Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans (Rose Gardner, #6)

“That baby’s a genius already.”


I parked the truck in front of the Emporium, which was located a couple of blocks north of the town square. The business had possessed the same name for years, but the owners were continually changing what it actually was. Previously it had been a drugstore and a bookstore, and it had also enjoyed a very brief run as a yoga studio.

“Are you sure it’s open?” Neely Kate asked as we walked to the door. “This parking lot is like a ghost town.”

“See,” I pointed to an old rusty car in the parking lot with its bumper partially hanging off. “There’s someone here.”

“Are you sure it’s not there as a decoration?”

If it was, they sure could use some help from RBW Landscaping, but when I opened the door, a scruffy-looking guy was sitting at a table for two, nursing a paper cup. “Look over there,” I whispered over my shoulder. “There’s a customer.”

“Are you sure that’s not a homeless man drinking a cup of coffee?”

I scowled. “He’s not a homeless man. Everybody knows the Baptist church finds vagrants like a metal detector finds coins. They scoop them up and take them to their center.”

“Concentration camp,” she muttered.

I shot her an exasperated stare. She was really in a humdinger of a mood this afternoon, but I guessed she deserved to wallow for a while. I saw another car pull into the parking lot and pointed to it. “Look there. Another customer. You do what you want, but we’re already here, so I’m getting something.”

Leaving her in the middle of the shop, I moved to the counter and studied the menu board on the wall, feeling a sudden urge for coffee. “I’d like a decaf mocha,” I told the older woman behind the counter.

“Do you want whipped cream?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m not sure if we have any whipped cream,” she mumbled, lowering the glasses perched on her nose. “I’ll have to check with Fred.” Then she walked into a back room.

“I don’t need whipped cream!” I called after her, but I figured she didn’t hear me since she kept going.

I realized that Neely Kate wasn’t standing next to me, so I spun around to see if she was going to order something. Which was when I saw who was walking through the open door.

“Why hello, Rose,” Hilary said in a syrupy sweet voice. “You look lovely today.”

While I wasn’t in my stained jeans and work coat, I knew I didn’t look exceptional. But at least I was wearing makeup and my hair wasn’t in its usual ponytail. I figured I must not look too bad if the manager of an exotic dance club had taken such a shine to me. But Hilary was standing there in a cream-colored skirt and jacket with a pale blue silk blouse underneath. She looked like she’d just walked out of a fashion magazine. I had no doubt that she’d intended her “compliment” as an insult.

The sight of her lit a fire in my belly, and her two-faced behavior only stoked it. I wanted to tell this woman off. She’d purposely trapped Joe and used a poor innocent baby to do it. She was lower than pond scum, but whether I liked it or not, she was going to be the mother of Joe’s baby—a poor defenseless baby that was going to need all the help it could get. If I was going to be Joe’s friend, I needed to put a stop to this continued animosity between Hilary and me. “Thank you,” I forced myself to say. “You’re looking really good considering your . . . condition. How are you feeling?”

Her forced smile grew bigger. “Isn’t that a sweet thing for you to say? I’ve had some queasiness off and on, but I’ve felt well for the most part. Which is surprising when you think about what a rabble-rouser Joe is. You’d think his baby would be stirring up trouble right from the start.”

I nodded. “Well, that’s good.” I wanted to point out that her baby was already stirring up trouble, but I didn’t want to open that can of worms.

We stood in awkward silence for a few seconds. I wasn’t sure what else to say to her. I couldn’t stand there and pretend I wanted to talk to her. This new civility tactic was going to take some getting used to.

For once, Neely Kate seemed to be at a loss for words. She’d stood there right along, gaping in silence like she’d just undergone a lobotomy. But then she’d had a pretty rough day.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the counter. “Come on, Neely Kate. Let’s get Ronnie Jr. his ice cream.”

She let me drag her several steps forward while she kept her eyes fixed on Joe’s ex-girlfriend.

“You’re looking much better, Neely Kate,” Hilary said, following us. “I know that you had a bad run with morning sickness.”

Neely Kate stiffened, and I leaned into her ear. “Try to be nice.”

“Why?” she growled.

If Hilary heard us, she did a good job of ignoring it. “When’s your due date?”

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