But mainly we just talk music, like we used to. Recent and old stuff. And Jakes music.
I haven’t spoken to anyone about music in the way I’m speaking to Jake now. Not in all my time at university while studying it, and not even in all the time I’ve worked at the magazine.
It’s how we used to talk about it, with real passion. And to me Jake was and is music, it’s what glued us together, and now it’s like a dam is opening back up and everything Jake is just flowing out of me.
One thing I don’t talk about it is Will. And he doesn’t ask.
I also notice he doesn’t mention Jonny. It must still be so raw for him to talk about.
I also notice he’s only had the one beer all night. I’m glad because he’s driving. I like that he’s being responsible. Because the Jake I’m used to seeing in the news, never appears responsible, despite all his success.
But the more time I spend with him, the more I feel like there are two Jake’s.
The one the world sees, and the one I’m getting to see here. The one I used to know.
I’ve kept light on the drink too. Funny, because earlier I thought I would need it to get me through the night. But not at all.
This is one of the best nights I have had in a long time.
We talk for hours, and when we’re finished, Jake calls Stuart to let him know he needs him to bring the car, then he pays the bill.
“Let me pay my half,” I press, as we walk to the exit.
He laughs. “No Tru. Just call it birthday present number one of twelve.”
“I owe you twelve birthday presents too, remember?”
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten. I’ll start collecting on them soon.”
And there it is, that flirty undertone again.
No wonder women are always throwing themselves at him. I’m having a pretty difficult time myself not doing just that.
Jake gestures for me to go first up the stairs.
“You still eat like a dude,” he says from behind me. “But your ass is definitely all woman.”
I gasp.
Pausing, I turn and look at him, agape.
“What?” he feigns innocence, stopping behind me, but I can see the look in his eyes and he’s close, so very close to me. “I told you I’d let you know what I thought of your ass, and I’m telling you it’s perfect. Even better than I remember.”
Eyes back front and I’m up those stairs quick march. My insides turning over with embarrassment and want.
Okay, there I’ve said it. I want Jake.
He’s beautiful and sexy, and flirty. And he’s a rock star. And he was my boy next-door. But of course nothing is ever going to happen.
Because he’s Jake Wethers … and I’m just Trudy Bennett.
And also I have a boyfriend, which is actually reason number one.
Stuart is there waiting with the James Bond car, just like Jake said he would be. His security guy in his car behind, ready to follow us.
The ride back to my place with Jake is a lot quieter than we were in the restaurant.
I’m not really sure why for him. But for me it’s because I feel sad that the night is over, more than likely I won’t ever see him again. Well apart from on the TV that is.
He’s pulls up outside my place way too quickly for my liking.
“Thanks for dinner,” I say taking off my seatbelt, turning in my seat. “I had a great time.”
“Me too.” His voice sounds deeper, huskier in the dark.
It does funny things to me.
I don’t want to get out of the car, I have that same feeling of loss I had when I was leaving him at the hotel, but at least then I knew I was seeing him tonight, but now the night’s over and I don’t have any reason to see him again.
“So, I guess I’ll go in, thanks again for the pizza and beer.”
I reach for the handle, just clicking open the door, when he says, “I’ll walk you to your door. Too many weirdo’s about in London. I want to make sure you get in okay.”
Pushing open the door, I smile to myself as I exit the car. Jake gets out at the same time. My front door is only thirty feet away, I hardly think anything is going to happen to me in thirty feet.
Jake walks me up my path, and I get that feeling of being a teenager again. Butterflies and giddiness. The way I would feel when I was crazy about him back then and, he would look at me and my insides would just go nuts.
I reach my door and fish my keys out of my bag.
Should I invite him in? I guess it would be rude not to. Even though Simone will die of heart failure when she sees him.
“Do you want to come in for a coffee?” I gesture.
He looks at my door, then at my face. “I’ve got an early start tomorrow. I really should get back to the hotel.”
A no then.
“Oh, okay, sure.” I try not to sound as disappointed as I feel.
Not very rock star sounding to need his sleep … Oh God … I was just blown out wasn’t I.