“She told me to leave her alone. Plus, she doesn’t believe me.”
That shut Tag up and his step faltered. He’d spent the night before coaxing details out of me, but that was one thing I’d failed to mention. I hadn’t told him how we’d lain in the field, both of us emotionally drained, lying on our backs, looking at the sky because we couldn’t look at each other. I hadn’t told Tag what Georgia had said to me when I’d told her Eli had brought me back.
“The only thing that kept me from breaking when Eli died was the truth,” she’d said.
And I stayed silent, not understanding, but waiting for her to make me see.
“People said things like, ‘He’s in a better place and you’ll see him again. He’s in heaven.’ Stuff like that. But that just hurt me. That made me feel like I hadn’t been good for him. Like he was better off without me. And it played on what I always suspected. I wasn’t good for Eli. I was young and stupid and I wasn’t careful enough with him. Obviously, I wasn’t careful enough with him.”
Her pain was so heavy it filled the air around us, and when I tried to breathe, it filled my lungs and made my throat close and my chest scream for oxygen. But she didn’t stop.
“After the accident, the only truth I was sure of was that Eli was dead. I’d killed him. And that was something I was going to have to live with.”
Georgia looked at me fiercely, her old fire lighting up her eyes as if expecting me to argue with her. But arguing was something I rarely did. I’d learned long ago that people were going to think what they thought, believe whatever they were going to believe, and speaking up wouldn’t change their minds. So I met Georgia’s gaze and waited.
“He’s dead, Moses. That’s the truth. I’m alive. That’s also the truth. I didn’t mean to kill him. Another truth. I would give him my life if I could. I would trade places if I could. I would do anything to have him back. Give anything. Sacrifice anything. Anyone. That’s the truth too.” Georgia stopped abruptly and inhaled deeply, her breath shuddering and skipping like her throat was too tight to draw it in all at once. She broke eye contact, turning her head as if my seeming acceptance of her truths rattled her a bit.
“So please don’t lie to me, Moses. That’s all I ask. Don’t lie to me. And I won’t lie to you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But don’t lie to me.”
She thought I was lying. She thought I was doing the crazy thing with her. She didn’t believe I could see Eli. She wanted me to tell her the truth, but when everyone called your truth a lie, what then?
“You’re afraid of the truth, Georgia. People that are afraid of the truth never find it,” I told her. But she didn’t look at me, staring up at the sky once more, signaling that the conversation was over. I waited for several long minutes and finally rose to my feet, leaving her there, the Lady of Shalott, the Lady of the Lake, lying in a sea of grass. My legs were shaking and I felt drained all the way to my bones as I walked away.
“I did what I came to do,” I told Tag. Although I had no idea if that was the truth, it sounded good. If that was what Eli needed me to do, to see, then it was done. Finished. All I knew was I wanted to leave, and the sooner the better.
“We’re not done painting, though,” Tag tried again.
I continued gathering supplies.
“There’s another mural upstairs. Or did you forget about that one?” Tag asked.
“I didn’t paint anything upstairs. I was pretty strung out. But I’m pretty sure I never went upstairs.” I’d walked down those stairs and out of the house, straight to the barn where I found Georgia. And I’d never walked up them again.
“Come on. I’ll show you.” Tag climbed the stairs eagerly, and I followed decidedly less so. I was sick to death of seeing my handiwork. My stomach had been as knotted as a fisherman’s net since I’d stepped inside G’s house. And it hadn’t eased yet. But when Tag pushed open the door to my old room and pointed at the wall, I realized that it wasn’t my handiwork I’d forgotten about.
The stick-figure mural was still there.
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m thinking this is a Moses Wright knock off. Similar styling . . . but not quite there yet,” Tag said, squinting his eyes and stroking his chin like he was actually studying a piece of artwork.
“It was Georgia.”
“No shit?” Tag said in mock surprise, and I laughed, even though I was choking on the memory.
The last Saturday before school started, Georgia failed to show up on the fence line at lunch time like she’d done every other day. By the time I packed it in, I’d convinced myself that I was better off. Good riddance. I never wanted her anyway. I stomped up the stairs into the bathroom, showered with my teeth gritted and anger coming out my ears, only to walk into my room with a towel wrapped around my waist and halt in amazement.
Georgia had painted a mural on my bedroom wall.
It looked like a child’s comic strip, complete with stick figures and speech bubbles.
The female stick figure had long blonde hair and cowboy boots and the male stick figure had bright green eyes, a paint brush, and no hair at all. The awkward stick people were holding hands in one frame, kissing in the next, and in the final frame, the girl stick figure—Georgia—was kicking the boy stick figure—me—in the head.
“What in the hell . . .” I breathed.
“Nice outfit!” Georgia chirped from where she was seated, cross legged, in the middle of my bed.
I shook my head in disbelief and pointed to the door. “Out.”
She laughed. “I’ll shut my eyes.”
I grumbled and stomped to my dresser. With one hand I gathered up some clothes and stomped back out, slamming the bathroom door as if I was truly irritated. I wasn’t. I was thrilled to see her.