Okay, I thought. I believe you, but . . . we can’t linger here. I need to know what I need to know. The fact that you thought my mom was hot doesn’t really matter.
I felt his laughter. Oh, October. The fact that I thought your mother was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen matters more than you can know. Let go. Come back.
Letting go of my confusion and diving back into the blood memory was almost impossibly hard. The smell of smoke and mulled cider assaulted my nostrils as the ballroom scene blurred and disappeared around us, replaced, briefly, by Simon and my mother standing in front of a man that Simon’s memory identified as the then-High King of North America, their hands joined, their eyes fixed only on each other. More than a hundred years had passed between those memories: I knew that, even if I didn’t know how I knew. It was just . . . obvious.
The scene dissolved. Amandine’s tower appeared, the door standing open to reveal a garden riotous with color. Red roses, golden daisies, purple spires of love-lies-bleeding—it was like looking into an amateur version of one of Luna’s projects, fiercely alive and just as fiercely beautiful. Mother’s gardens had never looked like that while I lived with her . . . but this memory was long before me, wasn’t it? Because there was Amandine, her belly huge with a baby I had never met, smiling indulgently at Simon.
She chose me, she chose me out of everyone she could have chosen in the world, and I will not disappoint her; I will be the man she needs, and the father that our child deserves. I will always be there for her. I will be there for both of them. Nothing in this world or any other could make me fail them.
Another flicker, and the Amandine who raced through our/my field of vision wasn’t pregnant anymore. The little girl she pursued had silvery braids that glimmered red, like the reddish gold I sometimes saw in wedding rings. Amandine pounced, and the little girl laughed, twisting in her mother’s arms to bury her hands in the pale waterfall of Amandine’s hair.
The scene froze.
“Even here, there are holes in what I can say.” The voice came from beside me, not inside my own head. I turned. There was Simon—but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were fixed on his wife and daughter, and there was a look of heartbreaking yearning on his face. I think that if I had killed him in that moment, looking at that scene, he would have died thanking me. “The bindings I am under are very strong. She made sure of that.”
“You can say ‘she’ without flinching now,” I said. “Can you tell me if I get something wrong?”
“I believe I can, yes.” Simon sighed deeply. “We were so happy. What happened to us?”
“Near as I can tell, Evening Winterrose happened to you.” I didn’t mean to snark: it was almost automatic at this point. I still hated him for what he’d done to me—I wasn’t sure there was anything that could make me hate him any less—but I was also starting to feel strangely sorry for him. Maybe that was a sign of growing maturity. Maybe it was a sign that I was just too tired to care. “She’s the one who geased you, right? Just so we’re absolutely clear.”
“Yes.” The scene changed. In an instant, the little girl was a long-limbed teen, sitting at the table with her mother, a smile on her face as they shared a plate of fruit and cheese. Looking at them, I felt sorrow, and an overwhelming jealousy. Amandine had never been easy with me. Not like that. Not like she was with the daughter that she’d lost.
“Did you know Evening was the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn?”
“Not at first.” Simon’s voice took on a new level of bitterness. “I had my suspicions—things she’d said, things she’d done. Even the way she looked at my wife. I asked Amy once if—” He stopped speaking.
The silence stretched on for long enough that I started to worry. I turned back to him, and he was gone, replaced by the tower wall. “Simon?” A red veil began to cloud my vision. Something was wrong.
The Winter Long
Seanan McGuire's books
- Blood Brothers
- Face the Fire
- Holding the Dream
- The Hollow
- The way Home
- A Father's Name
- All the Right Moves
- After the Fall
- And Then She Fell
- A Mother's Homecoming
- All They Need
- Behind the Courtesan
- Breathe for Me
- Breaking the Rules
- Bluffing the Devil
- Chasing the Sunset
- Feel the Heat (Hot In the Kitchen)
- For the Girls' Sake
- Guarding the Princess
- Happy Mother's Day!
- Meant-To-Be Mother
- In the Market for Love
- In the Rancher's Arms
- Leather and Lace
- Northern Rebel Daring in the Dark
- Seduced The Unexpected Virgin
- Southern Beauty
- St Matthew's Passion
- Straddling the Line
- Taming the Lone Wolff
- Taming the Tycoon
- Tempting the Best Man
- Tempting the Bride
- The American Bride
- The Argentine's Price
- The Art of Control
- The Baby Jackpot
- The Banshee's Desire
- The Banshee's Revenge
- The Beautiful Widow
- The Best Man to Trust
- The Betrayal
- The Call of Bravery
- The Chain of Lies
- The Chocolate Kiss
- The Cost of Her Innocence
- The Demon's Song
- The Devil and the Deep
- The Do Over
- The Dragon and the Pearl
- The Duke and His Duchess
- The Elsingham Portrait
- The Englishman
- The Escort
- The Gunfighter and the Heiress
- The Guy Next Door
- The Heart of Lies
- The Heart's Companion
- The Holiday Home
- The Irish Upstart
- The Ivy House
- The Job Offer
- The Knight of Her Dreams
- The Lone Rancher
- The Love Shack
- The Marquess Who Loved Me
- The Marriage Betrayal
- The Marshal's Hostage
- The Masked Heart
- The Merciless Travis Wilde
- The Millionaire Cowboy's Secret
- The Perfect Bride
- The Pirate's Lady
- The Problem with Seduction
- The Promise of Change
- The Promise of Paradise
- The Rancher and the Event Planner
- The Realest Ever
- The Reluctant Wag
- The Return of the Sheikh
- The Right Bride
- The Sinful Art of Revenge
- The Sometime Bride
- The Soul Collector
- The Summer Place
- The Texan's Contract Marriage
- The Virtuous Ward
- The Wolf Prince
- The Wolfs Maine
- The Wolf's Surrender
- Under the Open Sky
- Unlock the Truth
- Until There Was You
- Worth the Wait
- The Lost Tycoon
- The Raider_A Highland Guard Novel
- The Wife, the Maid, and the Mistress
- The Witch is Back
- When the Duke Was Wicked
- India Black and the Gentleman Thief