“People you ... what did you say?”
He stood, went over to her, and grabbed her hands, pulling her to stand. “Come on, Tara. Surely by now you’ve figured out how I feel about you.”
“No, I had no idea. We’ve never talked about it.”
“Well, let’s talk about it.” His lips lifted in a hopeful smile.
Oh, God. Her mind was awash in all the pain, in what this could mean. In what she’d hoped for. And in the agony she’d been through today. All she could think about was the pain and the fear. She pushed against him. “No, don’t. I ... can’t, Mick.”
His smile died. “What? Why? I just told you I loved you.”
“Don’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t do this. Please. You have to leave.”
He frowned, tried to hold her, but she stepped back, needing distance, needing him to go.
“Tara. It’s going to be okay, I promise. I’ll make sure that video is run everywhere.”
“It’s not that, Mick. You don’t understand. Tell Liz I appreciate her making amends, but you and me? I can’t do this anymore.”
She backed farther away, but he wouldn’t allow it, kept following her.
“What do you mean, you can’t do this? I say I love you, and you push me away? I don’t get it.”
“We’ve had a great time this summer, Mick. But it’s over. Your life and mine just don’t mesh. I have my career and Nathan. You have your career. And the two just don’t fit well.”
She’d hit the front door, and he was in front of her now. She had nowhere else to go. He didn’t touch her, but his body was inches from hers. “We fit. Perfectly.”
She shook her head. “No, we don’t. I can’t live in your world, and neither can my son. Your life is parties and trips and magazine covers and the news and it’s just not what I want for Nathan.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way, Tara. That was just Liz building up my image.”
“And you need that for your career. But I need a little breathing room. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and for Nathan. Now I just need some space. Nathan will be starting school soon, and he needs to focus on that, not on your crazy lifestyle.”
“It can be like that.”
The tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back. “Please go.”
“Do you love me, Tara?”
Her heart wrenched as she lied to him. “No. I had fun with you this summer, but I don’t love you, Mick.”
He gave her a curt nod. “Okay.”
She opened the door for him, and he walked away without looking at her. She shut the door and locked it, then rested her head on it, listening to the sound of his car starting up and driving away.
She let the tears come then. She was doing the right thing. For Nathan and for herself.
But why did it hurt so much?
MICK SAT IN THE VISITOR’S LOCKER ROOM AFTER THE opening game. He’d mentally and physically prepared and given his all for his team today. And they’d won, thirty-seven to seventeen over Saint Louis. He’d given postgame interviews to the media, put his best winning swagger on, rehashed the great plays, talked with optimism about the upcoming season and his thoughts on how well he thought his team would do. He’d done everything required of him, and when the players and media left, he’d let it all crumble around him.
A week after Tara had thrown him out of her life he still couldn’t let her go.
He loved her. And goddamn it, she loved him, too. He knew she did, and he wasn’t going to let her toss it all away just because she was scared.
“What the hell are you doing in here all by yourself?”
He smiled and turned to see Gavin leaning against the wall inside the door.
“Shouldn’t you be playing baseball?”
“My game was earlier today in Kansas City, so I got in a while ago. Heard about you and Tara. Sorry.”
“Mom blabs.”
Gavin pushed off the wall and sat down on the bench next to him. “She cares. You know how she is with us. If we’re hurting, she hurts.”
Mick didn’t say anything.
“You love her?”
“I do.”
“But she doesn’t love you.”
Mick tilted his head toward Gavin. “She does love me. She’s scared. This whole thing has freaked her out.”
“Man, I don’t know jack about this love thing. She loves you, so she kicked you to the curb?”
“I hurt her.”
“Liz hurt her.”
“No, that’s on me. I should have put some reins on Elizabeth. She thought any PR was good for me. I should have been monitoring what she was doing. Plus I knew Liz didn’t like Tara. I wasn’t focused, wasn’t paying attention. When you love someone, it’s your job to protect them. And I didn’t do my job.”
“It’s not all your fault, man. You can’t be everything to everybody.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Gavin. I should have seen this coming, and I didn’t. I have to own it. I just have to figure out how to make it right. And I don’t know if I can.”