I jump when I feel his hand slide around my stomach and his lips rest on my shoulder. ‘Let me.’ he whispers, taking the sponge and turning me around. He kneels in front of me and takes my foot, resting it on his thigh, before starting to sweep the soapy sponge up my leg.
His frown line is nowhere to be seen. He looks content, peaceful and relaxed, just how I like him to be, and it’s because he’s looking after me again. ‘Where have you been since Monday?’ I ask as I watch him closely. He doesn’t tense or flick me cautious eyes, he just continues slowly washing me as the water beats down around us.
‘In hell.’ he answers softly. ‘You left me, Ava.’ He doesn’t look at me, and he’s not using an accusing tone, but I know he’s pointing out that I broke my promise.
‘Where were you?’ I push, dropping my foot back to the shower floor and lifting my other when he taps my ankle.
‘I was trying to give you space. I realise how I am with you, Ava, and I wish I could stop myself, I really do. But I can’t.’
He still hasn’t answered me. I know all of that. ‘Where were you, Jesse?’
‘Following you.’ he whispers. ‘Everywhere.’
‘For four whole days?’ I blurt.
He looks up at me and stops with the sponge sweeps. ‘My only comfort was seeing how lost you were, too.’ He reaches up and takes my hand, pulling me down to him so I’m kneeling, too, mirroring him. He pushes my wet hair from my face and leans in to softly kiss my lips. ‘We’re not conventional, baby. But we’re special. What we have is really special. You belong to me, and I belong to you. It just is. It’s not natural for us to be apart, Ava.’
‘We drive each other crazy. It’s not healthy.’
‘Not healthy would be my life without you in it.’ He encourages me up onto his lap and links my arms around his neck before circling my waist with his big hands. ‘This is where you’re supposed to be.’ He squeezes my waist to re-enforce his point. ‘Right here, always with me. Don’t ever kiss another man again, Ava. They’ll be locking me away for a long time.’
I realise my stupidity. I reach up and caress his jaw. There’s no bruising or marks. ‘You need to stop with the crazy shit.’ My anger has completely disintegrated, and I know why. It’s because of how much I know he loves me, but does that excuse his behaviour? He seems to snap straight out of self-destruction mode as soon as he has hold of me and I’m doing as I’m told. I can’t pretend that he doesn’t frustrate me, stress me out or make me wonder sometimes what the hell I’m setting myself up for, but this side of him, the incredible loving affection, the doting side of him, almost supersedes all of his confusing, neurotic ways, which swiftly reminds me that I’m still pregnant. And Jesse thinks I’m not.
He clenches my cheeks and pushes his lips to mine. ‘And you need to stop with the defiant shit.’ He’s grinning around my lips.
‘Never.’ I soak him right up, there in the soaking shower.
Chapter 11
We spend most of Saturday making friends. I’ve relished in the sleepy sex, and I’ve disagreed with almost everything Jesse has said, just to get some sense f**ked into me. I then swiftly forgot what I’d agreed to during the sense f**king, instigating a reminder f**k. We had an alfresco f**k right after we ate on the terrace, followed by a retribution f**k when Jesse decided that breaking my promise warranted one. But I know he just wanted me in handcuffs and, quite frankly, I deserved it. I’ve been f**ked in every way, shape and form, and I’ve loved every single second of it, even if I am a little sore now. I’m back to relaxing sweetly on Central Jesse Cloud Nine. With the absence of a pregnancy, he’s back to taking me how and when he wants and any which way, too. Yesterday has more than made up for my lack of dominant Jesse in recent weeks. I couldn’t be happier. But there is really no lack of a pregnancy.
Kate checked in, and I’m sure I heard my brother in the background, but she denied it, proceeding to ask me if Jesse and I had made friends. Yes. She also asked if I’d told Jesse that I’m still pregnant. No. After a full day of being indulged in him and having things completely back to normal, just how they should be, I’m sure this is the right decision.
‘Are you going to lie there all day, or are you getting dressed so we can shoot to The Manor?’ He stands in the bathroom doorway gloriously naked, rubbing a towel over his dark blonde locks.
I push myself up and crawl to the bottom of the bed, and then flop back down on my front, propping myself up on my elbows and resting my chin in my palm. I know what I’m doing, and so does he by the look in his twinkling greens. Not that I don’t want to go to The Manor. With the absence of a certain whip wielding witch, Jesse’s country estate is a far more pleasant place to be.
‘I might.’ My voice is inviting and low, just how I intended it to be. ‘You’re hard.’ I nod at his groin and flick my eyes back up to him, struggling to hold back my grin. I bite my lip and watch him closely.