Zeke! No, I can’t do this. Trembling with need and Hunger, I paused, a breath away from his throat, so close I could feel the heat radiating from his skin. Zeke was frozen, his breath coming in gasps, his whole body tense with anticipation and fear. A tiny part of me wanted to draw back, but I couldn’t make myself move. Not with his pulse fluttering an inch from my lips, and the sweet, heady scent of blood filling every part of my senses. I leaned closer, and my lips brushed his skin, a soft, featherlight touch, and Zeke gasped.
And then, as I knelt there shaking, trying to find the willpower to pull away, Zeke moved. Just a fraction, a tiny shift that might’ve gone unnoticed. Except he shivered, took a deep breath and tilted his head back, exposing his throat. Offering it to me. And I couldn’t stop myself.
I lunged, sinking my fangs into his neck, driving them deep. Stifling a cry, Zeke stiffened and gripped my arms, arching his back. His blood coursed hot and sweet into my mouth, spreading through me, a slow-moving fire. It tasted of earth and smoke, of heat and passion and strength, of all things Zeke. He breathed my name, a sigh of benediction and longing, and I couldn’t get close enough, never close enough. His heartbeat roared in my ears, pounding out a savage rhythm, and I lost myself in the moment, cocooned in ecstasy, feeling the essence of this remarkable human swirl through me.
No! Through the Hunger and bloodlust, a tiny, sane part of me emerged, gasping in horror. This is Zeke! it cried out. This is Zeke you’re feeding from, Zeke’s heartbeat you’re listening to. His blood is saving your life, and you’re going to kill him if you don’t stop now!
The Hunger roared; it wasn’t satisfied, not nearly sated enough. I had nearly been killed and needed more blood to heal completely. But I could not take any more without risking Zeke’s life. Zeke was in no position to push me off; I had to control myself. Stop, I told myself firmly, clamping down on my Hunger once more. No more. That is enough!
With a monumental effort, I pulled away, forcing my fangs to retract. I felt Zeke shudder as my fangs slid from his throat, felt his whole body slump against mine.
For a moment, neither of us moved, and I looked down in horror. Under my assault, Zeke had fallen back and was now resting on his elbows, breathing hard, with me straddling his waist. Blood still oozed from two tiny holes in his neck. He still wore a dazed expression, but when he finally raised his head and looked at me, his eyes were clear.
I froze. He had seen. He had seen me at my worst, a vampire in a snarling, foaming blood frenzy. A monster who had almost killed him on instinct. Until now, even though he’d known what I was, I had at least appeared more or less human. I could only imagine what he thought of me now.
Zeke stared at me, and under his intense gaze I wanted to crawl into a deep hole, but also to pounce on him again, to drive him back to the floor and finish what I’d started. I could feel him shaking underneath me, his heart thudding against my palms.
“Zeke…I…” I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? Sorry I almost killed you? That I couldn’t control the demon? That I wanted to keep drinking until you were an empty, lifeless husk? I didn’t want you to see me like this, I thought despairingly, closing my eyes. Out of everyone, I didn’t want you to see the monster.
“Just…” Zeke paused, letting out a breath, as if his body had seized up, and he could just now breathe again. “Just answer me this one question,” he said in a shaky voice. “Does this mean…will I…this doesn’t mean I’m going to Turn, does it?”
I immediately shook my head. “No,” I whispered, glad for something to say. “The process is different. You would have to take some of my blood to become a vampire.” I would also have to nearly kill you.
He sighed, and some of the tension left his body. “Then…I’m glad I came back.”
I rose, scrambling away from him, and Zeke rolled upright and faced me, pale from cold and pain and blood loss. I turned away, staring at the shattered windows, watching embers from the fires dance on the wind. I felt his gaze on my back, and shame burned through me like the hottest fire.
“Why did you come back?” I whispered. “I told you to keep going. You shouldn’t have…”
“I couldn’t leave you,” Zeke said. “Not after everything you did for us. For me. I had to come back.” I heard his footsteps, felt him step up beside me. From the corner of my eye, I watched him gaze at the city, watching the flames. “The others are safe,” he announced. “They’re at the edge of the city, waiting for us. We should go. I guess…” And his voice faltered, suspiciously close to breaking, and he swallowed hard. “I guess Jeb won’t be coming back with us.”
Jeb. I felt a blinding stab of guilt. And a hollow emptiness, knowing I had failed them both. “Zeke,” I said, finally turning to face him. “Jeb is…”
“I saw,” he whispered, gesturing to the broken glass, his face tight. “I saw…what he did, when you were beneath the window. I was coming up to the building when the bodies…fell.”
My stomach felt cold. “Did…did Jeb…”