The Moment of Letting Go

“What’s your opinion on Norway?” I hear Luke say.

Confused by the question, I look over at him. He’s staring down into the pages of a magazine.

“Norway?” I ask curiously. “Well … I don’t really have an opinion,” I tell him. “I’ve never given it much thought, I guess. What do you mean exactly?”

He glances over at me. “Oh, I just mean if you’ve ever been, or have you ever thought of going there?”

“Nope, never been. And I can’t say I’ve ever thought about going, either.”

Luke flips a page of the magazine and then rests his hand on the text.

“I’m going there in a month,” he says. “I guess you can call it a vacation.”

Crossing my arms over the top of my purse, I adjust my back against the seat so that I’m sitting at an angle, facing him somewhat.

“I thought since you do so much traveling for your job,” he goes on, “you might’ve visited Norway—could’ve given me some firsthand insight.”

“Nah,” I say. “I’ve never traveled outside of the United States. Jamaica was going to be my first really big trip.”

He smiles and closes the magazine on his lap. “Well, I’m glad you decided to hang out with me instead.”

“Me too.”

Silence ensues.

“Why Norway? Though I admit, it’d be awesome to see the fjords.”

Luke shrugs and glances at the magazine cover briefly, then back over at me. “It’s just a place I’ve been planning to go for a couple of years with my brother and our friends. Part of a multi-stop trip. China, then Norway, then Switzerland …” He stops and gazes out ahead of him. A sort of sadness rests in his pensive features. “… well, I didn’t make the China trip, but I … well, I just had too much work to do and it wasn’t a good time to be taking a vacation.”

He rests his back against the seat and crosses his arms over his stomach. I can’t put my finger on it, but it I get the feeling there’s far more to his story than what he’s letting on.

I rest against my seat, too, and decide to change the subject, only because it seems like the thing to do.

“So does your brother—Landon is his name, right?—does he live with you on Kauai?” That might explain why I have yet to meet him.

A knot moves down the center of Luke’s throat, and for a moment he doesn’t answer. Then finally his head falls to the side and he says with a gentle expression, “Nah, Landon went to China as planned and never came back.” He laughs bitterly and his smile lengthens. “I guess he liked it too much.”

The smile fades as his head moves to face forward again, where he stares off in front of him and says no more. I get the feeling he’s not OK with his brother’s choices; that shifty smile and the dark undertone of his voice bled sarcasm.

“I bet you miss him.”

He looks over, quiet and mysterious at first, as if contemplating, and then his eyes soften on me, and his mouth begins to turn up again. “Yeah, I do, but I’d say right now you’re giving him some real competition.”

My heartbeat quickens; I press my lips together to keep from smiling.

I have dozens of questions about Luke and his brother, Kendra and his other friends, and about the trip to China they were all supposed to take together, but this seems like sensitive territory to me even though he’s the one who brought it up.

Reluctantly I ask, “Well, do you still talk to him?”

He hesitates and then nods, but doesn’t look at me. “Yeah, every now and then.”

He says nothing more on the issue. And neither do I.

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