The moment we entered my old room and shut the door, I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him. We were kissing in the next instant, and it was electric, consuming, the force of it so great I felt as if I became a part of him.
“Ali,” he said, when he finally came up for air. “People are always throwing the word love around, but before you, I never did. And I’d never needed to hear it, either. Then, the other night, you uttered those words to me, and it’s okay if you don’t remember, but I heard them, and it affected me, and now I want to hear the words for real because I love you so much it hurts. I need to hear the words. If you’re ready to give them.”
Huge step. The one that would send me over the cliff.
He took my hand and shoved it under his shirt, placing my palm on his skin, just over his heart, where the last part of my name was etched. “You’re a part of me, and you’ll always be a part of me, and if you need more time, that’s all right, too.”
“Cole...”
He shook his head. “Don’t say anything. Not yet. I want to get the rest of this out.”
My eyes widened. There was more?
“I think I’ve told you how stubborn you are, how curious and now, even jealous, and you’re also quick tempered, and you’ve got the meanest right cross of all time.”
“Hey,” I said, losing a little of my happy buzz.
“But I get more joy from your smiles than anything else,” he continued. “I look at you, and I want you. Actually, I have only to think about you to want you. There’s a sweetness to you, a vulnerability you allow so few people to see, but I’m one of the lucky ones and I’ll be forever grateful.”
Oh.
Who was I kidding? I’d already leaped off the cliff.
“You’re mine, Ali Bell.”
Silence.
“Can I talk now?” I asked.
He nodded stiffly.
Did he fear what I had to say? “Breaking up with you was the toughest thing I’ve ever gone through. At least I thought so at the time. Staying away from you proved tougher. From the moment our eyes first met, I’ve been drawn to you. Not just because you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met, but also because you have a core of courage and honor and when I’m with you, I feel safe and protected, and even cherished. I might be yours, but you are certainly mine, and I’m never letting you go. I love you, too, Cole Holland.”
“Thank God.” His hold on me tightened.
Now for the bad news. “When I’m no longer able to use the antidote,” I said softly, “I want to use the flames on me.”
“No.”
“Yes,” I said. “You must.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“Maybe you won’t.” To-do: survive.
“Maybe I will.”
“Faith,” I said. “Have faith in me, in this. The last time you didn’t, we fell apart.”
“Ali—”
“Light will chase away the darkness,” I interjected.
“Ali,” he repeated again.
“I know. I know it’s hard.” I kissed him and said nothing more. But I didn’t change my mind.
I never would.
Chapter 29
End at a New Beginning
For the next week, I floated on clouds of bliss. I stayed dosed up on the antidote, so I stayed somewhat strong, though I had moments of utter weakness and moments of depraved hunger.
Z.A. was fighting.
Cole rarely left my side. He showed me the Christmas present he’d gotten for me—a drawer in his bedroom. I’d jumped into his arms, wound my legs around his waist and whooped like a madwoman. He’d broken up with Mackenzie when she moved in, citing things were getting too serious. For me, he said, things couldn’t get serious enough.
Afterward, he’d taken me to visit Jaclyn. Poor girl. Since our rescue, she had turned away every visitor. Me, she’d let inside her bedroom, and she’d hugged me and sobbed until she’d passed out from exhaustion.
I was now determined to draw her back into the world.
Wren and Poppy had been there, hanging out with Justin. They knew he and Cole were friends once again, so I was a little surprised to learn Wren and Justin were still dating. I was also surprised when the girls talked to me, as if we were still on decent terms, and promised to call.