This man.
I am so fucking in love with this man.
Then I’m hit with an aftershock, because holy shit.
Did I just admit that to myself? Did I just think that?
I did.
Luckily he’s looking back at Bubsy, that wonderful, reckless kind of hope in his eyes, another look that does me in, while I’m feeling lightheaded, breathless, unruly with the realization of my feelings.
Maybe it’s just that he’s this manly man standing in front of you, talking about how much he loves rescuing dogs, I think.
But of course it’s that. It’s many things. It’s everything.
And I’m completely head over heels in love with him.
His eyes flit to me and he frowns slightly. “There is almost always a happily ever after,” he says, and I have to blink at him to get back on track and understand what he means. “And unless we take the risk and bring them in, even if failure will break our bloody hearts, it’s worth it.”
Oh god, please don’t let him be talking in a metaphor for our own hearts.
He smiles at me and I have to look away because I can’t stand to lose my footing.
“Want to take a few for a walk? I’ll get Amara to join us.”
I nod, my tongue feeling thick, my brain stupid. Meanwhile my heart is fucking breakdancing in my chest because it’s finally discovered what love is.
The most wonderful, most terrifying feeling that life has ever had to offer.
I’m kind of in a daze when we go and get Amara. I hope I’m speaking to her correctly and making sense, because all I can really think about is Lachlan and love and that dire hope that maybe, somehow, love is something that you can turn off like a switch. Maybe this is just all lust wrapped up in a very sexy, soulful tatted bow. Maybe this is just adrenaline, the thrill of being overseas for the first time, the excitement of taking risks. Maybe it’s a lot of things.
But it doesn’t stop that feeling.
It’s a feeling you can’t even question.
Because it’s real, and it’s beating in a rhythm you never knew you could dance to, and it’s there. It is so fucking there and present and taking up every cell in my body.
I have to talk to Steph and Nicola. I have to get their advice. Coming to Scotland for hot passionate sex is one thing, but coming here and realizing you’re in love, on day one, is something else. It’s dangerous and futile and one more risk I have to take.
I can’t even snap out of it, so lost in my own thoughts, until Lachlan realizes he should head off to practice sooner rather than later. He tells me that Amara will take care of me and drop me off at his flat later. I have his spare key in my purse, just in case I’m home before him.
“See you later, love,” he says, pulling me to him, oh so gently, and leaving a lingering kiss on my lips.
I sigh against his mouth, my chest fluttering. “Okay,” I say breathlessly. “Good luck.”
He nods and leaves the shelter, and I’m just standing there like a fucking puddle of Kayla goo.
“So, who do you want?” Amara asks me, handing me a leash.
I gingerly take one in my hands, but have to shake my head to knock some sense into me. “Um, what?”
She smiles at me. She has a giant Madonna-sized gap between her front teeth that gives her this strangely sexy edge. “The dogs,” she says. “Which dog do you want to walk?”
“Oh,” I say. “Whichever one needs it most.”
“How about whatever dog is easier? Jo it is,” she says, heading over to Jo’s cage and opening the door. She waddles over to me, fat belly swinging from side to side, and immediately stares up at me like I’m going to take her home and never let her go. Even black hearts don’t stand a chance here.
“She’s Lachlan’s favorite,” Amara says, snapping the leash on Jo and giving me a knowing look. “Though I think you might be Lachlan’s favorite too.”