There were aspects of her grown-up, married life that she loved. Having money was good. Being successful and, in her own small way, famous, was gratifying. But happiness, true happiness, was as elusive for her now as it had ever been.
Sitting in the first-class Virgin Airways lounge at Heathrow, alone, waiting for her plane to New York, she tried to think about the positives. Despite Jason’s late and drunken arrival at their recent drinks party, Hamilton Hall’s board and investors were happy with her performance as CEO. That allowed her a lot of freedom, to develop the business as she saw fit – but there were still battles to be fought and won. Most of the board, and in particular Arabella Boscombe, still baulked at the idea of further overseas expansion, at least until the second London school was up and running at a profit. But Tatiana wanted to move now, while US interest rates were still low and the New York real-estate market had yet to fully recover from recession. She’d booked today’s trip with her own, private money, and was excited at the prospect of scouting out possible locations for a Hamilton Hall NYC. It was a first step forward towards realizing a long-held dream. So was buying a country house back in the Swell Valley with Jason. Yet for some reason, Tati seemed incapable of feeling happy about any of it.
I don’t want to live at Brockhurst Abbey, she thought moodily, flipping through page after page of glossy photographs showing stunning wood-panelled rooms and formal gardens. I want to live at Furlings. It didn’t matter how much money she accumulated. Tati knew that it would be a cold day in hell before Brett sold that house, to anyone. As for selling it to her, she doubted her father-in-law would make that trade for a billion dollars. That was true power. What Brett Cranley had: control over something that other people wanted and that you would never, ever give up.
When she’d first married Jason, Tati had harboured vague, unformed hopes of somehow, in time, being accepted into the Cranley family. Perhaps she would have Jason’s child, and perhaps that child would one day inherit Furlings? Then Tati could live out her old age there at least. But if anything her marriage to Jason had pushed her childhood home even further out of her reach. It had enraged Brett, as Tati knew it would. Hamilton Hall’s success had only compounded that rage, which was gratifying in a way – irritating Brett Cranley had become one of the more constant pleasures in Tatiana’s life – but it also meant that her banishment from Furlings was total and permanent. Proving Brett wrong by becoming a wealthy businesswoman in her own right was a victory, but a small one. In Tati’s mind it was overshadowed utterly by Brett’s triumph over her in the battle for Furlings.
According to Jason, unsurprisingly, Brett had gone ballistic about Logan’s defection to Eaton Gate, accusing Jason and Tati of enticing her to come and live with them.
‘That woman will stop at nothing to break up this family!’ he’d raged at Angela. ‘First Jason. Now Logie. And yet you still insist on treating her like one of us. It makes me sick.’
It pleased Tati to think of Brett Cranley feeling powerless, although she regretted the knock-on effect it must be having on Angela. On the other hand, she couldn’t help but feel that Angela Cranley should stick up for herself a bit more. The more Tati got to know her mother-in-law, the clearer it became where Jason had got his passive nature from. Brett bullied them both because they let him.
‘Flight VS 26 to New York is ready for boarding.’
The announcer’s voice broke Tati’s reverie. Putting aside her untouched gin and tonic, she stuffed the particulars back into her new Smythson briefcase and pulled out her boarding card and passport.
I’ll feel better when I get there, she told herself. A change of scene, and some time out from the tension at home with Jason, would do her good. Ironically, Logan’s impromptu invasion of Eaton Gate had made things easier between them at home. Her intense teenage emotions – she really did feel terrible about what had happened at Wraggsbottom Farm, and spent hours pouring her heart out to Tati about Gabe, Laura, Seb Harwich and all the people she’d let down – had put Tati and Jason’s own emotions into perspective. Or at least thrown them into a more rational, adult relief.
Even so, the idea of some space and distance was appealing. And Tati had always adored Manhattan.