The Paper Swan

Damian didn’t just work with explosives, he was a slow, burning fuse, waiting to detonate. The bad-ass vibe that surrounded him both thrilled and intimidated the girls. The fact that he was removed—unattainable and uninterested—only spurred their desire for him. But Damian steered clear of romantic liaisons, the heady flush of first love, the sweaty palms and stuttered words, the sweet, painful yearning for a lover’s kiss. He remembered his first kiss, the night of the initiation ceremony, but not the lips or the face. El Charro had thrown a party in honor of the new sicarios. Food and booze and drugs and women. Damian had been introduced to the world of sex, and it suited him to keep his involvement limited to women who were paid to please him. Relationships were a weakness he did not allow himself.

 

Every year, Damian left a bouquet of Mexican sunflowers on MaMaLu’s grave. He picked the deepest orange blossoms with the brightest centers. MaMaLu was buried in Paza del Mar, in the cemetery behind the church of Archangel Michael—the same church where Damian had made his first drop for El Charro, the same church he had attended as a boy with MaMaLu. Her grave was surrounded by those of all the other dead, unclaimed prisoners from Valdemoros—a pile of rocks with a plain slab, engraved with her name and prisoner number. There was no date of death, because someone had forgotten to jot it down, and it broke Damian’s heart that she had been robbed of that dignity. Damian did not get a new stone for MaMaLu. He needed that reminder. Every year, when he saw that incomplete slab, the fire in him blazed higher, and he needed it to burn eternally so he could take a chisel and hammer to the hearts of the two men who had put her there, and carve out retribution. Then, and only then, would he get MaMaLu a proper tombstone.

 

Once when Rafael came to visit Damian over the holidays, they drove to La Sombra, the cantina where Rafael’s parents had worked. It was still El Charro’s domain, one of the many bases he frequented. A new couple ran the place. They were younger than Juan Pablo and Camila. The woman’s smudged apron strained against her pregnant belly. Damian and Rafael could not bring themselves to eat there, so they bought fish tacos from a street vendor.

 

“I would never have survived if it wasn’t for you,” said Rafael. He was thirteen, but tall for his age. “You saved my life.”

 

They were sitting on the hood of the car, outside Casa Paloma.

 

“I saved my life, Rafael.” He knew Rafael was thinking about a small, blood-splattered room in the mountains. “If you were in my way, I’d have taken you out. Make no mistake about it.”

 

Rafael took a swig of beer and laughed. “You like to think you’re all cojones, no corazón. All balls, no heart. But I know better.”

 

“You don’t know shit.” Damian walked up to the tall, wrought iron gates of the now-lifeless estate.

 

Casa Paloma was in disarray. Tall, thorny weeds had taken over the garden. All the windows were boarded up, and the lock that Victor had chained to the main gate was gritty with rust. Damian liked that. It felt just like his memories of the place—chained and dead and abandoned.

 

Keep Out.

 

This was the place where MaMaLu had fallen victim to the politics of wealth and power, to greedy men with a sense of entitlement that left them with no remorse for the lives they destroyed.

 

“One day I’m going to own this place,” said Damian, when they got back in the car.

 

One day, he was going to bring down Warren with the same weapons he had used against MaMaLu: money and ruthlessness. One day, he was going to rob Warren of everything he held precious.

 

“Is that before or after you destroy El Charro?” asked Rafael, rolling his eyes. He wished Damian would give up his quest. El Charro was invincible and he didn’t want his friend getting hurt.

 

Damian doubted if El Charro remembered the nanny who had come chasing after a little girl and chanced upon a meeting of black crows. No. El Charro was the scavenger of carrion. One dead body was no different from another. Damian was not going to waste his time trying to make him remember. El Charro didn’t deserve explanations or justifications. He deserved fire and ashes, an incinerating descent to hell.

 

“First El Charro, then Warren Sedgewick.” Damian started the engine. “Then I take the place where it all began.”

 

As they drove away, Damian did not think of Skye. He never once thought of Skye. She was locked up in a room with windows that were boarded up with sheets of plywood. And Damian always, always stayed away from strawberries and gap-toothed girls with hair like spun gold.

 

 

 

The rivalry between the Sinaloa cartel and Los Zetas was escalating. Every day bodies were turning up in the ditches; blood was flowing in the gutters. El Charro called a meeting of his most trusted allies and advisers.

 

“Damian,” he said, examining the ‘C’ he had just carved into the victim at his feet. “My blade needs replacing.” He handed Damian his cane.

 

Every year, Damian took El Charro’s cane to a blacksmith in Caboras, who fitted it with a new, razor-sharp, custom piece.

 

“We are meeting at the new warehouse in Paza del Mar tomorrow. 3 pm. Have it fixed by then,” said El Charro. “Comandante 21, look after these bodies.” He stepped over them, holding a handkerchief to his nose.

 

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