CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ethan opened the back door as quietly as possible, in case Autumn was already asleep. He never did find Rob, but Cab – with the help of his buddies in the sheriff’s department – finally got a lead that he’d been spotted in Billings. Cab would make sure he stayed out of trouble for the rest of the night and got home safely.
All he wanted was to curl up with his bride and sleep – unless she had other ideas, that is. Autumn could wake up his passion with a single touch – hell, even a single look – and he’d never disappoint her. The kitchen light was on, but she wasn’t in sight. Nor was she in his bedroom, which gave him pause until he saw the light on in the guest room. Why would she be in there? He moved softly to the door and pushed it open.
Autumn was awake, fully dressed and sitting upright on the made bed, her suitcases at her feet.
“Don’t say a thing,” she said as he entered the room, and her tone made his blood run cold.
“Autumn…”
“Not one thing.” Her voice rose and he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture. “I talked to Lacey tonight,” she went on. “She had a lot of interesting things to say.”
Ethan groaned. “I’ll bet she did. You know that woman’s crazier than a loon, don’t you?”
“Did you kiss her tonight?”
Ethan’s mouth dropped open, closed, then opened again. “She…I didn’t kiss her.”
Autumn closed her eyes and he wanted to rush to her and smooth away every trace of the pain that was evident in her face.
“Autumn, I swear, I didn’t kiss her. She’s the one that threw herself at me. She was drunk and upset – something must have happened between her and Carl, I don’t know what. I got out of there as quickly as I could and I came back here.”
Her eyes snapped open. “She called me over an hour ago.”
“I’ve been looking for Rob! You know that. Hell, don’t let Lacey screw this up between us – not now,” Ethan pleaded. “That woman’s been nothing but trouble since I met her. She’s long gone, Autumn. Past history – she’s got no part in our story.”
Autumn said nothing, getting to her feet. Her eyes were shining with tears and a jagged pain stabbed through Ethan’s heart knowing he was the cause of it. “That woman is on your office wall. Naked on your office wall.”
Oh, hell.
Oh, holy hell.
“I can explain.” The words sounded so lame he wanted to gouge his own eyes out.
“No, you can’t.” She sounded tired. “Ethan, please. Don’t even try – it doesn’t become either of us.”
“It was so long ago – Lacey put them there when we started fighting, before we split up, and she used some kind of glue. I don’t know how she did it. They won’t peel off – I need to find a scraper and some solvent…and there’s always too damn much to do out there,” he waved a hand toward the ranch. “At first, when she ditched me, I kept it up because I was furious. She hurt my pride, telling me I was broke and worthless and she deserved better than me. She left a month after my parents died. You don’t know how I felt. Every time I saw that picture I remembered again how she’d done me wrong. It kept me feeling angry – and feeling angry felt better than feeling alone. Then I just got busy, and I didn’t care, and I stopped seeing it there all together. It’s just part of the room – like the desk or the window. I’ll take care of it tomorrow – I’ll do it right now if you need me to.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t even make the YouTube video. You didn’t even want a wife. It’s all a joke – this is all a joke. We both know you still love Lacey.”
“F*ck and hell, if you believe that then you’re the one who’s crazy!” Autumn’s eyes went wide at the anger in his voice, but he stepped forward, needed to drive his point home. “I love you. I have loved you from the minute I saw you walk through the airport and I want you to be my wife. Do you understand that?” She blinked and a tear spilled from her eye. “I made a mistake proposing to Lacey and thank God she broke it off, because if we’d gone through with marriage we would have made each other very miserable.” He took her arm, gently but firmly. “I may not have made that video, but God must have moved Rob’s hand to do it, because it brought me an angel – you. I’ve been a lucky man. I was saved from an unhappy marriage before it was too late, and then I was led to you – the woman I love more than anything. Taking down those pictures was a chore that required just a bit too much time and effort to make it to the top of my list. I will regret that little bit of laziness forever since it hurt you.
“I’m just a man, Autumn. A flawed man. But I love you more than you will ever know.”
“She said you called her every night,” Autumn whispered. “She said you looked at her photo and…”
Ethan counted to ten. The next time he saw Lacey it would be all he could do to keep from ripping her head right off her body. “That’s a lie, and I can prove it. I’ll get my phone records tomorrow – both the house and my cell. I’ll show you I haven’t spoken to Lacey since she dumped me.”
“Why would she lie?”
He shook his head. Should he explain all he knew about Lacey? Expose her secrets? “Lacey…I don’t know. Why does any woman lie?”
“Men lie, too,” Autumn blazed back.
“Not all men.”
“My father cheated on my mother. He left her for another woman – left her with two daughters to raise. He changed all of our lives in that moment, in ways I’m sure he never even considered. My mom was never the same.” Her voice broke. “He disappeared, so I never got to tell him what he did. He made her hate men and he made her so scared for her daughters that she did everything she could to make us hate men, too. And I’ve tried,” her voice rose. “I’ve tried to care about work, heart and soul like she does. I’ve tried to be a success, and to put everything else aside. Before you, I’d never once considered marriage or having children and you know what?”
“What?” He was afraid to say anything else.
“It’s lonely. I go home every night from my job and open the door to my empty apartment, where I can’t even keep a cat if I want to, and I work some more or watch t.v., or maybe go out with a friend, but even if there are men there I keep my distance because I. can’t. trust. a. man. I can’t! Because my mother raised me never to do so. And then I come here – here! – to your ranch,” she waved an arm, her eyes brimming with the tears she was struggling not to shed, “and here you were, and here was this place, and here was the life I wanted, and I thought maybe I could trust a man…and…I was so happy…and then Lacey called…”
Ethan spun away before she saw the fury in his eyes. Lacey was going to pay – he’d make sure of that. “You’re not the only one here who’s been hurt. Hell, everyone gets hurt, don’t they?” He turned back around. “All we can do is try. And if you love me half as much as I love you, I think we have a good shot at making it.”
Autumn hesitated, her eyes huge and her cheeks stained with tears. “I want us to make it.”
“I want that, too.” In an instant he had her in his arms, and tipping her head back he kissed her long and hard. At first she resisted and he knew she was thinking of Lacey’s picture in the office. Hell, he’d burn the whole house down if that’s what it took to put that in their past. Then she softened and he took the kiss deeper, until his body woke up enough to think they should get on to even more pleasurable activities.
“Ethan,” she said, when he reached for the buttons at her throat. “Wait.”
He stilled, afraid she would push him away again.
“Do you really love me?”
“I love you more than life itself.”
A tiny smile appeared on her face. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Are you sure you want to spend your life with me?”
“So sure, honey. Nothing could make me happier.”
She waited another beat. “I’m pregnant.”
He went cold and then hot and then tears pricked his eyes – tears – when he hadn’t cried in nearly twenty years, not even when his parents died. “Are you sure?”
She nodded vehemently and he pulled her into a hug and spun her around the room. Collapsing with her onto the bed he kissed her thoroughly on the mouth, and then all over her body, stopping with reverence at her still-flat stomach. “Hey, baby,” he called, cupping his hands over her belly. “I love you. I can’t wait to see you.”
When he looked up, Autumn was in tears, too.
“I love you, Ethan,” she said.
“I love you. Six more days until the wedding, and then I’m never letting you go – ever again.”