Huh. Disappeared. I remembered a passage from the pages of his journal.
Some slayers have inklings of the future. Some can see the Blood Lines and recognize our sanctuaries. Some can destroy the zombies one by one, then two by two, after being bitten a single time. Something in their spirit infects the zombies and spreads from one to another like a contagious disease, with no more action on the slayer’s part. Some can do none of that. Some can do all of that. I can do all. That’s how I know about the war that’s coming. That’s how I know that not a single slayer—or civilian—will survive unless something more is done. That’s how I know what needs to be done.
I need to die.
Then, a few chapters later, he’d written, Are you willing to give up your own life to save others? Have you realized that dying is the only way to truly live?
Had he given up his life to save others? Had he died to truly live?
If so, great. Wonderful. But what did any of that mean? I hadn’t known before, and I certainly didn’t know now.
I tweaked my newest to-do list. Pray for the best. Hope answers rain down.
Outside, tires squealed. A door slammed.
I frowned and stalked to the window to peer out.
Because of the shape of the house, the driveway was hidden and I couldn’t see the car. Or, apparently, the person who’d abandoned it to stomp to our porch and pound on the door.
“Ali,” a voice called. “I just heard.”
My heart nearly leaped into my throat. Cole? He hadn’t cut me from his life?
I rushed to the entrance and opened up. He burst inside, paused in front of me. He looked me over, and I did the same to him. His eyes were bloodshot—clearly, he hadn’t slept. His face was battered and bruised, his stitches stark. His clothes were wrinkled and it was obvious he’d pulled them on hastily.
“I didn’t say a word to them,” he said.
“I know. They had a video.”
One of his brows rose into an arch. “So you got to see what happened?”
I nodded, unable to hide my growing shame.
He cupped my cheeks as if he still had every right to touch me. My chin trembled—no! no more tears—and I battled the urge to lean into him, to rest my head on his shoulder and draw from his strength. I pulled away, severing contact.
His expression hardened.
“All right, well.” Nana cleared her throat before gathering her purse and keys. “I’m headed to Target to pick up the things we’re going to need. You two obviously have a few issues to work out.”
“I don’t need anything,” I assured her.
She kissed me on the cheek, patted Cole on the arm and left us alone.
“I’ll talk to Ankh,” Cole said, shutting and locking the door.
“No. Don’t. I’m furious for what he’s done to Nana, but I do understand what he’s done to me. I attacked you, Cole. Like, I planned to eat the life out of your spirit.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“Well, I do.”
He waved the words away. “You weren’t in your right mind.”
“What about the other thing? I bit a freaking zombie. No telling what other damage that’s caused inside me, or just how tainted I am now. I don’t know what to do, or how to fix myself. Not really. I mean, the journal said I needed the fire, but I tried that and nothing happened, and now my fire is red. And did you hear the part about my being tainted?”
“Wait. You tried to fix yourself with your fire?”
Uh-oh.
“You actually tried to kill the zombie—you. And we were, what? Just supposed to find your ashes, never wonder what had happened and move on?”