Gavin stayed the night, as promised. But then, so did Cole.
Cole took the couch, and Gavin made a pallet on the floor. I tossed and turned, knowing they were both out there, so close. Gavin, perhaps watching over me; Cole, definitely watching over Gavin. Testosterone charged the air.
I couldn’t sneak out to meet Dr. Bendari—even though I’d promised I wouldn’t renege on him again. The boys would catch me. All I could do was lie in bed and think.
Was Gavin the spy?
Was Veronica, via someone else?
Were they working together?
I...didn’t think so. At least, when I really thought about it, I still believed in Gavin’s innocence.
Was I right about him? Could I trust myself with this, when I couldn’t trust myself with anything else?
You had better. You scolded Cole for not trusting you.
True.
Okay, so I’d take my own advice, no muss, no fuss. I would believe in Gavin.
That left Veronica. She had to be working with the spy. And, sure, there was a good chance my jealousy was coloring my perception of her. But what if it wasn’t?
How were we going to find out the truth? It was too late for me to try and be friends with her and learn more about her. That ship had sailed, and the storm had already beaten us down, left us adrift. I wouldn’t be able to fake a change of heart. No matter what I did, she would never believe me.
Cole would have to feel her out—or up. Would he decide to continue his romance with her? Maybe. Just how far would he allow himself to go with her? Exactly what would he have to do to soften her enough to catch her in the act?
A few kisses? A few caresses?
Sex?
I had no right to feel hurt by the thought of Veronica and him getting together again. No matter the reason. I had no right to be upset. And we desperately needed answers. But...
Like every time before, I was hurt. I was upset.
I forced myself to think about something else. Something less painful. Like Z.A. I snorted. In what world was the creature trying to take over my body a safer topic?
Simple. Mine.
Did she have any weaknesses?
I couldn’t think of one.
By the time the sun rose, my nerves were frayed. I lumbered out of bed, showered and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that read Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be a Kat Then Always Be a Kat. A housewarming gift from, surprise, surprise, Kat.
In the living room, I discovered the blankets Gavin and Cole had used were folded, and the couch cushions were pushed back into place. Both boys were gone, and neither had left a note.
Had Cole rushed off to see Veronica?
Biting the inside of my cheek, I stomped into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Nana said, having just finished off an egg sandwich.
“Morning.”
“I hope you’re hungry. Cole did all of this, and he made you a plate before he left.” Nana slid a massive pile of scrambled eggs, bacon and biscuits in my direction. “He told me to tell you to eat every crumb or else. Oh, and he also left you a note.”
She handed me a folded piece of paper.
Don’t give up on me the way I gave up on you. Please. Somehow I’ll find a way to make it up to you.
X Cole
Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
Did I want him to say what I thought he was saying?
I would have asked him, but he never made it to school. Where was he? What was he doing?
As the day eked by, I thought about calling him, then decided against it. Thought about texting him, then decided against it. I was a mess of uncertainty by the time Kat dropped me off at home.