“You are a monster.” Kanin’s deep voice droned in my head again, as I forced myself to move, to walk away. “You will always be a monster—there is no turning back from it. But what type of monster you become is entirely up to you.”
I bit my lip. I’d forgotten that part. For a moment, I stood there, struggling with myself. The wind whipped around me, tossing my hair and clothes, rattling the branches above. Across the fields, the bonfires smoldered, burning low, and the rabids shifted restlessly at the edge of the trees.
Zeke betrayed you, a small, furious voice whispered in my head. He’s no better than Jebbadiah, no better than any of them. You’re just another demon to be hunted down and shot. Why should you care if he makes it to his Eden? Why care about any of them?
Because…
Because I did care, I realized. I cared that this small, stubborn band of human beings would challenge everything in their search for a better life. I cared that they would risk rabids and starvation and horrible conditions to follow that dream and cling to hope, even if they knew, somewhere deep down, that it was impossible. I thought of Caleb and Bethany. I’d told them there would be goats in Eden. They couldn’t die now, dying of hunger or torn apart by rabids. I wanted them to succeed, to defy all odds and to make it to the end. Could I abandon them to the very monsters that had killed me?
“No.”
The rabids hissed, glancing back at the sound of my voice. Slowly, I turned to face them, and we glared at each other once more, the wind swirling around us.
“No,” I said again, and the rabids curled their lips back, showing fangs. “I’m not like you. I’m not like the vampires in the city. I might be a monster, but I can be human, too. I can choose to be human.” Reaching back, I gripped my sword and drew it out, a bright flash of steel in the darkness. The rabids snarled and crouched down, their eyes fixed on the blade. Stepping forward, I bared my fangs and snarled back. “So, come on, you bastards,” I challenged. “If you want them, you’ll have to get through me first!”
The rabids screamed, baring and gnashing their fangs. I roared a battle cry, feeling my demon erupt, tasting violence, and this time I welcomed its arrival. Brandishing my weapon, I lunged into their midst.
I hardly knew what I was doing; everything was screaming fangs and slashing claws, rabids hurling through the air, my blade singing as we danced and spun and cut at the monsters around us. Their tainted, foul-smelling blood soaked the ground and the trees, their shrieks rising into the wind. More rabids came at me, drawn by the sounds of battle, leaping into the fray. I cut them down, too, growling my hate and fury and vengeance. They were too slow, too mindless, flinging themselves on my sword with vicious animal fury. I whirled from one attack to the next, ripping my blade through pale, shrieking bodies, feeling the sword dance in my hands.
When it was over, I stood in the center of a massacre, scratched, bleeding and surrounded by pale, dismembered bodies. Hunger flickered, always there, but I pushed it down. I was a vampire. Nothing would change that. But I didn’t have to be a monster.
Wiping rabid blood off my sword, I sheathed it and turned to gaze over the fields. The compound sat silent and dark on the hill, clouds of smoke billowing up through the rain. Settling against a tree, I watched it, waiting for the iron gates to swing open, listening for the creak and groan of metal. But as the hours passed and the storm moved on, sweeping off toward the east, the gates still did not budge.
I guess Jeb doesn’t want to leave the safety of the compound when there could be a vampire lurking outside, I mused, glancing nervously at the sky. Only an hour or so before dawn; they probably wouldn’t go anywhere tonight. I guess some things are enough to give him pause, after all.
Forty minutes later, with sunlight threatening the horizon and the birds chirping in the trees, I rose to find a place to sleep just as the groan of metal caught my attention.
They’re leaving? Now? Stunned, I watched as the gates swung open, and the small group of humans filed out into the grass. I counted them all: Jeb and Darren, both carrying shotguns pointed into the woods. Ruth and Dorothy. Caleb, Bethany and Matthew huddled together in the center. Silent Jake, now carrying a rifle. Old Teresa and Silas. And finally, bringing up the rear, making sure everyone got out okay, the boy who’d driven me off, who had turned his back on the vampire but still let it walk away without a fight.