The Do Over

We savored every last minute we had on our mini vacation together. The sun had already set as we drove back on the narrow stretch of A1A to the mainland. The moon was shining against the backdrop of a black cloudless sky interspersed with the twinkles of the bright city lights off in the distance. Music was playing softly in the background. I wondered if he would serenade me again. He glanced over at me, smiled, and put his hand on my thigh. I pulled out my phone. I wanted to check in with my friends and let them know we were on our way back.

Dani: On our way back. Had a great weekend.

Macy: Tell me that your condition was remedied.

Dani: Is that all you think about? Where's Candace? Why isn't she chiming in?

Macy: Pretty much. Check your messages. She had to go out of town.

I checked my old messages, and sure enough, Candace had gone up to Jacksonville. Still, I was surprised that she hadn't responded. It wasn't like she was in Afghanistan. This was very unlike her.

Dani: The weather was great. We went snorkeling and laid out in the sun.

Macy: Sounds boring to me unless your condition was remedied.

Dani: Maybe.

Macy: Now we're talking.

Dani: Shut up!

Macy: That good, huh?

Dani: Deep, hard, and steady.

Dani put her phone away in her purse and laid her hand over mine. Turning my hand, I laced my fingers with hers.

I'd finally told her about Natalie. Who would've thought that one of her books would be an opener? To say that what had happened to Natalie f*cked me up was an understatement. It had taken me a long time to get to a place where I was at peace with what had happened to her. It had taken me even longer to move on. At first, I'd felt guilty. Why her and not me? And how could I even think of being with anyone else? Knowing that Nat would've kicked my ass, or foolishly tried, for wallowing in my own misery had helped the healing. How could I explain to Dani that I thought Natalie would be rooting for us? She would want me to be happy, and Dani made me happy, happier than I'd ever been. I couldn't lay all of that on her. I didn't want her to think that she had to compete with a ghost. I'd told her what she needed to know. I loved her. I never thought I would f*cking love anyone again, but I did.

We were both lost in thought.

I looked over. "What are you thinking about?"

"I love you," she said with a smile. "I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what's wrong with you."

"Why would there be something wrong with me? And, for the record, I love you, too."

Dani was always trying to find the fault or a problem that didn't exist. I knew she'd dated a*sholes, and the last one was a total loser. I was really trying to be patient and understanding. Sometimes, it was damned near impossible. I'd tried reassuring her before.

Now there had to be something wrong with me. This should be interesting.

"The thing is…well, you know that I've had a horrible track record with men, but I haven't really talked to you about what happened with my ex. Maybe that'll shed some light on why I love loving you and why it terrifies me as well."

I brought her hand to my lips and gave her a soft kiss. I just wanted her to know that I was in this for the long haul. Frustrated or not, I loved her.

"I dated him for a year. We lived together for half that time. I thought he was the one."

I already didn't like this guy. The idea of her living with someone else bothered the shit out of me.

"Anyhow, things seemed to be really great between us. He had just gotten a promotion, and I had just finished my master's degree. I was very close with his family. We were planning a vacation. This was our life."

I listened, trying to keep an open mind. I was f*cking jealous of an a*shole that broke her heart. This was unreal.

She said, "Life was good. I thought we were in love, but I was wrong. See, after a year of being together, he told me I was perfect on paper, but it just wasn't happening for him."

Who the hell said that shit? Especially to the girl he was living with? This guy was a piece of work.

Her story continued. "It actually gets better."

I found that hard to believe.

"My ex doesn't do alone. He had my replacement lined up. The night before we broke up, he flaunted her in front of me while we were out celebrating his promotion."

My blood was boiling. He was a motherf*cking a*shole. My grip tightened on the steering wheel. I looked over at her as she stared out the window. I was seething. She'd trusted that douche, and he'd broken her heart.

"So there you have it. Yeah, I know my insecurities can be annoying." She glanced over at me, raising an eyebrow.

Shit, I wasn't as discreet as I thought I was.

"There's just this part of me that's waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know that it's not fair to you. I just wanted you to understand where my craziness comes from."

I was still trying to gain my composure. I shook my head and let out a heavy sigh. "Baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you. If I ever see him, I'll rip off his head."

"Get in line. Macy and Candace want to cut off his dick."

"I'm at the front of the line. He broke my girl's heart. Now, you have my word, I'll never let anyone do anything like that to you again."

"I love how you go caveman, but I wasn't your girl then."

"It doesn't matter. Anyone who hurts you, past or present, deals with me."

"But, what if I do something stupid? I don't know. I've wondered sometimes if maybe I'm the one that does something to set these things in motion. What's your breaking point?"

"I'm a guy. I don't think about those things. Your ex was an a*shole. I'm not an a*shole. What he did to you was wrong. I might sing like a cat in heat, which I disagree—"

She interrupted, "I'm never going to live that one down, am I?"

"Nope. I'm holding a grudge." I winked.

"Fine, I'll admit it. You don't sing like a cat in heat. At least, not completely. Okay, maybe a little. But it was the sweetest thing in the world. I love you to the moon and back. And I know you're not an a*shole."

"I don't sing like a cat in heat at all. Back to what I was saying, so I have a dangerous job that's stressful and demanding on me and those I love. I have no intentions of stringing you along or playing with your heart. When I tell you that I love you, it's because I do." I kissed her hand.

"I know, but you didn't tell me what your breaking point is."

This was important to her. Honestly, I didn't sit around thinking about what I hated or what would be the thing that would break me, hoping she never did it. My mind did not go there. When I thought about her, I wanted to be buried inside of her, touching her, and watching her come. When I wasn't thinking about that, I was thinking about seeing her, touching her, and being inside of her. It was pretty simple. I thought about tucking her hair behind her ears and feeling her head lean into my touch. I thought about the way she smiled, feeling like the luckiest son of a bitch because that was my smile. She was always on my mind. The most predominant thoughts were about her smiling and when I could touch her. Now, I couldn't stop thinking about being inside of her.

"I don't think in terms of what you could do that I couldn't take. My thoughts are good thoughts." I smiled and wiggled my eyebrows. "But I know myself. I won't share you. Plain and simple. Don't lie or cheat. If you're looking for deal breakers, there they are. I can always work with the truth. I trust you. So, I'm not thinking about this. I'd rather focus on the things I love about you. I shouldn't tell you this, but my weakness is your smile."

Her face lit up. She had me wrapped around her little finger.

"You make everything sound so simple. All I have to do is smile, tell the truth, and not cheat. That's it? Well, for the sake of open communication, I'm going to ask one thing. If you ever want out, be honest with me, but be gentle."

"We don't have to be so complicated. I have no intentions of cutting you loose. What I want to do is pull you in closer. Just let me love you."

"You want to pull me in closer, do you?" She smiled as she leaned against the car door. She started playing with a strand of hair, twirling it between her fingers.

"I love you. I love falling asleep with you. I love waking up next to you. I love the way your eyes light up when you're reading your books. I love the way you bite your lower lip when you're texting your friends about me. I could go on. The list is long."

And it was. Chris was right. She owned me. I was whipped, and I didn't give a shit. I couldn't get enough of her.

"And how do you know I'm texting my friends about you?" She feigned indignation.

"Pfft, you're kidding, right? I'd have a serious problem if you looked like that and you were texting about anyone or anything other than me." There was no way in hell that she was going to get that gleam in her eye and that look like she was about to combust from talking about anything else.

"I love it when you get jealous. I love it almost as much as your long sentimental list of things you love about me. Are you always this sappy? Don't get me wrong. I love it. I'm just not used to this hearts-and-flowers type of thing."

Her words felt like a sucker punch. "Baby, you're killing my confidence here. First, you totally shoot down my serenade, and now, you're making fun of my deep profession of love." I had to remember she was used to a*sholes. I was about to say an a*shole thing, but I held back because I wasn't one. Instead, I just shook my head. "No, I am not always this sappy. Before you, I don't think anyone would've ever accused me of being sappy or hearts and flowers. And what the hell is that anyway? Hearts and flowers?"

She covered her face with her hands. "I'm awful. You're wonderful, and I'm giving you a hard time. I'm sorry. There's just a part of me that's being ridiculous, thinking that this wonderful, overflowing abundance of love fest will end once we get home. I'm acting out. I give you full permission to punish me."

"I don't know what I have to do to prove to you that I'm sincere, but I'll do it. If it means spanking you, baby, I'm all for that, too."

This was clearly a Kodak moment because her eyes nearly popped out of her head. I thought mine were about to when she got the sexiest smile I'd ever seen before. Then, she licked her lips. Hot damn.

"Do you want to spank me?" she asked in a frisky voice.

I pictured her blindfolded and stretched out on my bed with her hands tied above her head. My dick was on alert and ready for action. We had another thirty minutes before we'd get to my place. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was nine-thirty. Although we both had to be up early tomorrow, there was no way she was going home tonight.

"I've seen some of those books you read. Have you ever wanted to try some of those things?" I asked as I glanced at her.

She sat there, frozen.

"Baby, you're speechless," I said.

"Of course I'm not speechless. I, um…just, um…I wasn't expecting you to, um…suggest that. I don't know. I've never thought about it."

"You can't sit here and tell me that you've read those books, and you've never thought about it once."

She tilted her head up and shook it softly. She steadied her eyes on me. "Yes, I've thought about it. I'm not interested in all that kinky-f*ckery stuff, but I don't know. Maybe?"

Oh yeah, she'd thought about it, and she was thinking about it now.

She shifted in her seat and changed the subject. "I want you to sing to me."

"When I hear the right song, I will, and you'll like it."

"We'll see about that, Mr. Confidence." She flirted.

I loved playful Dani. I was adding that to my list.

When we reached Florida City, I pulled in to refuel. Getting back into the car, I checked my messages and found that I had a text from Chris.

Chris: Way to go, dude. Heard you took care of the condition.

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Chris is whacked," I said to Dani.

Liam: WTF?

Chris: LMAO.

Liam: Are you drunk?

Chris: ROTFLMAO.

I just shook my head.

"Really? What did he say?" she asked.

"Something about me taking care of a condition. This better not be his way of telling me that he's crashing at my place."

She pulled out her phone and immediately started texting. She couldn't have been texting about me because her brow was furrowed, and her lips were pressed tightly together as her fingers tapped feverishly over her screen.

"Baby, are you okay? You went from playful Dani to scary Dani."

She looked over at me, fuming.

"What's the matter? What happened?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm killing Macy. Can you help me dispose of the body? We can dump her in the Everglades. Maybe chop her up into small pieces and feed her to the alligators."

"No one's killing anyone. You aren't homicidal. Right?" I paused, trying to lighten the moment. "What happened?"

Then, it dawned on me. Apparently, I was slow. My mind and dick were still thinking about tying Dani up. I hadn't made the connection. Chris…condition…Macy…Dani pissed off.

"This has something to do with that condition Macy was jabbering about last weekend. Do I need to beat someone up for you?"

Her jaw was clenched as she shook her head. "I can't believe Macy. The woman seriously has a problem with respecting my privacy. She needs to learn to shut up. I'm just not going to tell her anything anymore." She turned and looked out the window.

"Nope, that's not going to happen," I said, reaching for her hand.

She turned to me. "What's not going to happen?"

"You're not shutting down into your head and not letting me in. What's this condition thing? Why are you so upset about it?"

"Liam, please don't make me talk about it," she said with pleading eyes. "I promise that I'll smile. That should make everything just right." She faked a smile.

"The smile only works when it's real," I said. I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, grazing my lips over her knuckles. "You can tell me anything."

"You've seen me naked—"

"Yes, I have, and you have a gorgeous body." I rested our hands on her thigh.

I thought about her body stretched out under me. Hmmm, a blindfold and her wiggling when I touched her. Yeah, I'd seen her naked, and I wanted to see more of that sexy, tight body.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm trying to say something that I don't want to say," she said.

I just nodded my head in agreement. She was being feisty, and it was sexy. Do I have any rope at home? Maybe I can tie her up tonight. Damn, my dick was getting hard. I had to shift in my seat.

"You know that my ex and I broke up about a couple years ago." She rolled her eyes and let go of my hand.

I was brought out of my fantasy as she reminded of that motherf*cker.

"Well, I haven't really dated since then. It was no more than a date or two. I'm not Macy. I don't screw anything that walks. So, it had been a while." She huffed. "Macy branded me a re-virgin, and she said that was a condition that needed to be taken care of immediately. There you have it." She threw her hands in the air and then crossed them in front of her.

I knew she was pissed off at Macy. We needed to have a little talk about not discussing our sex life with her friends. Still, I couldn't help myself. I kept thinking about the things I wanted to do to her.

"Does that make me…your first?" Tilting my head toward her, I winked.

She smacked me and laughed. "You've got a one-track mind. I suppose, according to Macy's reasoning, you're my first, and there's no one else I would've wanted to be my first."

"I feel honored and privileged to be your first." I kissed her hand. "And your last."