Chapter Seventeen
Sawyer made his way toward the basement and followed the sounds of grunting. Three a.m. The time of night terrors and ghosts that took flight. He pushed open the door and found Wolfe in the middle of the mat, going at the punching bag like rocky in the final round with Apollo Creed.
Sweat gleamed from Wolfe’s skin. His focus told a deeper story, and Sawyer felt a pang at how distant he’d been lately with the boy. He’d missed workouts this week, not ready to face him while he wondered about the status of his marriage.
Wolfe didn’t deserve to be around emotional conflict or deal with his whiny shit. He deserved more than that.
Sawyer dropped his bottle of water and towel, waiting for him to finish.
Wolfe tore off the gloves and panted for breath.
“Nice jabs. But your hooks still suck.” Sawyer waited for his smart-mouthed comeback, but the boy ignored him.
He turned his back and grabbed his own bottle of water, chugging it down. “Hard night?”
Wolfe wiped his mouth and glared at him. “What do you care?”
Sawyer jerked back. “Listen, I’m sorry I missed a few of our sessions. you know work has been killing me. Purity has to come first.”
“Got no problem with that. Just don’t like lies.”
He frowned. “I’m not lying. I can’t let up until opening, and even then the first year will take everything I got. I thought you were on board with that.”
Blue eyes glittered with banked rage. “you think I’m stupid, man? you think I don’t know you’re thinking of taking off?” He gave a bark of laughter. “I’m the king of that move, so don’t try to pretend it’s about Purity. It’s about Julietta. Me. Us, together. This whole thing is not working for you, and you got itchy feet. Fine, I don’t give a shit. Just be a man and tell us to our faces instead of this bullshit about work.”
The ground roared up and swallowed him whole.
Sickness churned his stomach. Dear God, Wolfe believed he was cutting out on him, just like everyone did in his life beforehand. He shook his head hard and took a step forward. “Listen, Wolfe, you’re wrong. Dead wrong. I am not leaving you, and I never will. We’re a team going forward.
I’m just going through some shit with Julietta, but I’ll figure it out.”
Wolfe made a low growl deep in his throat and backed off. “Lie. I see the way you look at me now, at her. Like you can’t wait to get away from us. We remind you of something we’ll never be able to fix. It’s just a matter of time before you bolt. But I’m not waiting around for it. I like Julietta; she’s given me more respect than I ever had, other than you. She makes me want to do better. I’m not going to hang around while you tear her apart and then start on me. I’ve been down this road, man. I’m done.”
Panic hit. Sawyer scrambled for balance. “you’re important to me, damnit! I don’t want you to leave, and I’m not going to bolt. even if this thing doesn’t work out with Julietta, I’ll never let you down. I can’t let anyone else down again!”
The boy studied him in the dim light. Foo Fighters blared in the background. In those endless blue depths, Sawyer saw a deep truth that shook him. An understanding and disappointment so ingrained there was nothing he’d be able to utter to wipe away the doubts.
Because Sawyer knew the boy was right.
He was a liar. He couldn’t live in his own skin any longer, especially with everything he loved and dreamed of and hoped for right in front of him. A wife he loved. A son to care for. A home and a family. everything he’d never believed in, so he was taking off before it could blow up in his face.
Wolfe twisted his lips and hung the towel around his neck. “I understand, man. you’re not letting us down; you’re just doing what we all do. Coping. I was wrong to believe there was something more. Not your fault.” He walked past him toward the door. “I’ll finish up until Purity opens, then I’m going back to New york. Don’t jerk Julietta around anymore. Not when you already have your mind made up to leave.”
Wolfe disappeared.
Sawyer dropped to the bench and slumped against the wall. His instincts roared at him to go after Wolfe and prove the boy wrong. Drag Julietta out of bed and admit his cowardice, tell her he’d fight for her, for Wolfe, for all of them. But all he heard was his foster father’s taunt-ing words reminding him over and over he’d never be enough. Gossip would be gleeful, especially considering his current limelight with his new hotel chain. The press had been trying to hook him up for years, and any nega-tive story would involve Julietta and eventually La Dolce Famiglia. And what about Wolfe? What if they discovered the boy lived with them and they began prying into his past? He couldn’t risk it.
Letting them go might be the biggest gift he had to offer.
They deserved everything.
Sawyer rose from the bench and headed toward the free weights. He wouldn’t come out of the room until his body was completely drained and shaking with exhaustion.
Maybe then he’d find a sliver of peace.
…
He walked the site and took note of the new developments with a tingle of pride. His vision shimmered before him, almost complete. The details were finally coming together to complete a portrait of exotic lushness paired with an envi-ronment that welcomed travelers home, with all the mod-ern luxuries, from a dedicated technology and video room for business executives needing to Skype and hold online meetings, to the pampering spa, pools, hot tubs, and steam rooms. The rich textures of polished marble, glittering crystals, plush velvet, and rich mahogany conjured old and new worlds. He’d used his private art collection to make sure the main rooms inspired, like a high-class art gallery for his guests.
Sawyer closed his eyes for a moment and pictured the hotel full, his dream finally complete. And wondered why the culmination of his goal beat like a hole in his heart.
empty. Void. Dead.
“Hey, it’s looking good, man.”
Sawyer turned toward Max. A flicker of guilt trickled through him. Blowing off the family dinner had been a visible slap in the face to Julietta and everyone else. Wishing he knew a different way to handle it, Sawyer shook Max’s hand and forced a smile. “Thanks. Listen, sorry I couldn’t do dinner last night. Got caught up in the office. Hope you understand.”
“Sure. We’ve all been there, especially around a new opening. Can I talk to you a sec?”
Warning bristled his nerves. “Sorry, got a meeting.
Maybe later.”
“Just a minute. Please?”
Coldness seeped through his veins. “okay.” He led Max up the stairs and into the shell of what would be his private office. The empty room was devoid of furniture and details, confirming it couldn’t be a long talk. “What’s up?”
“Julietta told me what was going on with you. Blackmail.
Not any details, just the bare bones of some a*shole with threats. Wanted to see if you needed any help.”
“Appreciate the gesture. But I got it handled. Thanks.”
He began walking out, but Max didn’t move. Sawyer’s heart stuttered in an uneven rhythm. “Not done yet,” Max said. Sawyer stiffened in preparation. “See, I don’t think you have it handled. I think you believe you’re in this alone and need to fix something from years ago that you had no control over. Problem is, you’re married to Julietta now. you’re stuck with a family, and we don’t let one of our own deal with this shit alone. you probably know as many people as I do, but not the same type. I know a guy. So this is how it’s gonna work. you give me a name. And you don’t get con-tacted again. Capisce?”
In the Twilight Zone of the conversation, Sawyer’s lip quirked with humor. “Did you really say the words ‘I know a guy’? Have I been recruited into a bad episode of Mobsters?”
Max didn’t smile. “I’m not f*cking around, Sawyer.”
He realized his friend was dead serious. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m handling it.”
“By pulling away from your wife? From Wolfe? By tor-turing yourself with what-ifs you can’t change?”
“How much did she tell you?”
Max shrugged. “Not much. But I’ve known you for a long time. We’ve been friends awhile, and though we don’t talk about your past, I’m not an idiot. I know shit happened.
I know who you are today and what type of man you be-came. That’s what matters.”
The truth hit him in the face like a belly flop. “Jesus, I didn’t expect this heart-to-heart.” His nerves rubbed raw against the look on Max’s face. A need to share and to trust him rose up. “you were wrong, Max,” he said softly. “I’m not good enough. Julietta needs someone who can make her happy. Love her the way she deserves. Keep her safe.
It’s not me.”
“yes it is. But you gotta believe it before it can happen.” Max leaned against the empty wall. “When Carina and I finally got together, we had a lot of work to do. We played this ridiculous game of back-and-forth. I didn’t think I could ever be good enough for her. She was a woman meant for family, marriage, a commitment. But she never let up until I caved. When we got married, I realized it’s not about being good enough. It’s just about loving them enough to want to be good enough. We all deserve that shot. especially you. By the time I got my act together, Carina had gone through the same thing. Not believing in herself or who she was. It took a while, but she got there, and I waited. See, there’s no perfect person out there for Julietta, dude. you’re already screwed. She loves you, and when one of the Conte sisters falls, you don’t get away.
you can run as far and fast as you want, but I bet she’ll be waiting for you when you get there.” Max shook his head.
“They are some seriously scary women when they want someone.”
Max’s words dived deep and latched on. A crazy flicker of hope lit. “I don’t know.”
“I figured. Listen, we leave for the airport tonight.
Would be nice for you to see us out. I know Michael and Nick wanted to say good-bye. Flight’s at six. Come on by real quick when you’ve had some time to think about it. See, we take care of each other, no strings attached. Whether you want the help or not, Sawyer, you got it. Not only do I know ‘a guy,’ but I have some excellent lawyers, too. Hope to see you later.”
Max walked up and gave him a brief hug.
Sawyer watched him disappear, the words frozen in his throat. Fear and want mingled in a flood that drowned him.
Max had thrown him a lifeline.
Now he just had to decide whether or not to use it.
…
Julietta waited while her sister hung on to Mama with the fierceness the baby in the family always experienced. Carina blinked away tears when she finally separated herself. “I don’t want to let you go yet,” she whispered, clinging to her hand.
Mama Conte squeezed her in one last tight hug. “I know, sweet girl. But your life is back in New york, and it’s time to return. Will you send me one of your latest paintings? one with no nakedness in it?”
Carina sniffed. “yes. Promise. Michael’s working on getting you to the States for another visit soon.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
Julietta watched as Maggie and Alexa got their hugs and headed out toward the car. “Are you coming to the airport with us?” Maggie asked.
“yes, I’m not ready to say good-bye yet. I’ll follow you and leave from there.”
“I’ll go with you.”
She turned toward Wolfe and smiled. “Thanks. I know Dante will want to give you a last purr before he leaves.”
She watched as the boy petted the cat through the carrier.
Carina hooked her arm through Julietta’s and pulled her away. “Tell Sawyer we said good-bye. I’m sorry he couldn’t come.”
Grief sprang up and choked her. “I know Max tried to talk to him. I’m not giving up. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for a man like him. I’m going to fight as hard as I did when Luigi’s Bakery tried to steal our recipes and put us out of business.”
Carina laughed. “They never had a shot against you.
Neither does Sawyer. Make sure you keep me up to date, okay?”
“As long as you don’t bother me with any more love spells.”
Carina sighed. “I don’t know what happened; it’s the oddest thing. Worked with all three of us.”
“Just goes to show I’m always the fluke.”
Her sister punched her lightly in the arm. “Not true.
your road to true love just took a few hard turns. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Let’s get you guys to the airport.”
They climbed into the car and took off.
…
Sawyer stared at the door. They were probably gone. Still, he’d tried. Max’s words had beaten in his head like a mantra all day. He’d struggled about taking the step to come here today, but he still didn’t feel as if he should belong to such a group.
Sawyer turned and decided to go home. Stay with his first instinct to remove himself. It would be easier.
Mama Conte opened the door. “you missed them. They left for the airport.”
He dragged his feet like a child in trouble. “Sorry, Mama Conte. I’ll catch Julietta later at home.”
She opened the door wider. “Not yet. Come in for a moment.”
“Umm, I—”
“Now.”
He walked in. The house was still and perfectly clean.
She led him into the kitchen, and he took his usual seat.
She brewed him a cup of espresso in silence, set it in front of him, and slid into a chair. Sawyer sipped the steaming brew and hoped to God she wasn’t going to give him a hard time.
He couldn’t take any more.
“Do you know why I made you marry my daughter?”
He looked up. “For La Dolce Famiglia.”
She waved a hand through the air. “I couldn’t care less about the bakery. yes, it’s important, but not as important as my children’s happiness. No, Sawyer Wells, I did it because I knew you were meant to be the one she loves. I also knew neither of you would have entertained the idea unless I forced it. Both stubborn. Both workaholics. Both convinced love is an illusion and marriage an impossibility.”
All the doubts reared up. His words came out clipped and hard. “you were wrong. I told you before when you first hatched this crazy plan. I’ve done things. Failed people. I’m not who you believe I am, and Julietta and Wolfe deserve better.”
She spat in disgust. “Crazy talk. We all have a past, some harder than others. We all have scars, either physical or emotional or both. Do you remember when I met you at the bar and I told you about karma? you had a choice to make that night. your life could have gone in either direc-tion. you could have argued you were forced to take the wrong path because of your past—because of what you thought you deserved. But in that moment, you reached for more. Nothing held you from that except your own be-lief. Not others. Today, you face the same decision. you can fight for my daughter, the woman you love. you can fight for Wolfe and watch as he grows. or you can take the other path and talk about what you are destined for, because of this past that you say owns you.”
Her words hammered home and splintered the crum-bled wall behind his heart. Halfway torn down by Julietta, chipped away by his friend’s words, the final blow smashed the last obstacle. All that remained was a mess of rioting emotions, raw and vulnerable and pulsing with scars.
His voice broke. Sawyer bowed his head. “I don’t know if I can.”
She rose and came to him. Strong arms held him with no apology, no hesitation. She stroked his hair like a mother would, soothing him with her warmth and safety and be-liefs. “My sweet boy, yes, you can. your life is your own.
you were a child and could not protect the ones you loved.
None of us can. So instead, we choose to love as much as possible, and that needs to be enough.”
She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Tears stung his eyes as he hugged her back. “My daughter does not choose wrong. you are who she wants, and she will not let you go easily. Let her choose you, and know you are enough.”
The seconds ticked by. The wounds scabbed over, and a strange peace radiated from his gut. once again, he was in front of that door in the hotel, a video camera gripped in his hands. A choice. His choice.
“Where is she?”
Mama Conte pulled back and smiled. “She went to the airport to see them off. you can still catch them.”
“Thank you.”
“Prego. Now go.”
He stood up and hugged her again. Then raced out the door.
…
Michael’s jet was fueled and ready to go. Heart heavy to see her family go, Julietta milled in the main lobby section before the security checkpoint and said her final farewells. Michael gripped her hard and raised her off the ground. “Stay strong,”
he murmured in her ear. She figured Max had given him a heads-up, but his strength and support eased her heart.
“I will. Take care of my nephews.”
“Si.”
Alexa shifted Maria in her arms; she had fallen fast asleep on the drive over. “Thank you for your hospitality, Julietta. I can’t wait to go home and try out all these new recipes.”
“Perhaps I’ll take a trip to New york to see your home.
I’ll see what I can do with my schedule.”
“I’d love that.”
Maggie and Carina gave her another hug. “Bye, sis. We love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Call if you need us. For anything.”
“I will.”
They turned in a mass group and began moving toward the checkpoint.
“Wait!”
everyone stopped. Sawyer ran through the crowds, dodging and whizzing past strollers and luggage and security. He skidded to a halt in front of them, out of breath, his cashmere coat and bright purple tie symbols of stylish civility. His face reflected the opposite—a mass of naked emotion, his scar highlighted under the garish airport lighting.
Joy exploded through Julietta. “you came.”
Her family moved toward him, but he put out his hands.
“Stop. I have something to say.”
Julietta stilled. Wolfe stiffened beside her. Amidst the chaos, a frozen silence clouded around the group, half ter-rified of the words that would finally be spoken aloud. Her heart exploded in rapid beats that choked her breath. She fought through the fear and hoped that by sending Max, she hadn’t broken him.
His beautiful tiger eyes lit with uncertainty. His gaze skimmed the group as a whole, then came to rest on her.
“I can’t do this anymore. To my wife. To Wolfe. To everyone.”
“Please.” She cleared her throat, desperate to stop him.
“Please, don’t.”
“I have to. I have to do this now.” He dragged in a lung-ful of air. “I’m a complete a*shole. I pushed you past your limits and promised I’d be there to help you. But I wasn’t.
The first sign of real intimacy, of honesty, and I run like I’ve been taught my entire life. except you wouldn’t let me.
Somehow, you saw past the bullshit and loved me anyway.
you wrecked me, Julietta. you tore me apart piece by piece and then put me back together. I love you. And though I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you, I choose to try. I choose you. All of you. If you’ll still have me.”
A sob tore from her throat. She recognized the leap he had taken to confess his feelings in front of her family—a naked unveiling in public that scared him to the core. She stumbled forward, and he rushed to meet her.
His arms held her tight against his massive chest. Drunk on his scent and his touch, she clung to him, afraid she was in a dream and she’d wake up.
“I love you. every part of you, and you were mistaken if you ever thought I’d allow you to leave me. you belong to me. To us. And I’ll spend every day making you believe it.”
Alexa sniffled. “oh my God, he gave her an airport scene! Just like in the books I read and all those movies. He followed her to an airport and confessed his love before she could board the plane!”
Nick laughed. “Sweetheart, she wasn’t boarding the plane.”
“Close enough.”
Maggie sighed. “Damn, that did rock. Almost as good as you wearing the Mets cap with old yeller in BookCrazy.”
Nick winced. “Uh, can we not talk about that, please?”
Max grinned. “Hmm, I didn’t hear that story. Good, I need a little entertainment on the flight.”
“Screw you.”
Michael grinned. “Should we leave them alone to finish their scene in private?”
Maggie snorted. “Hell, no. I say we go in for a group hug. As Sawyer stated, he’s stuck with all of us.”
Suddenly, Julietta was surrounded by her family, laugh-ing and sniffling while the men held back to retain an ele-ment of coolness. When they finally pulled away, Wolfe stood off to the side, a half smile on his lips. “you guys are nuts.”
“And you’re a part of it. Part of us,” Julietta said.
Sawyer walked toward the boy. Clasped his shoulders.
And looked into his eyes. “you were right, Wolfe. I was going to run, because that’s all I knew. But not anymore.
And you’re not either. When you get something good and right and pure, you stick with it. Got it?”
Wolfe grinned. “Got it.”
Sawyer pulled him in for a short, hard hug.
This time, Wolfe hugged him back.
…
Sawyer’s hand drifted over her belly to cup one of her breasts. A playful tug at her nipple heated her back up, and she let out a groan. “I need a break. Too many orgasms.”
He chuckled and nibbled on the sensitive curve of her neck. “Quitter.”
“Those are fighting words.”
“Hope so.” His tongue licked up toward her ear, and his hot breath shivered moist and warm, causing goose bumps to break out on her skin. “I got a lot to make up for.”
She turned her head and kissed him deep and long and sweet. “you already did.”
“Do you think Wolfe will forgive me?”
“yes. you never left. you ended up choosing him. That’s what he’ll remember.”
“I’m thinking of sending him back to New york. After Purity opens, of course, and he settles in a bit. I want him to have the experience of college. He’s so smart; he should have a degree behind him. Get a glimpse of what a normal teenager goes through.”
“Wolfe will never be normal. I like him that way. But I agree. Michael, Nick, and Max can look out for him. But I’m not ready to let him go yet.”
“Me either. We’ll see what happens.”
“And your foster father?”
Sawyer stroked her long hair, which rippled over their naked bodies. “He gets nothing from me, not anymore. The letter is proof of blackmail, which will block him from parole.
And as for letting my past out, there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. Besides, Max knows a guy. And he has lawyers.”
“I do love my ruthless male Italians.” She pressed her lips to his. “And us?”
He grinned at her playful question, sliding her up and over him. He guided himself deep within her, rocking his hips until the light of lust lit her cocoa eyes. “We live happily ever after. one day at a time.”
She rode him until the orgasm shattered them both. He watched her, hair streaming down her back, face open with pleasure and love and generosity. And Sawyer thanked karma for finally giving him the woman who loved him enough to fight the darkness and save him.
The Marriage Merger
Jennifer Probst's books
- Blood Brothers
- Face the Fire
- Holding the Dream
- The Hollow
- The way Home
- A Father's Name
- All the Right Moves
- After the Fall
- And Then She Fell
- A Mother's Homecoming
- All They Need
- Behind the Courtesan
- Breathe for Me
- Breaking the Rules
- Bluffing the Devil
- Chasing the Sunset
- Feel the Heat (Hot In the Kitchen)
- For the Girls' Sake
- Guarding the Princess
- Happy Mother's Day!
- Meant-To-Be Mother
- In the Market for Love
- In the Rancher's Arms
- Leather and Lace
- Northern Rebel Daring in the Dark
- Seduced The Unexpected Virgin
- Southern Beauty
- St Matthew's Passion
- Straddling the Line
- Taming the Lone Wolff
- Taming the Tycoon
- Tempting the Best Man
- Tempting the Bride
- The American Bride
- The Argentine's Price
- The Art of Control
- The Baby Jackpot
- The Banshee's Desire
- The Banshee's Revenge
- The Beautiful Widow
- The Best Man to Trust
- The Betrayal
- The Call of Bravery
- The Chain of Lies
- The Chocolate Kiss
- The Cost of Her Innocence
- The Demon's Song
- The Devil and the Deep
- The Do Over
- The Dragon and the Pearl
- The Duke and His Duchess
- The Elsingham Portrait
- The Englishman
- The Escort
- The Gunfighter and the Heiress
- The Guy Next Door
- The Heart of Lies
- The Heart's Companion
- The Holiday Home
- The Irish Upstart
- The Ivy House
- The Job Offer
- The Knight of Her Dreams
- The Lone Rancher
- The Love Shack
- The Marquess Who Loved Me
- The Marriage Betrayal
- The Marshal's Hostage
- The Masked Heart
- The Merciless Travis Wilde
- The Millionaire Cowboy's Secret
- The Perfect Bride
- The Pirate's Lady
- The Problem with Seduction
- The Promise of Change
- The Promise of Paradise
- The Rancher and the Event Planner
- The Realest Ever
- The Reluctant Wag
- The Return of the Sheikh
- The Right Bride
- The Sinful Art of Revenge
- The Sometime Bride
- The Soul Collector
- The Summer Place
- The Texan's Contract Marriage
- The Virtuous Ward
- The Wolf Prince
- The Wolfs Maine
- The Wolf's Surrender
- Under the Open Sky
- Unlock the Truth
- Until There Was You
- Worth the Wait
- The Lost Tycoon
- The Raider_A Highland Guard Novel
- The Wife, the Maid, and the Mistress
- The Witch is Back
- When the Duke Was Wicked
- India Black and the Gentleman Thief