The Mistake

But at the same time, it’s yet another reminder that I won’t be in the league.

“Connor earned that first-round pick. The kid is faster than lightning.”

Garrett chews slowly, a thoughtful glimmer in his eyes. “What about Rogers? Think he’ll make the Hawks roster? Or get sent down to the farm team?”

I mull it over. “Farm team,” I answer, albeit reluctantly. “I think they’ll want to develop him more before they set him loose on the world.”

“Yeah, me too. He’s not the best stick handler. And too many of his passes don’t connect.”

We continue talking hockey as we devour the entire pizza, and eventually I crank open the beer, though I only take a sip or two. I’m not looking for a buzz tonight. Actually, I haven’t felt like partying at all lately. If I’m being honest, my mood’s been in the dumpster since that night with Tori last month.

“So what’s Wellsy planning to do in the fall?” I ask him. “Is she moving in or what?”

Garrett is quick to shake his head. “Nope. First off, I would’ve asked you guys if it was cool before making that kind of decision. But she doesn’t want to, anyway. It made sense for the summer because our place is so close to her work, but she and Allie are definitely rooming together again when the semester starts.”

“Does she know yet what she wants to do after graduation?”

“No clue. She’s got a whole year to figure it out, though.” Garrett goes quiet for a beat. “Hey, you know Wellsy’s friend Meg?”

I nod, picturing the pretty drama major, who, last I remember, has a boyfriend who’s kind of a douche. “Yeah. She’s going out with that Jimmy guy, right?”

“Jeremy. And they broke up.” Garrett hesitates again. “Hannah asked if maybe you wanted her to set you two up. Meg’s fun. You might like her.”

I shift in my chair, uncomfortable. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m not interested in a set-up.”

He brightens. “Does that mean the freshman you’ve been obsessing over finally decided to forgive you?”

After the Stanley Cup game, I had confessed to Garrett about the whole Grace situation, the whiskey I’d consumed loosening my tongue and causing me to give him a sordid play-by-play of V-Night, which is what I’m calling that final hook-up. Now I regret telling him, because talking about her brings an ache to my chest.

“She still won’t talk to me,” I admit. “It’s over, man.”

“Shit. That sucks. So I assume you’re back to drilling anything in a skirt?”

“No.” My turn to pause. “I almost slept with this older chick a few weeks ago.”

He grins. “How much older?”

“She’s…twenty-seven, I think? She’s a teacher here in town. Smoking hot.”

“Nice. Are you—wait, what do you mean, almost?”

I awkwardly sip my beer. “Couldn’t go through with it.”

He looks startled. “Why not?”

“Because…it was…” I struggle to find the right adjective to describe that disastrous night with Tori. “I don’t know. I went back to her place, fully intending to fuck her brains out, but when she tried to kiss me, I just bailed. It felt…empty, I guess.”

“Empty,” he echoes, sounding bewildered. “What does that mean?”

Fuck if I can explain it. Since I started college, I haven’t passed up many opportunities to get laid. The way I saw it, I might as well live in the moment and take all the pleasure I can get, because tomorrow I’m going to be a goddamn mechanic, living a hollow existence in the shithole that is Munsen. But the night I went to Tori’s was…equally hollow.

I raise the beer to my lips again, but this time I down half the can. Christ, everything about my life depresses the shit out of me.

Garrett watches me, deep concern etched into his face. “What’s going on, man?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You look like your dog just died.” He abruptly glances around the clearing. “Oh shit, did your dog die? Do you have a dog? I suddenly realized I know nothing about your life here.”

He’s right. This is only the second time he’s been here in the three years I’ve known him. I’ve always made sure to keep my home life separate from my school one.

Not that Garrett wouldn’t be able to relate. I mean, his father isn’t exactly a prince, either. A part of me is still shocked that Garrett’s father used to hit him. Phil Graham is hockey royalty around these parts, and I used to idolize him when I was growing up, but ever since Garrett told me about the abuse, I can’t even hear the man’s name without wanting to shove a skate in his chest and twist. Hard.

So yeah, I guess I could have shared my own crappy upbringing when Garrett shared his. I could have told him about my father’s drinking. But I hadn’t, because it’s not something I like to talk about.

But right now? I’m tired of keeping it all inside.

“You want to know about my life here?” I say flatly. “Two words—it sucks.”

Garrett rests his beer on his knee and meets my eyes. “How so?”