The Right Bride

Chapter Twenty-Three


JACK BROUGHT HER back to George’s almost two weeks ago. She thought it would be the end of seeing Cameron. She would miss Emma, but confusing the child by allowing her to think there was any chance she’d be the mother she wanted was wrong. Shelly was going to be her mother, the end.

If only that was the end of the story, Marti thought sadly. Instead, Cameron found all kinds of ways for her to be with Emma, and therefore with him in most cases. He made it seem like he needed her help with Emma, but he was using it as an excuse to see her. She knew and went along with it anyway because she was as hungry to see him as he was to see her. She saw it in the way he looked at her, in the way his deep voice filled with emotion when he called to ask her for a favor. It’s for Emma, he’d say. Every time, Marti went along with it, only to feel her heart break a little more each time she saw Cameron, so close and always out of her reach.

He’d come to dinner with George almost every other day. She knew he wanted to spend as much time with George as possible.

George’s health steadily deteriorated and his son and daughter came by the house often, though not as much as Cameron and Emma. George’s son made her uncle look like a saint. He constantly made snide comments about her being George’s mistress and using him to get his money. Whenever they were at the house, she usually disappeared upstairs to the room she’d turned into her studio.

Since she couldn’t sleep for thinking about Cameron and Emma, she spent many hours working late into the night fulfilling her publisher’s request for the books she’d promised to finish. Her grandmother would be happy to know she was painting again. She’d completed several canvases and two more books for her publisher. She was ahead in work and had enjoyed the creative outlet.

Her back ached from standing at the easel for several hours when her cell phone rang. Who would call her after two in the morning?

“Hello.”

“You don’t sound like you’re sleeping.”

“Cameron?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I’m working.”

“Working?”

“Contrary to the fact that you think I’m at your beck and call, I do have a job.”

“I never really thought about it. You’re always there when I need you.”

“I’ve noticed. Why are you calling me so late?”

“I need your help.”

“Nothing new there,” she said resigned, because she wouldn’t say no. She couldn’t. She wondered what a therapist would say about her sadistic behavior. Self-torture was not a good thing.

“What’s up?”

“Emma is sick, and I’m in Japan. Jimmy has been with her all day, but now he’s not feeling too hot, and he needs someone to relieve him. Emma’s upset and crying. She can’t sleep. She wants me home, but I can’t get there anytime soon. I’m in a bind. If she can’t have me, she wants you.”

“Why don’t you call Shelly and have her go and be with Emma?”

She already knew why. He didn’t trust Shelly with Emma and Emma didn’t want Shelly with her. She wanted him to admit it.

“You know why, and it sucks, and I suck, this whole thing sucks. I’m in Japan until Wednesday afternoon at the earliest. Can you please go and take care of Emma? I’d ask Elizabeth, but she has her daughter, and I don’t want them getting sick. Jack and Jenna went back to Colorado a week ago, so I only have you.”

I only have you. Indeed.

“I’m holding onto my temper, Cameron. Choose your words more carefully.”

He knew what she meant. He had her doing everything he asked for him and he gave her nothing but grief in return.

“One of these days, I’ll figure out a way to make things right with you. I promise you that. Right now, I need you.” I need you in so many ways.

“The only way to make this right is for you to let me go. Let me go, Cameron. I just can’t bear to watch you with her anymore.”

“I can’t. Please don’t ask me to. You’re my every thought, my every hope, and my every dream. Seeing you and watching you with Emma is all I can ever have. It’s the only thing that makes this whole damn mess bearable. I can’t give that up. I can’t give you up.”

“It’s all you choose to have with me,” she said, letting some of her anger out.

“This is the same conversation we’ve had before. I can’t abandon the baby. I’ve watched Emma grow up without her mother. She never even saw Emma, she was so out of it during the delivery. She only lasted a few moments after Emma came into the world. I grew up without a father. I had George, but it isn’t the same. I want this baby to have a mother and a father, and I have a chance to make it happen.”

The baby would have a mother and a father without Cameron marrying Shelly. She knew it and he knew it, but he refused to budge on the issue. He wanted his baby to have everything Emma didn’t. Without love between Shelly and Cameron, the baby still wouldn’t have what Cameron dreamed, and the baby and Emma would be the ones to pay the highest price.

She let the subject drop. She couldn’t convince him to be with her. If she kept after him, she’d just sound desperate and pathetic.

“Call Jimmy. Tell him I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

He let the change of subject pass. No point talking about it anymore. He wouldn’t abandon his baby to a life of being shuffled back and forth between parents. He’d make a real home for Shelly, Emma, the baby, and him, starting on the day he married her. On that day, he’d give up Marti. Until then, he would take every opportunity to spend time with her. Hopefully, he’d gather enough memories of her to last him a lifetime. He only hoped Emma would understand when Marti was gone. He didn’t want to hurt Emma, but he couldn’t marry Shelly and keep Marti in his life. He knew that now.

His chest went tight and he couldn’t breathe through the raw ache.

“What were you working on? What do you do for a living?”

“Cameron, it’s after two in the morning, I have to get to the city to be with Emma, and you want to play twenty questions with me about my job? Go work, go sleep, go do whatever you’re supposed to be doing, besides bugging me.”

“I like it when you’re grumpy. You sound so disgruntled. It’s cute. I also noticed you hate answering questions about yourself.”

“I just don’t see the point. In little more than three weeks, you’ll have yourself a wife and it won’t matter who I am or ever was to you.”

“That’s not true, Marti.” Anger filled his voice. How could she think she meant so little to him? “It matters. It matters now, and it will matter then.”

“I’ll see you Wednesday when you get back. If Jimmy isn’t feeling well, tell him I’ll stay with Emma until you get home.”

“He’ll appreciate it. Thank you. I know I have no right to call and ask you for anything. I’ve done it a hundred times over the last two weeks just so I’d have an excuse to see you. I don’t deserve you.”

“Sometimes I feel the same way about you.”

The sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. He laughed. It was ironic. He didn’t deserve to have someone as special as Marti in his life. Someone he kept taking and taking from. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated her. He knew it, but couldn’t help himself.

“I’ll see you Wednesday.” More softly, he added, “I miss you.”

Marti hung up, but was reluctant to release the phone. Just like she was reluctant to release Cameron. She was holding onto him as hard as he was holding on to her.