Oh shit, indeed. I clamp my lips together for fear of laughing and pissing him off further.
‘Oh no, that’s me grounded for a month.’ I titter in a low voice for only Kate to hear. She spits all over the place as she tries to suppress her laugh, and I lose the battle to restrain mine.
We both sit on the floor of the bar like a pair of drunken hyenas, whilst the colour in Jesse’s face gets redder by the second. Kate laughs harder when Sam rocks up next to Jesse, rolling his eyes. Why can’t my man give me an eye roll, instead of standing there looking like he’s going to self-combust? I’m not even that drunk. My current location is only courtesy of my delinquent best friend leading me astray.
A burly, skin head bouncer approaches. He looks evil. I nudge Kate with my elbow to signal our imminent ejection from the bar. ‘Kate, if they don’t allow us in for lunch anymore, then I’ll be really pissed.’ I love Baroque’s BLT sandwich.
‘You’re already pissed.’ she snorts, making another attempt to get up, using me as a prop.
‘Jesse, sort your woman out.’ The bouncer drawls, clasping Jesse’s hand in greeting.
‘Oh, don’t worry,’ He hits me with his most menacing glare. ‘She’ll be sorted out. Thanks for the call, Jay.’
What?
‘Come on, you pest.’ Sam jibes Kate, hoisting her up.
She throws her arms around his neck, giggling in his face. ‘Take me to bed, Samuel. You can tie me up again.’ She flops against him like a beanbag.
I watch as Sam restrains his laughter at Kate’s performance, but he’s not suppressing the chuckles because he’s mad with Kate. Oh no, he’s keeping a lid on it because of Jesse. He’s trampling on my night again. I wasn’t expecting to see him until eight in the morning, so he would never have known that I got myself a little pissed. And what’s all this business with the bouncer calling him?
I return my tipsy gaze to Mr Unreasonable, pulling my best hacked off face. His eyes are bulging. I follow his glare down at the ultimate taboo dress. Oh dear, I’ve contravened on two orders. I probably really will be grounded. I start giggling again.
‘Up, now.’ he snarls through a ticking jaw.
‘Oh, lighten up, you bore!’ I chide, more confidently than I’m feeling. I put my hand out to him for some help, knowing he won’t leave me to struggle.
He sighs, shaking his head in a demonstration to his exasperation, before reaching down to pull me up. His eyes widen further when he gets the full frontal impact of the taboo dress. I start giggling again. It’ll probably need a trip to the dry cleaners now, after I’ve rolled around on the dirty bar floor.
I calm myself down. ‘Are you mad at me?’ I look up at him in my tipsy state, batting my eyelashes as I grip the front of his grey suit. Has he not been home at all today?
‘Crazy mad, Ava.’ he says threateningly, grabbing my elbow and leading me out of the bar. I spot the bouncer who stitched me up and narrow my eyes on him when I’m guided past. He claps hands with Jesse, giving me a disapproving head shake.
Oh, fuck off!
We find Sam helping Kate into the front seat of his Porsche, holding the top of her head as he lowers her in. She’s still giggling. It sets me off again.
‘Samuel, tonight is your lucky night!’ she sings as Sam shuts her in. I might me tipsy, but I know there’ll be no action in Kate’s bedroom tonight.
Jesse and Sam exchange goodbyes, Jesse keeping a firm grip of my elbow.
‘See ya, chick.’ Sam pecks my cheek, flashing me a quick private grin. I acknowledge it with my own, while concentrating hard on not laughing and pissing off my unreasonable man any more than necessary.