CHAPTER FOURTEEN
An hour later, Ethan still hadn’t caught up with Rob. By the time he made it to the parking lot, Rob’s Chevy was long gone. He’d gone to Rob’s house first, just to make sure his friend made it home okay, but to his surprise, Rob’s truck wasn’t among the other vehicles parked at the Matheson ranch and the cabin he lived in, a quarter mile from the main house, was empty and dark when he poked his head in the door. Numerous calls to his cell phone yielded no answer and he began to get worried.
Back in town, he searched two other bars and an all-night restaurant before heading to a dive on the county road. He couldn’t imagine Rob hanging out there, but it was the only place left to try. Rob’s truck wasn’t in the lot, but he slammed on his brakes when he saw Lacey pull in and get unsteadily out of her car. He pulled into a parking spot nearby and intercepted her before she could reach the front door.
“Hey – Lacey, what are you doing? Are you meeting Carl?”
She made a face. “I left Carl at home and I came here because I didn’t want to see any familiar faces. What’re you doing here – finally break up with that floozy?”
“No, I haven’t broken up with Autumn. We’re getting married on Saturday, remember? I’m just here looking for Rob.”
“Rob?” She shrugged. “Haven’t seen him. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”
“Sorry – I’ve got to go, and you should go, too. You’re drunk, Lacey, and if you go in there some a*shole is going to figure that out in about two seconds, get you drunker, and take you home. You don’t want that kind of trouble.”
“How the hell do you know what I want?” she hissed at him. “You walked away from me.”
Ethan raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “I walked away? You gotta be kidding me. You left me, Lacey, remember?”
“You were supposed to fight for me!” she said, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You were supposed to man up, pay off those debts, come after me and give me what I wanted.”
“Uh…you made it pretty damn clear you didn’t want anything to do with me. Besides, you were with Carl – I’m not going to try to steal another man’s woman.”
“I’m not Carl’s woman,” she said, rearing back. “I’m not anyone’s woman. No one loves me enough for me to be his woman.”
“Carl loves you.”
“Carl says I drink too much. Do you believe that?” Lacey said, “He said I need to get my act together before we get married. All because I had a little, tiny glass of wine with supper.”
“Lacey, you’ve had way more than a glass of wine. Go home and sober up. Pull it together. You found a rich man who’s willing to put up with all of your shit and make an honest woman of you – you should be happy.”
“I’m not happy,” she said and lurched forward into his arms. “Ethan, I’m not happy at all. Carl bores me to tears, he isn’t any fun, and…” She flung her arms around him and kissed him squarely on the mouth. “I love you, Ethan. Not Carl. I’m in love with you.”
He was going to have nightmares about this night for the rest of his life, he just knew it. He firmly removed Lacey’s arms from around his neck and pushed her away. “No, you’re not, Lacey. And I’m not in love with you, either.”
“Yes, I am. And I know you still love me. You haven’t forgotten my body, have you? You used to love to touch me – you couldn’t wait to make love to me. Remember that picture you took of me sleeping in your bed – the one I put on your office wall so you would think about being with me even when you were working?”
Ethan sucked in a breath. Shit – he still hadn’t taken that stupid collage down. He’d even gone looking for a scraper once while Autumn was busy, but had gotten distracted by Jamie coming to see him about ranch business.
Watching him closely, she crowed with triumph. “You still have it, don’t you! You still look at my naked body every night when you do your accounts. You still dream about touching me. See – I knew you were still in love with me. You don’t have to go through with the wedding, Ethan. You can break it off and marry me, instead. It’ll be so beautiful…”
Ethan backed away. “You’re crazy if you think for one second I’ll have you back. Get it in your head – I love Autumn. I always will. Go home and sleep it off and see if Carl will still have you after whatever you’ve done to him tonight. Or better yet, figure out what you really want in life. Take a trip, or get a job, or go back to school or something. Stop trying to find a man to fill in all the blanks and start filling them in yourself.”
He opened the door and stuck his head in the bar for a minute, to assure himself of what he already knew – Rob wasn’t in there – then brushed Lacey aside and stalked off down the steps, back to his truck. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he saw her fumble in her purse and pull out her phone. He felt bad leaving Lacey standing there, but he had to find Rob and he couldn’t very well give her a ride home – not without fending off more drunken advances. He hoped she was calling a cab, or better yet – Carl.
Now where the hell was Rob? He’d just have to keep driving up and down the streets of Chance Creek until he found the man.
Some celebration.
* * * * *
Autumn waved to Jamie and let herself into the dark, empty bunkhouse, flipping on the kitchen lights and pouring herself a glass of water before heading wearily to the guest bedroom. Ethan never returned to the Dancing Boot, even though she’d waited nearly an hour and a half for him. Finally, she’d accepted a ride home with Jamie and Claire, half-sick with worry, half-dead with exhaustion.
Who knew when Ethan would turn up? Maybe Rob was hurt, or needed someone to talk to. She hoped Ethan could soothe over the man’s obviously hurt feelings and patch things up between them. She knew how important it was to him to have all his friends stand up for him at the wedding.
If he was going to have three attendants, she guessed she’d better get her sister to be a bridesmaid along with Becka. If she was coming. There had been complete silence on the Eastern front and she had no idea if her sister and mother would be there on Saturday or not.
Maybe this is all a big mistake, she thought, sitting down on the bed. Maybe we’re rushing things because we know deep down we shouldn’t be doing it at all.
Did she really feel that way?
No – she loved Ethan, she was sure of that. And she wanted to be here at the Cruz ranch. It was just this business with Rob that had her spooked. What did he mean Ethan wouldn’t be marrying her if it wasn’t for him?
When the house phone rang, she jumped, then put a hand to her pounding heart and raced to get it. “Ethan?”
“No, it’s Lacey. Is this Autumn?”
Autumn looked at the phone. Why would Lacey be calling at this hour? “Yes.”
“Ethan will be home soon, but I thought you’d want to know why he’s so late.”
“He’s looking for Rob,” Autumn said sharply, moving to hang up.
Lacey laughed. “Well, that’s the excuse he’ll use, but he’s actually been with me.”
“You’re a lousy liar,” Autumn said, but a little voice asked how Lacey knew he wasn’t home with her.
“That may be, but I’m the one who’s been making out with Ethan for the past hour, and you’re the one sitting home alone.”
She paced across the kitchen, her free hand balled into a fist. The clock read past two in the morning. Where was Ethan? Why wasn’t he home?
“You know Ethan could never keep his hands off of me. We did it two, three times a day when we were together. Inside, outside, in his truck.” Lacey broke off with a throaty laugh.
“Whatever. Lacey, you’re past history. Go to bed.”
“You want proof Ethan’s still in love with me? Proof that he can’t get my body out of his mind even now that I’m marrying Carl? He goes into his office every night after dinner, doesn’t he? Know what he’s doing? I bet he’s never let you in there.”
“What?” How did Lacey know she hadn’t been in Ethan’s office? There’d never been a reason for her to go in there and he always kept the door closed to hide the mess, or so he’d said. “He’s doing the accounts,” Autumn snapped, but a little tendril of dread tightened in her gut. She hated to think that Ethan’s daily rituals were as familiar to Lacey as they were to her. More familiar, actually. Lacey had dated Ethan for months, right? Years, even. She’d only been with him for three weeks.
“Is that what he calls it?” Another throaty laugh. “Uh uh, darling. You see, he calls me every night. If I’m not in, he listens to my answering machine, and he looks at my photograph – my naked photograph – and…well, you can picture the rest.”
“That is such bullshit,” Autumn said.
“Is it? Check out his office. You’ll see exactly what I mean. Oh, and by the way, that YouTube video – the one that lured you to Montana in the first place because you were so desperate for a husband? Ethan didn’t even make it. Rob did. As a joke.” Lacey hung up and Autumn stood there, nausea crawling up her throat, the phone still held in her hand.
Lacey couldn’t be serious – about any of it. There was no way Ethan was getting off to her answering machine in his office every night and then coming out and making love to her with a passion that swept her off her feet. There was no way this whole thing was a joke.
But what if he was thinking of Lacey when he was with her?
No. No way could he fake that.
What if he was only with her because Lacey was marrying Carl?
She couldn’t believe that, either.
And what did Lacey mean that Rob had made the YouTube video instead of Ethan? That couldn’t be true – except…she remembered Rob’s words at the restaurant: “Without me you’d never be marrying Autumn…”
The whole thing had been a joke?
She was a joke?
She placed the phone back in its cradle with trembling hands and slowly made her way to Ethan’s bedroom, halting at the closed door to his office. She tentatively reached out and turned the handle. The door swung open, revealing a room so small the desk took up an entire wall.
She stepped in, turned on the light and cried out.
There on the wall beside his desk, just as Lacey had said, was a mass of photographs. All of them showed Lacey in various outfits at various locations, but smack in the middle of all of them was a very provocative, very naked image of Lacey. Right where Ethan would have to see it, every single night.
Tears filled her eyes and she flicked off the light. She backed out of the room, and blindly retraced her steps. He was still in love with Lacey – or in lust, or something. At the very least he spent nearly twenty minutes every night with her naked image before he was able to make love to her.
Shame burned the back of her throat and she stumbled to the guest bedroom and began to pack. She had to get out of here, right now. She was a pathetic stand-in for the woman Ethan truly loved and there was no way she’d spend her life as someone else’s second choice.
And everyone knew. Everyone in the restaurant tonight – at the bar – they all knew. She recalled the tension at the table as they waited with bated breath to see whether or not Rob would spill Ethan’s big secret – that the whole video ad for a mail order bride was a big, fat fake, and her wedding was probably a big, fat fake, too.
Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she pulled open the drawers of the bureau and began to pile her clothing on the bed. Was that it? Was the whole damn town in on the gag? When would Ethan have told her? At the altar? Before or after they exchanged their fake vows?
You were lying to him, too. If you’d submitted the article you came to write, all of New York City would be laughing at Ethan.
Tears spilled down over her cheeks. She bent to grab her suitcase and cursed when the lid swung open and a package fell out on her foot.
The pregnancy test.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
She sat down hard and covered her face with her hands as sobs wracked her. Ethan was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be as excited as she was to find out whether or not they were having a child, but instead he was who knows where, tangled up in a web of lies so thick he’d trapped her good and hard within them.
She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and stared at the box for a full minute before slowly retrieving it. She might as well do it now, so she knew exactly what type of hell she’d be returning to New York City to face.
Five minutes later she sat on the closed lid of the toilet and stared at the plus sign on the pregnancy test stick.
Pregnant. She was carrying Ethan’s child. A few hours ago she would have been deliriously happy to see what she was seeing now, and she’d have bet her life Ethan would be happy, too. Now fear, disgust, and self-loathing gathered in her chest, crushing her. Not only would she be alone; her baby would be, too. She would do whatever it took to give this baby a good life, but just like her mother before her she needed to return to school, ask for help from her family, and leave the baby in the care of strangers while she took classes and found a better job. She would miss so many experiences with her child because she would need to be a breadwinner. And what about Ethan? What place would he demand in her child’s life? For all she hated him right now – for all he’d possessed her heart and then torn it into pieces – she couldn’t deny him his rights as a father.
Would he want to be involved? Or would he just move on and have children with Lacey?
Finally, when her heart hurt too much to bear it anymore, she returned to the guest room and shoved the pregnancy test into her bag. As evidence, she guessed. Evidence that she was the biggest idiot in Montana for believing this life could ever be hers.
When her bags were packed she sat on the bed and waited for Ethan to come home. As soon as she told him exactly what she thought of him, she was getting the hell out of Chance Creek for good.