“Well, come to the Lion tonight,” she says. “I’m working a short shift so Bram is meeting me there. I’m sure he’d like to read the article, too.” She looks at her phone to check the time. “Speaking of, I better drop Ava off at my mom’s and get ready.”
I hug the both of them goodbye, then order decaf. I don’t need the caffeine because I already feel like I’m flying. This article really has me all jazzed about life, which is kind of a weird thing in itself. And it’s scary. Because what if this doesn’t work out the way I want it to? What if Joe just takes the article, prints it, and that’s it? I go back to my regular job, being bored out of my mind. What if I work forever in advertising, doing the same old shit every single day? I don’t know if I can do it, now that I know something better is out there, something that makes me feel…alive. It would kind of be akin to living your life in darkness and someone giving you the sun. Okay, scratch that—that’s way too schmaltzy and dramatic. But still…it would suck balls. And not the good kind.
Naturally my thoughts drift to Lachlan after that. I really need to get that man out of my head, but every time I picture his face, that body, that gravelly voice that holds a million secrets, I get this rush inside me, like birds being let loose from a cage. That, combined with the article, and I feel like I’m starting to go a bit insane. Perhaps I just need to put my head down and conjure up that black shriveled heart of mine that doesn’t get too excited about anything.
But curiosity killed the Kayla, and later that evening I find myself at the Lion.
The moment I walk in, I’m accosted by drunken hollers and James’s angry music—Faith No More, again. It’s Saturday night and everyone in the city seems to be pre-drinking here before they hit the clubs. I quickly scan the bar, looking for Bram, but I keep making eye contact with a few guys that I know I shouldn’t. I have to admit, it would be nice to just find a cute one and have a random hookup. Maybe it’s the lack of sex that’s turning me into a crazy person. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it is. So much sexual frustration and no place for it to go.
But to be honest, even though getting laid would help in the short term, it wouldn’t do shit in the long term. I’d just feel empty afterward, because when it comes down to it, a random hookup with a random guy isn’t what I want at all. I know exactly what I want, and I can’t have it.
I spot Nicola at the bar, slinging drinks. She’s slammed, but as I come over, she catches my eye and gestures to the booths by the washroom. There’s a hint of warning in her eyes, which makes me pause, but she’s in no position to explain. People are practically throwing money at her. James, at the other end of the bar, gives me a nod but he’s equally busy.
I make my way through the crowd to the other side of the bar and finally see Bram sitting in the booth, nursing a few fingers of Scotch.
Sitting across from him is Lachlan, his big hand curled around what looks like a glass of water.
I hate to use the term clench, but that’s exactly what my body does when I see him. I clench, my thighs squeezing together, as if I can already imagine his cock inside me.
Damnit, I need help.
For a moment I stand there, wondering if maybe I should just turn around and leave. I’m only here because I want to talk to Bram about Lachlan, not actually see Lachlan, and the fact that he’s here makes me both turned on and absolutely terrified.
But then Lachlan looks up beneath his baseball cap and sees me. He doesn’t smile. That would be asking too much. But he stops frowning for a moment as he eyes me up and down, so I’ll take what I can get.
I swallow the lump in my throat, throw my shoulders back, and walk over to them, my eyes going from Lachlan to Bram and back to Lachlan again.
“Hey,” I say to them, standing at the end of the table.