The Return of the Sheikh

Nine

He had arrived at this first of two monumental moments with a certain confidence, and he had not managed that alone. Unbeknownst to Madison, he had every intention of taking her advice and speaking from the heart. If only he had been able to do that this morning. The one word he had not been able to say—had never said to any woman—had stalled on his lips. Committing to that emotion would only complicate matters more. She was bound to leave, and he was bound to duty as the leader of his country.

“They’re ready for you, Emir,” Deeb said as he opened the doors to the veranda.

“Good luck, Your Highness,” Madison said from behind him.

Since their last conversation that morning, a certain formality had formed between them. Yet he could not consider that now, nor did he dare look at her and meet the sadness in her eyes. “Thank you,” he said as he left her to deliver the most important speech of his life.

He moved onto the balcony containing enough guards to populate a military installation. After taking a few moments to gather his thoughts, he stepped behind the podium, and the cameras began to flash. Zain surveyed the masses spread out on the grounds as far as the eye could see. Among those in the immediate vicinity, he spotted a few familiar faces—Maysa, Malik and his family, as well as several childhood friends—and that served to further bolster his self-assurance. Many of the others looked both eager and somewhat suspicious, most likely because they were waiting for him to fail. He refused to fail.

He pulled the pages containing the prepared speech, then on afterthought, set them aside. He also ignored the teleprompter that Madison insisted he have so he wouldn’t falter. If his words did not come out perfectly, so be it. His country would then know he was not perfect, and that suited him fine. He had his flaws, but he had the best of intentions. Now he had to convince the country of that.

After adjusting the microphone, Zain began to speak, immediately silencing the restless crowd. He began with outlining his water conservation plan, which garnered minor applause. He continued by insisting that education was the key to prosperity, and he vowed to fund school improvements. He went on to talk about the importance of family, his love for their country and his commitment to its people. He spoke about his father in respectful terms, highlighting all that the former king had accomplished during his forty-year reign, and that he would proudly serve by his example. That earned him a roar from the crowd and shouts of approval. Perhaps he had finally arrived.

Yet as he remained to acknowledge their support, he could not help but wish Madison was at his side. Wish that he had the means to change tradition and choose his bride by virtue of her attributes, not her dowry. But that would present the possibility of rejection not only by the council, but also the traditionalists who expected him to marry one of their own. And even if he could successfully lobby for that change, would he subject Madison to this life? Would he risk destroying her sense of independence in exchange for assuming the role of his queen? A role that had left some women emotionally broken, including his own mother. He then recalled when Madison had said she would never give up her life for any man, and he could not in good conscience ask that of her, even if the thought of letting her go sickened him.

When he felt the tap on his shoulder, he turned to find Deeb, not Madison, as he had hoped. “The press is waiting in the conference room, Emir.”

One hurdle jumped, yet another awaited him—answering intrusive questions. “I will be along shortly.” First, he planned to seek Madison’s approval, a move he would have never made before her, and not because he lacked respect for women. Because he had been that inflexible. She had changed him more than he realized. More than any woman had, even Genevieve. Madison had served as his touchstone for the past month and, in many ways, had given him the strength to survive the chaos. Her opinion mattered to him. She mattered to him, much more than she should.

With a final wave, Zain returned to the study to find Madison seated across the room in front of the corner television, watching the international analysis of his address. He approached the chair and laid a hand on her shoulder to garner her attention. “Did Deeb interpret for you?”

When her frame went rigid, he removed his hand. “Yes, Deeb translated, and you did a remarkable job. For the most part.”

When he moved between her and the TV to ask what she hadn’t liked, he noticed she did not look well. Her skin was pale and a light sheen of perspiration covered her forehead. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine,” she said as she abruptly stood. “It’s a little warm in here.”

When she swayed, he clasped her arm to steady her. “You should sit down again.”

She tugged out of his grasp. “I said I am perfectly fine, Your Highness. I’m just going to…”

Her eyes suddenly closed, her lips parted slightly, and as she began to fall, Zain caught her in his arms and carried her to the sofa. He had never felt such concern, such fear and such anger over his staff’s failure to immediately act.

He turned his ire on Deeb. “Do not stand there like an imbecile. Summon Dr. Barad. Now!”

*

Madison came awake slowly, feeling somewhat confused and disoriented. She had no idea how she’d ended up on Zain’s office couch, although she did recall being dizzy and starting to free-fall. After that, nothing but a big, black void.

When she raised her head from the sofa’s arm, an unfamiliar female voice said, “Stay still for a few more moments, Ms. Foster.”

The owner of that voice finally came into focus—an exotic woman with dark almond-shaped eyes and long brown hair pulled back into a braid. “Who are you?” Madison asked in a sandpaper voice.

“Maysa Barad.” She lifted a stethoscope from a black bag set on the coffee table. “I’m a local physician and friend of the family.”

She was also the woman Zain had visited a few weeks ago, and darn if she wasn’t gorgeous. “Where’s Zain?” she asked, not caring if she hadn’t used the proper address.

“He left and took the goons with him after I told him I couldn’t do a proper examination with an audience.”

Why not? She’d done a swan dive in front of one. “Any idea what happened to me, Dr. Barad?”

“You fainted. And please, call me Maysa.” She pressed the metal cylinder against Madison’s chest, listened for a few minutes and then pulled the stems from her ears. “It’s definitely not your heart.”

She wouldn’t be surprised if it was, considering it was close to shattering. “That’s good to know.”

“Your blood pressure’s stable, as well. I took it when you were passed out.”

“Just wish I knew why I passed out.”

“Are you eating well and getting enough rest?”

She’d been eating like a pig at a trough. “Yes on the eating, not so much on the rest. It’s been fairly stressful around here.” She didn’t dare mention that Zain had been the primary cause of her lack of sleep.

Maysa dropped the stethoscope back in the bag and sent her a serious look. “When was your last menstrual cycle?”

An odd question since she’d never passed out from a period. “Honestly, I’m not sure, because they’re not regular. I was born with only one ovary, and my doctor isn’t convinced it functions all that well.”

“Then you’ve been diagnosed as infertile?”

This was the complicated part. “Not exactly. I have been told that my chances of getting pregnant without medical assistance are remote and, even then, not guaranteed.”

“How long ago was this?”

Madison had to think hard on that one, when all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. “I had an ultrasound ten years ago, but I always go for my annual checkups.”

“Then you have no way of knowing for certain if perhaps your ovary is in fact functioning.”

“I suppose that’s accurate.”

“Have your breasts been tender?”

Come to think of it, they had. Then again, they were Zain’s favorite toys of late. “Maybe a little, but they get that way right before my period.”

“That leads to my next question. Have you had sexual relations in the past month?”

She’d had sexual relations in the past few hours. “Why is that important?”

“Because your symptoms indicate you could be pregnant, provided you have been exposed.”

Had she ever, and often. But pregnant? No way. “I’m really not sure how to answer that.”

Maysa laid a gentle hand on her arm. “I promise you that anything you tell me will be held in the strictest of confidence. We also adhere to doctor-patient privilege in this country.”

As long as Madison didn’t have to reveal who she’d been having relations with, she might as well admit it. “Yes, I have been exposed, but I truly can’t imagine that I could be pregnant.”

“There is one way to find out,” she said. “I’ll have a pregnancy test sent over in the morning.”

Madison felt another faint coming on. “Can you make sure to be discreet?”

“I will.” Maysa rose from the sofa and smiled down on her. “In the meantime, I want you to rest here awhile longer, and then retire to your room for the remainder of the evening. If you have any more spells, don’t hesitate to have Zain call me.”

She mentally nixed that suggestion. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

“Also, even if the test is negative, you should stop by my office and I’ll draw some blood to be more certain. It could be you’ve eaten some tainted food.”

Lovely. She hated needles about as much as she hated being viewed as fragile. “I’ll let you know as soon as I know.”

Maysa reached the door, paused with her hand on the knob and then faced Madison again. “You might want to forewarn the father.”

She couldn’t even consider telling Zain now. “Believe me, he wouldn’t want to be bothered.”

Maysa sent her a knowing smile. “He might surprise you.”

With that, the doctor left, and Madison tipped her head back on the sofa and stared at the ornate chandelier on the ceiling. She never dreamed she would prefer food poisoning over pregnancy, but considering the poor timing, and the circumstance, a baby was the last thing she needed. Definitely the last thing Zain needed.

Of course, she was leaping to large conclusions without good cause. She’d had unprotected sex with Jay for five years, and that had never resulted in a bun in her oven. Of course, Jay hadn’t owned a magic fertility mountain, either.

Ridiculous. All of it. She didn’t know why she’d fainted, but she highly doubted pregnancy had anything to do with it.

*

The day had started off like any other day. Madison had awakened that morning after sleeping almost sixteen hours straight, taken a shower, picked out her clothes—and peed on a stick. Now it had suddenly become a day like no other.

She stared at the positive results for a good ten minutes before it finally began to sink in. She was going to have a baby. Zain’s baby. A baby she’d always secretly wanted but convinced herself she would never have.

Myriad thoughts swarmed in her head, followed by one important question. How was she going to tell Zain? More important, should she even tell Zain?

He did have a right to know, but he also had the upcoming coronation hanging over his head. He had an entire country counting on him, too. A country that had finally begun to accept him. A scandal—any scandal—could ruin everything.

Right then she wanted to crawl back under the covers and cry the day away, as well as weigh her options. But when someone knocked on the door, and if it happened to be Zain, she might be forced to make a snap decision.

She tightened the sash on her robe, secured her damp hair at her nape, convened her courage and opened the door.

“Good morning, cara,” Elena said as she breezed into the room, a tray in her hands and something white tucked beneath her arm.

After taking one whiff of the food, Madison began to feel queasy. “Thanks, but my appetite isn’t up to par.”

Elena faced her with concern. “Are you still not feeling well?”

She dropped down on the edge of the bed. “I’m still a little weak.”

“Then I will give strict orders you are not to be disturbed. But you need to eat something to regain your strength. Perhaps I should bring you some tea.”

“No,” she belted out. “I mean, schnapps probably wouldn’t be good for an upset stomach.” Definitely not good for a developing baby.

“I would bring you ginger tea to help with the nausea.” She removed the cloth from beneath her arm and held it up. “I have also brought you fresh towels should you decided to take a long bath later.”

“I appreciate that,” she said, before it suddenly dawned on her Elena was heading into the bathroom, and the blasted test was still on the counter.

She could try to distract her. She could tackle her. Or she could accept that it was already too late, because the minute Elena came back into the room, she could tell the secret was out by the look on the woman’s face.

“I see you have confirmed you are with child,” Elena said in a remarkable matter-of-fact tone.

“Looks to be that way, but it’s possible to have a false positive reading.” Her last hope, and a remote one at that.

Elena looked altogether skeptical. “It is possible, but not probable when a Mehdi and a mountain are involved.”

She’d drink to that, if she could drink. “You’re making a huge assumption. How do you know I didn’t have a torrid night with the chef?” Dumb, Madison, really dumb.

“The chef is nearing seventy years of age, and he can barely stand. I also knew from the beginning you would not be able to resist Prince Zain, and he would not be able to resist you.”

Madison couldn’t prevent the waterworks from turning on again. “I swear I never meant for this to happen,” she said as she furiously swiped at the tears. “I have never crossed professional lines and I have never been so weak. I also never believed I’d be able to conceive a child.”

Elena perched on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “You have never met a man like Prince Zain.”

That wasn’t even up for debate. “He is one in a million. An enigma and complex and very persuasive.”

“He is his father in that respect.”

Madison had the strongest feeling there could be a personal story behind that comment. She didn’t have the strength to delve into more high drama. “And tomorrow, he’s going to replace his father. He doesn’t need this complication.”

“He does need to see that you are all right. He has been so consumed with that need, he has taken to ordering everyone around like a petulant child.”

That was news to her. She figured he’d gotten so caught up in the precoronation activities, she’d been the last thing on his mind. “Then why hasn’t he stopped by?”

“Because Dr. Barad ordered him to stay away from you for at least twenty-four hours.”

She experienced a measure of satisfaction that he was concerned, but she also feared his reaction when she lowered the baby boom. If she decided to make the revelation.

“Have you given any thought to when you are going to tell him?” Elena asked, as if she’d channeled her concerns.

That’s all she’d been thinking about. “I have no idea. I’m not even sure I should tell him.” She held her breath and waited for a lecture on the virtues of honesty.

“Some would say it would be wrong to withhold such important information from Prince Zain,” Elena began. “But I know the seriousness of the people’s expectations when it comes to their ruler. You could be viewed as an outsider and unworthy of the king. You could be shunned, and so could your child. And Prince Zain’s standing could forever be tarnished beyond repair.”

She knew all those things, but that didn’t make it easier to hear them. “And that’s my dilemma, Elena. I wish I were better emotionally equipped to handle it, but I’m not. I’m worried that if I do tell him, he’ll be angry and he’ll send me immediately packing.” That would solve her problem, but it would hurt to the core.

Elena squeezed her hand. “When the rumors surfaced about the paternity issues involving the Prince Zain and the model, I knew they were not true. He would never abandon his child, nor would he abandon the woman he loves with all his heart.”

“He’s never said he loves me, Elena.” But then she had never told him, either.

“He is like any other man, afraid to say the word for fear he will swallow his tongue and never speak again, among other things.”

They shared in a brief laugh before the seriousness of the situation settled over Madison again. “If what you say is true, then I would be asking him to choose between me and his child, and his country. And if he does choose us, he might regret that decision the rest of his life, and in turn resent me.”

“That is possible.”

Madison fought back another onslaught of tears. “Please tell me what to do, Elena.”

“Only you can decide, cara. And you must ask yourself two important questions. Are you strong enough to stay, if that is what he wants from you, and do you love him enough to let him go if you decide not to ask that of him?”

She did love him enough to choose the latter. She couldn’t ask him to choose and risk he’d hate her for it. She’d rather part as friends, and live on a lifetime of memories. As far as what she would tell their child, she’d have to figure that out later when she had a clearer head and a less heavy heart.

Elena brushed a kiss across Madison’s cheek before she stood. “Whatever you decide, please know I believe you are more than worthy of Prince Zain’s love. If the situation were different, I would welcome you as the daughter I was never fortunate enough to have.”

Madison came to her feet and gave her a long hug. “And I would be proud to be your daughter-in-law, Elena.” If things were different, which they weren’t. “I can’t thank you enough for you advice and support.”

“You are welcome, cara,” she said with a kind smile. “And should you be in need of a governess after the baby’s birth, please keep me in mind. I would be happy to raise another Mehdi son or daughter.”

She appreciated the offer, though she couldn’t imagine Elena ever leaving this place. “I will definitely keep it in mind.”

“And I will be praying for a bright and happy future for you both.”

After Madison saw Elena out, it became all too clear what she had to do. She crossed the room, picked up the phone and pounded out Deeb’s extension. When he answered with his usual dry greeting, she dispensed with all pleasantries. “This is Madison Foster. Could you please reschedule my flight for first thing in the morning?”

A span of silence passed before he responded. “You do not wish to attend the coronation?”

She couldn’t very well tell the truth, so she handed him a partial lie. “I’m really disappointed I can’t attend, but I have a job offer and they want me to start immediately.”

“Should I inform the emir you’ve had a change in plans?”

“No. I’ll tell him.” Or not.

“As you wish.”

After she hung up, Madison curled up on the bed to take another nap. She needed more rest to regain her strength before she took the last step. A step that she didn’t want to take—the final goodbye to the man she loved.

*

When Zain opened the door and saw the sadness in Madison’s eyes, he knew why she had arrived unexpectedly in his quarters. She was not there only to wish him well, though she probably would. She was not there to spend one final night in his arms, though he wished she would. She was there to say her goodbyes.

“May I come in?” she asked, sounding unsure and unhappy.

He opened the door wide. “Please do.”

Once inside, they fell into an uncomfortable silence before she spoke again. “I went by your office first but Mr. Deeb said you’d retired early, so that’s why I’m here. I hope it’s okay.”

“Of course. You have been here before.”

“I know, but never through the front door.”

That brought about both their smiles, yet hers faded fast. “Come and sit with me awhile.” Stay with me forever. The thought arrived with the force of a grenade. A wish he could not fulfill.

After he cleared several documents from the sofa, Madison took a seat on the end, while he claimed the chair across from her. “You look much better than you did the last time I saw you. Are you feeling better?”

“Much better. I’ve had plenty of sleep.”

He could not say the same for himself. “Did Maysa determine why you fainted?”

“It could be a number of things, but all that matters now is I’m fine.”

She sounded less than confident, and that concerned him. “I am happy to hear that. I’ve been very worried about you since I had to catch you during your fall.”

“You caught me?” She both sounded and looked taken aback.

“I would never let you fall, Madison.” And he would never forget those moments of intense fear. “Do you not remember?”

She shook her head. “No. I just remember being dizzy, and then I woke up on the couch.”

“I was furious when Maysa demanded I leave you alone.” He still was.

“Elena told me you were not in the best of moods. I’m sure my little mishap, coupled with the upcoming ceremony, didn’t help. So are you nervous about tomorrow?”

No, but she was. He could tell by the way she folded the hem of her causal blue top back and forth. “I am ready for it to be over.” Though that meant they would be over, as well.

“I’m sure you are. But it’s the realization of your dreams, and that has to make you happy.”

Holding her would make him happy. Having her as a part of that dream would be the ultimate happiness. He felt he could do neither. “You should be happy to witness the fruits of your labor when I am officially crowned.”

Her gaze faltered. “I didn’t do that much, Zain.”

He would strongly disagree. “You managed to mold me into the king I was meant to be, and that was no small accomplishment.” She’d managed to steal his heart in the process.

She presented a sincere smile. “Yeah, you were a challenge at times. But I wouldn’t take a moment of it back.”

Nor would he, and he could not let another minute pass without being closer to her. He pushed off the chair and joined her on the sofa, much to her apparent dismay when she slid over as far as she could go.

“You need not be concerned,” he said. “I am not going to touch you unless you want me to do so.”

She sighed. “I would love for you to touch me, but that would only make it harder to leave you tonight.”

He took a chance and clasped her hand. “Then stay with me tonight. Better still, stay with me after the coronation.”

She pulled her hand from his grasp. “And what would my duties be, Zain? Your staff consultant, or your staff mistress?”

He experienced the resurgence of the anger he had harbored all day. “I am not my father. I have never viewed you as my mistress.”

“But that’s exactly what I would be when you choose your proper royal wife. Of course, you could send me on my way when that happens. And that would probably be best since I couldn’t stand the thought of some other woman in your bed.”

He could not stand the thought of any other woman in his bed aside from her. “I wish I could promise we could have an open relationship, but that is not possible. We would both suffer for it.”

“Then I guess we will just have to suffer through a permanent goodbye.”

When she came to her feet, Zain stood, as well. “I am asking you not to go, Madison. I am begging you to stay.”

She lowered her eyes. “What would be the point?”

He framed her face in his palms, forcing her to look at him. “Because I care for you, and I want your smile to be my last memory before you leave.”

When she laid her hands on his, he expected her to wrench them away. Fortunately, she did not. “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t do this. You’d realize this is tearing me up inside.”

“And you would realize it is killing me to say goodbye tonight. I promise I only want to hold you, and to know you are beside me in the morning on the most important day of my life.”

“You are asking so much from me, Zain. Too much from us.”

Desperation drove him to continue to plead his case. “I am asking you to give us this final night together.”

“But I’m not strong around you.”

When he saw the first sign of tears in her eyes, he tipped his forehead against hers. “You are strong, Madison, and you have given me strength when I have needed it most.” He pulled back and thumbed away the moisture from her cheek. “You said you trusted me before. Trust me now.”

“I’d keep you awake with my crying.”

“I will gladly provide my shoulder.”

He seemed to wait an eternity for her to speak again. “Do you promise not to steal the covers?”

His spirits rose at the sight of her smile. “I promise I will do my best.”

“Then I’ll stay.” She pointed at him. “You have to wear clothes, and you can’t try to seduce me.”

He held the power to do that, but her faith in him was paramount. “I will remain dressed, and I will be on my best behavior.” While battling the clothing constraints and his ever-present desire for her.

“Okay.” She hid a yawn behind her hand. “Then let’s get on with it before I pass out again.”

His worry returned. “Do you feel that you might faint?”

“No, but I might fall asleep on my feet.”

As she entered the bathroom, Zain retrieved a pair of unused pajama bottoms from the bureau and ignored the top. He had promised he would remain dressed, but he hadn’t said how dressed he would be.

In an effort to hide his bare chest, he climbed into bed, pushed the wall switch that controlled the overhead light and covered up to his chin. She soon emerged from the bath and snapped on the nightstand lamp to reveal she was wearing one of his shirts. Clearly she meant to torture him.

She stood by the bed, a hand on her hip and a frown on her face. “Are you wearing anything, or have you already gone back on your word?”

He reluctantly lifted the sheet. “I am covered from the waist down and I feel that is a good compromise. You know I tend to get warm at night.”

“Fine. Scoot over.”

After he complied, Madison slid onto the mattress and snapped off the light. When she remained on her side, away from him, normally he would fit himself to her back. Tonight, he felt compelled to ask her permission. “May I hold you?”

“Yes, you may,” she answered without looking at him.

He settled against her, slipped one arm beneath her and draped the other over her hip. The scent of her hair, the warmth of her body, sent him into immediate turmoil. After a while, when he heard the sound of her steady breathing, he began to relax. Knowing she was there with him, if only for tonight, provided the comfort he needed. His eyes grew heavy and he soon drifted off.

He had no idea how long he had been asleep when he was awakened by the feel of Madison’s soft lips on his neck.

Not knowing if her affection stemmed from a dream, Zain remained frozen from fear of making the wrong move. But when she whispered, “One more memory,” he knew she was fully awake.

She was already undressed, and she made sure he joined her in short order. With nothing between them but bare skin, they kissed for long moments, touched with abandon. And when those kisses and touches led to the natural conclusion, Madison took the lead, and he let her. She straddled his hips, rose above him and guided him inside her.

Zain acknowledged this was her means to maintain some control, by leading him into the depths of pleasure, and he gladly followed. He watched her face as she found her climax, and realized he had never seen her look so beautiful. Yet his own body demanded release, and it came, hard and fast.

When Madison stretched out on top of him, their bodies still joined, he rubbed her back gently. He had never felt so deeply for anyone, and he had never cherished her enough until that moment, knowing that she had given him this final, lasting gift of lovemaking. He wished they could suspend time and remain this way indefinitely, but that was impossible.

He refused to consider that now. Refused to take away from this time with her. And when he felt her tears dampen his shoulder, he held her closer and wished he could do more. If wishes were coins, he’d have enough to fill the entire palace. Yet he would never be able to fill the empty place in his soul when she left him. At least he would have some time with her tomorrow, and that thought helped him sleep.

*

Zain was sound asleep when Madison left his bed right before dawn. She hated to depart without his knowledge, but she didn’t want to wake him. She was afraid to wake him. Afraid because he could easily persuade her back into bed and back into his arms. Maybe even persuade her to stay for the coronation, and even longer.

As it stood now, she had a plane to catch at the airstrip in an hour, a car coming in twenty minutes before that, and she still had to take a shower and finish packing. She hurriedly re-dressed in the bathroom, and when she returned to the bedroom, she thankfully found Zain sleeping like a baby.

A baby…

She couldn’t think about that now or she’d start crying again, even though she felt all cried out. But she wasn’t stupid enough to believe there wouldn’t be more tears in her future. A lot of tears, along with a bucketful of regrets. Regret that he couldn’t be a part of their child’s life. Her life.

Madison took a chance and quietly approached the bed even though she risked waking Zain, but she couldn’t leave just yet. The first signs of daylight allowed her to take a mental snapshot of him to help her remember these last moments. He looked almost innocent with that dark lock of hair falling over his forehead. And because he was stretched out on his belly, with his head toward her on the pillow, she could see his eyes move behind closed lids. He was probably dreaming about becoming king, but to her he would always be a desert knight with a winning smile and a hero’s heart. Maybe he hadn’t rescued her, but he had given her the most precious of gifts.

On that thought, she lifted his arm that was draped over the side of the mattress, and pressed his hand lightly against the place where their baby grew inside her. Someday, when their child’s questions about his or her father inevitably began to come, she would simply say Daddy loves you, because she inherently knew he would.

As the tears began to threaten, and Zain slightly stirred, she released his hand and placed it on the empty space she had occupied so many nights. Then she leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Good night, sweet prince. I love you.”

She walked away, praying she didn’t hear him calling her name. But she heard only silence as she left his room for the last time. She experienced relief knowing she could leave before he even realized she was gone.