“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” she asked, taking a step closer to him. “I mean, not my arm. I don’t want to talk about that. But about what happened in that room. . .”
He watched her for several long, silent seconds, his expression sliding from uncomfortable, to guilty, to defeated. “If it’s all right with you. . . can we talk about that later?”
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she studied his slumped posture and his fingers gripping and releasing his thighs. So upset, wound so tight. They never did get that walk after dinner, and Delilah’s hope they could have some time—talking, holding hands, letting the space grow warm and magnetic between them until he couldn’t take it anymore and would press her against a wall or a tree or. . . well.
They were alone now; the school had been dark and full of shadows and echoes when she’d come in, and probably had been for hours. With her heart pounding ferociously beneath her breastbone, Delilah stood and reached under her skirt, wiggling her underwear down her legs. She stepped out of them, careful not to fall over.
Gavin swallowed. “Um. So.” He reached back and scratched his neck. “So, Delilah? What are you doing?”
“Taking off my underwear.”
“I can see that.” He studied the pink cotton on the floor and blinked rapidly. The bravery he’d felt at his own nakedness just minutes before seemed to have abandoned him. “Lilah, I have no idea what to do with you. . .” Without looking up, he waved vaguely at her skirt, still in place, still hiding her most secret parts, adding, “Down there.”
Delilah felt as though her blood had turned into a million fluttering wings in her veins. “So, I’ll tell you.”
She walked over to him, wishing he would just look up at her for a second, to let her know that he was okay with it, with this. And then she knew he was when he reached forward, put his hands on her hips over her skirt to draw her closer. He leaned forward and kissed her ribs, lips pressed just beneath her breast.
Pulling back, Gavin looked up at her and whispered, “I don’t want to have sex for the first time in a practice room at school.”
She worried for a moment that her chest might break open with her heart pounding so hard. “Okay.”
“In case that’s what you were thinking we were going to do.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m not thinking at all right now.”
“I guess that’s what I mean.” He smiled, and this time it crinkled the corners of his eyes. “You were in Urgent Care four hours ago, and now you’re not wearing underwear.”
“There’s a lot of room between this and sex. Just touch me, Gavin.”
He hesitated, but didn’t look away.
“I’m scared,” she admitted then, wanting to be honest with him but hoping he wouldn’t stop.
His expression darkened immediately. “Of this, right now? Or of. . . House?”
She shook her head. “I know the house is all you’ve known. It’s your family. I know it tears you up inside to see how hard it is for House right now, and how hard it is for me, too. The thing is, I’m yours. I don’t belong to anyone but you. I’m scared that you’ll never be mine the same way.”
“Lilah, don’t say that.” He closed his eyes, pressed his face to her stomach.