I felt Zeke’s discomfort, his sudden unease at me admitting that all vampires were, more or less, killers. Well, he wanted the truth. No more lies, no more illusions. I was a vampire, and this was how things were. I only hoped he could accept it.
“Anyway,” I continued, peeling back the gauze to reveal the wound. It looked angry and deep, but not infected. “Mom got sick one day. She wasn’t able to get out of bed, so she missed her scheduled bloodletting. Two days later, the pets came and took the required amount by force, even though she was still too weak to move, or even eat.” I paused, remembering a tiny, cold bedroom, and my mother lying beneath the thin blankets, pale as snow. “She never recovered,” I finished, pushing the image away, back to the darkest part of my memories. “It wasn’t long before she just…faded away.”
“I’m sorry,” Zeke murmured. And sounded as if he actually meant it.
“I hated the vampires after that.” I soaked a rag in peroxide and pressed it to the wound, feeling him stiffen, gritting his teeth. “I swore I would never be Registered, that they wouldn’t brand me like some piece of meat, that I wouldn’t give them even one drop of blood. I found others like me, other Unregistereds, and we scraped out an existence as best we could, stealing, scavenging, begging, anything to survive. We almost starved, especially in the winter, but it was better than being a vampire’s bloodcow.”
“What changed?” Zeke asked softly.
I picked up the bandages, unwinding the roll without seeing it. Memories flickered again, dark and terrifying. The rain and the blood and the rabids, lying in Kanin’s arms, feeling the world fade around me.
“I was attacked by rabids,” I finally said. “They killed my friends and tore me up pretty bad, outside the city walls. I was dying. A vampire found me that night, gave me the choice of a quick death, or to become one of them. I still hated the vampires, and I knew, deep down, what I would become, but I also knew I didn’t want to die. So I chose this.”
Zeke was silent for several minutes. “Do you regret it?” he asked finally. “Becoming a vampire? Choosing this life?”
I shrugged. “Sometimes.” I tied off the gauze and met his gaze, searching for reproach. “But if the choice was being dead—really dead—and being alive, I would probably do the same thing.” Zeke nodded thoughtfully. “What about you?” I challenged. “If you were dying and someone offered you a way out, wouldn’t you take it?”
He shook his head. “I’m not afraid to die,” he said in a voice that was neither boastful or condemning, just quietly confident. “I know…I have faith, that something better is waiting for me, after I’m done here. I just have to wait, and do my best, until it’s time for me to go.”
“That’s a nice sentiment,” I said honestly. “But I’m going to keep living for as long as I can, which will be forever if I’m lucky.” Gathering up the supplies, I stood, staring down at him. “So tell me, what happens to vampires when they finally kick it? According to Jeb, we don’t have souls anymore. What happens when we die?”
“I don’t know,” Zeke murmured.
“Don’t know, or don’t want to tell me?”
“I don’t know,” Zeke said a little more firmly, and exhaled. “Do you want me to tell you what Jeb would say, or do you want my own opinion?”
“I thought Jeb taught you everything he knew.”
“He did,” Zeke replied, holding my gaze. “And he’s tried very hard to mold me into the leader he wants me to be.” He sighed, looking evasive, defiant and ashamed all at once. “But, if you haven’t noticed, we don’t always see eye to eye. Jeb says I’m stubborn and intractable, but I have my own opinions about certain things, no matter what he believes.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“He was wrong about you. I…was wrong about you.”
I blinked. Abruptly, Zeke rose, his face troubled, as if he really hadn’t meant to say that. “We should get going,” he said, avoiding my gaze. “We’re not far from Old Chicago now, right? I want to find the others as fast as we can.”
Outside, the stars were just beginning to show. I noticed three piles of fresh, overturned earth in the front yard, a pile of stones at the head of each one, and glanced at Zeke questioningly.
“They needed to be buried,” he said, gazing down at the new graves. His blue eyes grew haunted, and he sighed. “I just hope they’re the only ones I’ll have to lay to rest.”
I didn’t want to give him false hope, so I didn’t reply. Mounting the bike, I waited until he slid in behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, without hesitation this time. Easing the bike from the dirt onto the pavement, I opened it up, and we sped off toward the vampire city waiting at the end of the road.
*
IF I THOUGHT NEW COVINGTON was big, it was nothing compared to Old Chicago.