Chapter 19
Nearly a week had passed, and Maddie felt like she was walking on clouds as she sat in the office near Abby, trying to focus on work. She couldn’t think of her new clients without mentally thanking Flynn’s aunt, which led to thoughts of Flynn. The way he smiled, how his lips crooked and his eyes twinkled right before he’d kiss her. All week long she’d lived with her phone glued to her hand in case he sent her a text. They’d spent alternating nights at his place or hers. Last night they’d accepted Mike’s invitation to dinner. She’d let Flynn hold her hand, not at all worried about what anyone might say. It had “girlfriend move” written all over it. And she didn’t care.
To her surprise, Flynn’s brothers had been perfect gentlemen. They’d been fun to be around and demolished her chocolate chip cookies. Colin ate three. When she’d asked him about Ubie, he’d looked confused, until Flynn reminded him about the bear. Then he’d raced from the room to get his most favorite stuffed animal.
Brody remained the only fly in the ointment. He continued to watch her with what she swore was distrust. It bothered her. Brody and Flynn might as well have been brothers.
Why didn’t he like her? Had she done something to come between the two of them? Was Flynn not working as hard, distracted like her, because of their as-yet-unnamed relationship?
She frowned, knowing the feeling. Despite her giddy happiness with the way her relationship with Flynn had blossomed, she still feared calling them an actual “couple.” Which made little sense. But she worried her new boyfriend would change the moment she labeled them.
He hasn’t changed since letting me tie him up. Maybe it’s me who’s changed.
Her stupid subconscious wouldn’t shut up today.
Someone knocked at the outer door then rang the bell.
Maddie hadn’t expected Flynn until later. She wanted to jump up and race to the door to see him. So she didn’t. This leaping at texts and running to greet him like a damn dog had to stop. No reason for her to lose her mind and heart any time he neared. If only he didn’t look at her with such proprietary interest. If only he’d act less like he cared for her, she might have been able to calm her rising discomfort. Plain and simple, she cared too much about him. She… loved… Flynn McCauley.
Oh shit. Shit. I really do. I love the guy. Me. In love. She stared blankly at her monitor.
“Gee, don’t get up. I’ll get the door.” Abby jumped up from her seat at her computer and stomped through the hallway. For such a short person, she made a lot of noise.
Maddie distracted herself by opening her email. One message in particular stood out. A request for design help. Excited, she read the request over again before jotting down the phone number listed as a contact, along with the woman’s name. Bonnie Weir.
Before she could make the call, Abby returned to the office with an odd look on her face.
“Abby?”
“You have a visitor.”
“What’s wrong?”
Footsteps sounded and she looked up, expecting Flynn, only to see Ben Foster instead. The old flame, Doctor Superior.
“Hi, Maddie. I wondered if we could talk.”
Stunned, she glanced from him to Abby, who made a face but erased it when Ben looked at her.
“Don’t mind me. I just write for a living. Let me clear out and let you two kids have some space.” Abby left in a huff.
Moments later, Maddie heard the back door slam, probably Abby headed into the yard to pull weeds.
Maddie stood and motioned Ben to take a spot on the love seat by the far wall. She wheeled her chair from behind her desk to sit across from him, needing the distance.
She had to admit, the man looked good. Tall, dark-haired, and blue-eyed, he had a lean grace and easy confidence that had attracted her from the first. His low voice wasn’t as gravelly as Flynn’s, but reflected the cultured tones of a man raised to know his dessert spoon from his soup spoon. She’d been suitably impressed with him, in hindsight because his background had been so different from hers.
“You’re looking good, Maddie. Really good.” Ben smiled.
“You too. I’m surprised to see you here.”
He nodded. “I figured. I would have called, but I wanted to see you in person.” His face softened. “I miss you.”
She didn’t know what to say. She’d never expected this. “Ben, you told me to leave. So I left. I moved on with my life. It’s been over three months.”
“True.” He sighed. “It’s just… You’re a lot to handle, Maddie Gardner. Beautiful, passionate, intelligent.”
He was hitting all the right buzz words, but none of what he said really mattered.
“Ben, why are you here?”
He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. Some things never changed. “I had a hard time keeping my ego with you. I used to try so hard to impress you. But you never seemed to need me around. When you pretty much told me to, and I quote, ‘man-up or man-out,’ I was stunned. I’d thought things were okay between us. Not perfect, but well enough. Do you have any idea what it’s like to hear that the woman you love doesn’t want to spend time with you?”
She paled. “Love?”
“Yes. It took me a while, but our time apart made me realize how much I missed you.”
“You chose to cut me out of your life.”
He laughed, but it wasn’t a sound of mirth. “You’re kidding, right? During our time together, any time I tried to get close to you, you froze me out. We didn’t even make love at the end. We spent weeks apart. I got tired of it all.”
“Oh?” True, at the end, she’d been the one to deny him. But months spent lying under him, waiting for him to please her, only after he’d pleased himself, had grated.
“The minute we’d finish screwing, you’d kick me out of bed or leave to go back to your place. I had a hard time handling that. And you didn’t seem to care.”
She definitely had a different recollection of events than he did. “Really? Because I don’t remember the sex as much of a problem, at least not for you. But I do remember your tantrums whenever I couldn’t make one of your doctor luncheons or work around your schedule. Any time I tried to devote extra effort to my career, you’d make me feel guilty for it.”
“Extra effort?” His voice rose, and he made an obvious effort to tone himself down. “Maddie, you spent all your time working.” He paused. “I once called your office looking for you. When I jokingly complained about all your overtime, the girl there told me you didn’t get paid a dime for it. That you willingly volunteered all your hours, making the rest of them look bad.”
She blushed. She’d told him a small lie about getting paid for her extra work in an effort to avoid hurting his feelings. Ben understood money. But putting design before him had always been an issue. Unfortunately for him, spending time with Ben had never been huge on her agenda.
Ben shook his head. “I sometimes worked harder at my job than on our relationship, I admit. But my practice demanded it. I knew yours didn’t.”
“Yes, but I wanted to make my career work. I busted my tail for that place.”
Odd how she’d hadn’t thought much of it the past few weeks.
“The thing is, Ben, you never seemed to understand how important my work was to me. You’re a successful doctor from an affluent family. You come from money. I never begrudged you that,” she said to forestall his objection. “You are what you are. I’ve worked my entire life to make my way. I grew up relying on myself. I never needed you for your money.”
His eyes narrowed. “And maybe that was part of the problem.”
“I’m not a gold digger. How is that a problem?”
He blew out a breath. “It wasn’t that you didn’t need my money, but that you didn’t need me. I was convenient. We made a nice couple, handy when it came to professional functions where we needed a date. Everyone said how perfect we looked together.”
He was right. Their looks had complemented each other, as had their designer clothes and white-collar jobs.
“It was more than that,” she protested.
“Was it? Can you tell me you’ve thought about me since we broke up? Don’t you miss me at all?”
She missed his friendship, but not being a couple. Not sure how she would have answered, she didn’t get the chance.
A low, annoyed voice interrupted, “What the f*ck is this?”
She pulled back from Ben and stood, feeling out of sorts. Some stupid girly part of her wanted to cheer at Flynn’s jealousy, while another part of her wanted to remind him that no one owned her. “Flynn, this is Ben. Ben, Flynn.”
“Ben?” Flynn turned his accusatory glare on her. “The same Ben who dumped you right before you left your job?”
“Who the hell is this?” Ben sounded irritated, but in command of himself. He also sounded a little haughty. “McSons,” he read Flynn’s shirt and blinked. “Wait a minute. You’re one of the guys David’s been talking about?”
“David?” Flynn looked torn between fury and confusion.
“David Weir. He’s a friend of a friend,” Ben added in that snooty way only he could. “He and Bonnie are building Mountain Pass. You know, that development in Anacortes?”
“Bonnie Weir?” Maddie had a bad feeling about the coincidence of so many names. “Hold on. Ben, why exactly are you here?”
“I miss you. I love you. I want you back.” He threw out the words, more like a challenge than a declaration of love.
Flynn looked ready to burst a blood vessel. “Are you kidding me? You tossed her out, now you want her back?” To her he said, “This is your foot doctor?”
Ben fumed. “Foot doctor? Not that again. Maddie, really.”
She still wanted to know what Bonnie Weir had to do with Flynn. “Hold on. Why did I just get an email from Bonnie Weir asking me about design help?”
Flynn’s expression lightened. “She contacted you already? Good.”
“Did you tell her to email me?” The surge of rage took her by surprise. How dare Flynn act like he owned her? Between Ben’s posturing and Flynn’s growls, she felt like a bone in a tug of war between two mangy dogs.
His slow smile stopped. “Yeah. She was talking to David about getting a professional to do some work for them on the development. A few predesigned houses in addition to the club house. I thought of you.”
“I take care of myself, Flynn. I don’t need your help. I’m doing fine on my own.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” Flynn shook his head. “This isn’t about me giving my girlfriend help, is it?”
“Girlfriend?” Ben scowled.
“I’m not your girlfriend.”
In a soft voice, Flynn asked the question she’d been asking herself for weeks, “Then what are you, Maddie? What are we?”
“I, we—”
“Are we a carbon copy of you and Ben? A pair who f*ck, hang out for a while, have some fun, then go our separate ways when you decide we’re done? What say do I have in this?”
Ben answered him. “If you’re like me, you won’t have one. I’m sorry, Maddie. I can see it was a mistake to come here.” He turned to leave but stopped at the doorway. “You never needed me, Maddie. That was the problem with us. It was your call, all of it. I only told you the answer you wanted to hear when I left.” He glanced at Flynn and shook his head. “Good luck, buddy. You’re going to need it.”
Ben left, but she and Flynn stood there staring at each other.
To her shock, she felt tears spill down her cheeks.
Flynn didn’t seem to care. His face was stony, his eyes dark. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little lovefest.”
Her temper rushed to the fore. “Screw you, Flynn. He was a surprise. But this, with you… it’s been a long time coming, I guess.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Is this where I get the man-up or man-out speech? Where you cut me off by the balls and tell me to stop clinging to you? I hate to break it to you, Maddie, but I’m not a p-ssy to be shoved around. Hell, you want the truth? I love you. I have feelings for you. Real feelings. And yeah, I mentioned your name to Bonnie and David. Because in my business, that’s what we do. I also mentioned Gary and Rick, friends who are electricians. It’s a way to hook up friends with potential clients. But if you’re not any good, you won’t get the job.”
“I don’t need your help. I’m not some charity case.” She clung to the idea he pitied her. No way he meant that part about loving her.
“Christ, you’re an idiot.”
“What?”
“It’s not charity to accept a reference. Do you really think it’s pitiful that my aunt mentions my company to anyone needing a good plumber?” He shook his head, looking at her as if he couldn’t stand the sight of her.
She sniffed and wiped her eyes, dismayed she couldn’t stop the tears. “It’s not the same.”
“Bullshit it’s not the same. How is it—”
“It’s not,” she shouted, shocking him to silence. “You’re great at what you do. You’re talented, smart, funny, handsome. You have an incredible family. Everyone you know loves you.”
“Except you.”
She talked over him. “I have to earn my way with every step. Every failure and every success. I don’t want to have to rely on a ‘boyfriend,’” she ended defensively with a sneer.
“Oh no. You’re not putting this shit on me. You want the truth? You don’t want to hear how I feel. You don’t want to know. You just want to bury your head and run away. Not needing anyone. God forbid you actually rely on me for anything. That you ask to come over to dinner or hang with my family without an official invitation. You like my dick, and you like my company until I’m an inconvenience. Then you just want me to go away.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is true. And you know what? I’m sick of it. Get your head out of your ass and think about what you want from me, and what you’re willing to give me. I’m not your foot doctor. I’m not going to come crawling back to you begging you to take me back. Figure out what’s important, Maddie.” He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t. He stormed away from the room and slammed his way out of the house.
She hadn’t noticed Abby standing at the office entrance, her eyes wide. And right next to her stood Vanessa. Maddie felt sick. As if she’d died but her body hadn’t yet caught up to the idea. Flynn had the audacity to act as if she was just using him for sex or casual company? Their first big fight and he wanted to throw in the towel?
“Boyfriend my ass.” She ended on a hiccup, burst into tears, and slumped back onto the love seat.
To her surprise, Vanessa didn’t comment. Her cousin left and returned minutes later with a hot cup of tea. Abby didn’t say anything either. She just sat with Maddie on the love seat, offering her support just by being there.
The three of them sat in silence for several moments, the occasional hitch in Maddie’s breath the only interruption until Vanessa drawled, “Well, you really stepped in it this time.”
Abby groaned. Maddie couldn’t hold back more tears.
“Flynn was right. He could have been a little nicer, sure, but Maddie, you need to listen. You’re smart and successful. I have no doubt you’ll one day have more money than both me and Abby combined.”
Abby frowned.
“But I’m worried about you. You never used to be like this. So afraid to take a chance. You seemed so happy with Flynn, so different with him. He never tried to control you, either. Not like Ben. He’s a genuinely nice guy. Abby and I have seen some of the losers you’ve dated.”
“Th-thanks a lot.” She sniffed.
“I hate to agree with Vanessa on this, but she’s right.” Abby patted her knee. “I’m sorry, Maddie. But you’re a little nutty when it comes to relationships. Flynn never pushed you for more than you wanted to give him, but he didn’t let you brush him away either. He’s the first guy I’ve ever known you with that you actually let close.”
“And now look. He broke my heart. The jerk.” She tried to stop the next crying jag before it started but couldn’t.
“For once, I think you have the right to cry.” Vanessa surprised her out of her tears. “You’re throwing away something great, Maddie.” She uttered the soft words with such sincerity Maddie couldn’t tune her out. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The way he treats you. Like you’re valuable but not breakable. He wants to help you, not hurt you. Why is it so hard for you to let him in? To let anyone in?” She reached for Maddie’s hand and held it tight. “You wouldn’t let me or Abby help you without paying us every last cent, and we’re family. Closer than sisters. What’s going on with you?”
Maddie didn’t know. “I just… It’s so hard for me to ask for help. It was Mom and me for so long. Vanessa, you don’t know what it was like. We didn’t have any money. Not any. I spent my days going to school and my nights helping my mom wait tables or clean houses. For a year we even lived in a shelter. Nothing was ever easy or free. It was all about surviving.”
Vanessa looked shocked. “Why didn’t you guys stay with us? We had plenty of room.”
“Why? So Grandma could tell Mom what a loser and slut she was? So I could hear how I was a mistake and we’d never amount to anything? And Vanessa, get real. Aunt Loretta and Uncle Scott barely tolerated our visits when we did come.”
Vanessa sighed. “You have a point. They barely tolerate mine.”
“It sounds to me like your problem is pride,” Abby offered. “We met in college. I’m not a part of your family’s past. I didn’t grow up with you, but you’ve told me how it was. Did you really like your mom making you work so hard? What would it have hurt if she’d asked for help for you? Not for her, for you? Maybe she’d have been called a few names or dealt with your pompous aunt and uncle.” She bit her lip. “No offense, Vanessa.”
“None taken.”
“I know what you’re both saying.” Maddie sniffed. “It’s just, Mom taught me to stand on my own feet. It’s not safe to rely on anyone but yourself, she always said. Then I lose my job, and it all comes crashing down.” She coughed, her heart sick, and admitted the root of the problem. “I don’t need Flynn feeling sorry for me.”
“Um, Maddie. I don’t think you heard him right.” Vanessa shook her head. “That man feels a lot of things for you. Sorry ain’t one of them.”
Abby agreed. “He did for you what he’d do for any of his friends. If you worked a job and someone needed a good plumber who wouldn’t rip them off, wouldn’t you recommend him?”
Vanessa smacked her in the back of the head.
“Ow!”
“Jesus, Maddie. Don’t be dense. You’re all but living in each other’s pockets and have been for weeks.”
“Not true.”
“Abby? Tell her.”
Abby sighed. “Yeah, well. Think about it, Maddie. You don’t like labels, we get that. But you and he are exclusive.”
“We’re friends with benefits. It’s just safe sex with someone I can trust.”
“It’s sex, period,” Abby emphasized. “You either spend your nights at his apartment or here. You spent time with his family the other night. And he’s had plenty of breakfasts in our kitchen.”
“Not that we mind,” Vanessa added. “Since he cleans up better than you do.”
Maddie surprised herself by laughing.
Abby continued. “He’s always doing stuff for you and trying so hard not to freak you out about it. I didn’t want to tell you about this, but who do you think got your printer and your software for you at such a great price? Because it wasn’t me.”
“But you said you did.”
Abby didn’t flinch. “I lied. Flynn gave me the stuff and told me not to say anything, because of your many issues. The guy knows you. And despite that, he loves you. Hell, he admitted it in there. Laid himself on the line.”
“Yep.” Vanessa nodded.
Abby sighed. “The guy has it so bad for you, Maddie. He’s spent weeks letting you keep him at arm’s length. Then you denied him—not his girlfriend?—in front of Ben and us.”
“But he left me.”
“Do you care?” Vanessa prodded.
“Of course I care.”
“Then, as Flynn said, get your head out of your ass, realize you want him, and talk to him about it.”
“The only man who might ever have truly loved me—for me—just walked out the door.” Hearing herself say it, Maddie wanted to pull her hair out and shriek. She was scared out of her mind she’d just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her. She felt so confused. She didn’t know what to do.
“I think you love him, you’re just too dense and terrified of admitting it.” Trust Vanessa to call it like she saw it. “Don’t you see? You’ve never shared yourself with anyone else the way you have with Flynn.”
Was Maddie in love? Could a Gardner feel that elusive emotion for a man? An emotion she’d always wanted but had been cautioned all her life to beware? It had ruined her mother, made her—
“Hey, Aunt Michelle? Yeah, it’s me, Vanessa. Hmm? I’m great. How are you?”
Why was Vanessa talking to her mom on Maddie’s phone?
“Well, that’s good. I’m sorry to be bugging you, but your daughter’s head is stuck so far up her butt she can’t see. She’s in love and she just kicked the man of her dreams out the door. Can you talk some sense into her? Please?”
Vanessa nodded, beamed, and tossed Maddie the phone. “Just remember, you owe me for this. Name the first girl Vanessa. Unless she’s ugly. Then name her Abigail.”
Abby frowned. “Damn it, Vanessa.”
Maddie brought the phone to her ear, still in shock over all that had transpired. “Um. H-hi. Mom?”
“Oh, baby. What can I do?”
Baby. What Flynn used to call her. She broke down in tears again.
The Troublemaker Next Door
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