Just then, I didn’t care about that, either. “Your point? We’ll still be together.”
Her smile slowly fell. “I don’t think we would.” Looking down at her ballet slippers, she said, “Once we promised never to lie to each other, and right now I’m going to keep that promise.” A pause. A sigh. “You’re in trouble, Alice, and it’s getting worse every day.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m handling things.”
Her gaze met mine. “I can see the smudges.”
I gulped. “What are they?”
Expression filled with tenderness, she reached up and brushed one side of my face. “I told you I would talk to people, and I did. But, Alice...I don’t think you’re going to like what I learned.”
“Tell me anyway.” I had to know.
“Very well. Have you ever heard the story of the two hungry wolves living inside every man? One is good, one is evil and both are fighting for control. In the end, the one that’s fed will end up the winner.”
I shook my head.
“Well, that is what’s happening. That night inside Anima Industries, when you were stabbed, you had so much zombie toxin inside you the antidote couldn’t eradicate all of it. Your spirit was strong enough to fight it, though, keeping that part of you safe, but not your already weakened body. And the toxin, well, it was a mutated version and created something new, something born of you. Another spirit. That means there are now two spirits battling to the death for rights to live inside you. Yours, the human Alice. And the other...zombie Alice.”
Pausing, she waited for those words to sink in.
I wrapped my arms around myself, as if I could protect myself from such a terrible invasion. Zombie Alice. Fighting for control. My smudged reflection... The desperate whispering voices... The sickening urges... I nearly dropped to my knees.
“You’re saying I’ve become a host to a...to a...zombie. But that can’t be. I’ve had long moments without the darker urges. Like now. I don’t want to bite you.”
“That’s true, but you have to think of this as a disease. Your human spirit is fighting the zombie spirit, even though you may not be aware of it, and the human one is mostly winning right now. But because your human spirit, and therefore your body, produces a poison for the zombies, and you now have a zombie inside you, you are basically poisoning yourself. You’re allergic to yourself and weakening because of it.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head.
“You know I’m right,” she said, and I could tell she was battling tears. “The darker side of you is sometimes strong enough to manifest outside you.”
No. “I’ll use more antidote.”
“And that will help in the short term, but it’s not a solution.”
“What is?” I croaked.
“I...don’t actually know. When Justin bit you, he woke this new side of you. Breathed life into it.”
Finally I did fall to my knees. I couldn’t deny her words anymore, could I? Seconds after Justin had bitten me, the new heart had started beating.
The new heart.
For the new me.
“What happens if she wins?” I asked.
“You know the answer to that.”
I did. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it.
I would become what I hated most.
“How long do I have?” I asked, trying not to sob.
“Longer than most. Do you remember when Mom put her hand on your leg after the crash?”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t form words, could only nod. The dreams hadn’t been dreams, then, but memories. Having it confirmed ripped me apart. She’d suffered. My mother had suffered.
“She didn’t realize she was doing it, but she passed on her zombie-slaying abilities. Her...power, I guess is as good a word as any.”