“Tell me how you feel about me,” he croaked.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. If I said the words—I love you, Cole, love you so much I ache—he would keep his word to never let me go, and he had to let me go. “I told you. I’m no good for you right now. That’s the only thing that hasn’t changed, and I’m not going to risk—”
“So you’re not ready. Okay. I get it. We’ll revisit this subject later.” He lowered his head, until his nose brushed mine.
I breathed him in. “No. Not later.”
“Fine. We’ll finish it now. I want you, and you want me. For now, that’ll have to be enough.” He smashed his mouth against mine, his tongue thrusting deep, and I moaned at the perfection of it. His taste, his heat, his strength, his...everything. This was what I’d missed. This was what I’d craved. Us...together. Not out of anger or hurt. Just need.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and arched up, unable to help myself. He released my hands, and I immediately tangled my fingers in his hair.
“This doesn’t mean we’re back together,” I said.
“Whatever you say, Ali-gator.”
The pressure escalated, almost unbearable, yet not enough—not enough, must have more—as his hands roamed over me, kneading my breasts, doing things to the centers...such thrilling things. With all the different emotions still rampaging through me, my skin became more sensitive, my blood all the hotter; my nerve endings hummed. I loved it. I hated it.
I loved him. Had to tell him. Couldn’t tell him. I had to stop this, but I wanted more. So much more. Desperate for as much skin-to-skin contact as I could get, I slid my hands under his shirt and scoured my nails over the ridges of his spine. He hissed in a breath.
“I love it when you touch me,” he said.
I did it again, and the kiss spun out of control, until we were nipping at each other, and he was pulling at my clothes, and I was pulling at his, and oh, this was going to happen, wasn’t it? Here and now, outside, in the cold. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left, so nothing would stop me from stealing this moment.
“O-kay. I should have guessed this was why you both took off so unexpectedly.”
Nothing except Frosty.
Dang it! I was so sick of interruptions!
Cole sprang away from me, assuming a battle-ready position.
Frosty rolled his shoulders, hard and intractable, and just as ready. “Don’t bother trying to get rid of me. I’m not leaving without Ali. Nana is worried.”
“Fine. But you will turn around,” Cole snapped.
Though he looked as if he wanted to protest, Frosty obeyed.
My cheeks burned, and my heart pounded as I sat up. Cole helped me right my disheveled clothing before righting his own. Our gazes locked for a long, strained moment, and we both knew there were a million things we needed to say, but couldn’t. Not now.
Later, he mouthed, hooking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I should tell him no again, that this was it, the end. I might be dangerous to his health, but he was dangerous to my self-control. Instead, I found myself nodding.
Cole kept his arm around me while we walked back to the house.
“So, listen, Ali,” Frosty said. “I know I haven’t been your biggest fan lately, and I’m sorry. I like you, I do, and I know you’re going through something tough right now, but I saw what you did to Cole and I imagined you doing it to Kat. I can’t let you do it to Kat,” he said raggedly. “She isn’t strong enough to survive.”
“I understand,” I replied. “I’ve been so careful around her. If ever I feel even the slightest urge come upon me, I leave her and dose up on the antidote. I don’t want to see her hurt, either.”
His nod was stiff, but it was a start.
*
“Ali, honey.”
Nana’s voice pulled me from a deep sleep.
“I’m headed to the grocery. Is there anything you need?”
“What time is it?” I asked on a moan.