her. It took a strong man to stand up to his failings. A lot of men couldn’t do that.
She laid her hand on Garrett’s chest and tilted her head back to look into the face she loved so much. “You did hurt me. I’ve put everything I have into making you a pitcher again. And you threw it all away because you got scared.”
This time he didn’t look away. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t run every time the world doesn’t turn in the direction you want it to. You might not become a starting pitcher again at the time you think is right for you, but you will start again, Garrett. I know you will. I believe in you. I’ve always believed in you.”
She felt his shudder. He clasped his hands over hers, brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss there. “You’ve always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Thank you for that. And now I have to ask if you’ll forgive me for hurting you, even though I don’t deserve it. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.”