chapter Twenty-Six
I never even changed out of my dress. Instead, I paced my room so long that I was surprised I didn’t wear out the carpet. A summer internship at Piedmont, working with my dad? At one point, this would have been a dream come true. Now? Not so much. In that moment, I thought back on my decision to hook up with Colton. Who would have thought one night of sex in a barn would change my life so completely. Colton had taught me a lot in our months together, and I refused to throw it all away. I wasn’t perfect, but I could be better. I could even learn to like myself.
One thing that wasn’t going to help was spending more time with my father and his world, at least not for the reasons he was offering it. Maybe sometime in the future when he was ready for a normal father-daughter relationship, or at least as close to one as we could muster, I’d go for it, but neither of us were ready for that yet. I finally gave up pacing and walked downstairs.
I hesitated outside the den. Dad was reading the paper on his tablet.
“Dad. I need to talk to you.”
“Hi, honey. Is this still about Tanner? I didn’t think it would upset you so much.”
I didn’t believe that. He had to have known.
“No.” For such a short word, it packed a punch.
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t want the summer internship.”
“And why not?”
“Because you’re trying to buy me, and I’m not something that can be bought.”
“Buy you? You’re my daughter. I don’t need to buy you.”
“I don’t want to be your puppet. I don’t want you trying to turn me into your idea of perfect. I’m just fine the way I am.”
“My idea of perfect? I just want you to be happy and successful.”
“Happy and successful? And I can’t do that on my own terms?”
“I guess not.” Dad’s hand balled into a fist at his side. He was getting angry. “When I don’t interfere in your life, you continue to make stupid decisions.”
“Excuse me? What stupid decisions?”
“Jack Waters was one thing, but Colton Waters?”
“Colton’s not Jack, and Jack dumped me before things could get too serious.”
“Thank God for that.”
“He wasn’t that bad.” I couldn’t believe I was defending Jack. Things do change.
“He wasn’t? Then why’d he give you up so easily? A real man fights for what he wants.”
Dad paled, like he realized he’d just let something really bad slip out.
“Give me up easily? What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Let’s just go to bed. We can talk about this another time.”
“No. Tell me. Did you have anything to do with Jack breaking up with me?” I thought back on Jack’s words. It wasn’t what I thought.
“Please, Mallory. Now isn’t the time.”
“It’s the perfect time.” I crossed my arms.
“It was the only way.”
“Spit it out, Dad. What did you do?”
“It’s not worth discussing.” He turned and stormed out of the room.
I followed him, but he’d closed his door. I knocked. “Open up, Dad. I deserve an answer. If you don’t tell me, I’m leaving.”
He ripped open the door. “I was only protecting you. I did what I had to.”
“Yeah? Protecting me? Let’s pretend for a second that I believe you. What did you do to protect me?”
“I paid him off.” He said the words calmly, like they were of no importance.
“You paid him off? You paid him to dump me?” I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. All that time thinking I did something wrong, that I wasn’t good enough for Jack, and Dad was the one who made him break it off with me?
“I paid him to stay away from you. I made it worth his while. You deserved better.”
“What? I deserved better? How can you even say that? You weren’t even around to know me!” Anger engulfed me. How could someone who was supposed to love me do something so cruel?
“I wanted to be.” His eyes locked on mine.
“Then why weren’t you? I never tried to keep you away. I wanted you to love me, Dad. I wanted you to spend time with me.” I couldn’t even describe how unworthy his absence made me feel. How empty. Rob was an awesome step-dad, but he couldn’t make up for the fact that my own dad didn’t want me in his life.
“I promised your mom.”
“Promised her what?” I calmed my breathing. If I wanted answers from my father I needed to keep my cool.
“That I’d stay out of your life.”
“That’s not true. You’re the one who left her because she wasn’t good enough. Because we weren’t good enough for you.”
“Is that really what you believe?” For the first time, he sounded vulnerable.
“Yes.”
“Your mother didn’t think I was good for you and Davie. I was already away most the time with work, and we’d drifted. I should have fought harder, but at the time, I didn’t have the strength.”
“Maybe she had good reason to want to keep you away. Anyone capable of paying off my boyfriend is pretty toxic.” I didn’t attempt to keep the anger from my voice.
“I only did it because I love you.”
“And that’s why you’re giving me this internship, right?” I let out a deep breath. “Well, I don’t want it. I love you, Dad. I’ll always love you, but you’re never going to control me. I’d rather give up your acceptance and approval than give up who I am. I’m a good person. I’m a worthy person.”
“Of course you’re worthy. I haven’t said otherwise.”
“Not directly, but you’ve implied it. I don’t need your acceptance, and I don’t need your hand outs.”
I turned and ran upstairs. I pulled out my suitcase and started stuffing in my clothes haphazardly. I didn’t care what wrinkled. I just needed to get out.
“Mallory.” Dad said my name softly from the doorway. “Are you really leaving?”
“Yes. I’m going to see the one man who loves me unconditionally as I am.”
“Rob isn’t your father,” he grumbled.
“I’m not talking about Rob.”
“Colton? You think he loves you?”
“I know it. And I know I love him.” I felt the truth of the words deep in my heart. I needed Colton. I needed to get lost in his arms.
I reluctantly hugged Dad. I was still mad, but I knew it would be a long time before I saw him again. Considering his recent heart attack, I wasn’t adding another regret to my list. “I love you, but I’m never going to work for you.”
“Don’t say never.”
“Dad. I’ll always be your daughter, but I’ll never be your employee.”
He held me close. “I love you, Mallory. I may not show it a lot but I’m so proud of you.”
I stepped back. “I hope you can continue to be proud of me no matter what decisions I make.”
He nodded. “I will.”
“I’ll call you on Christmas.” I grabbed my bag, releasing it when my dad tugged on the handle. He helped me load it in the truck.
“Bye, sweetie.”
“Bye, Dad.” I pulled out of his ornate driveway, back toward my much simpler one at home, although I’d be making one stop first.
***
I knocked on the Waters’ door. It was after midnight, but I wanted to surprise Colt. The words I needed to say couldn’t be said over the phone.
His mother opened the door. “Mallory? Is everything okay?”
“Is Colton home?”
“Yeah. He’s up in his room.” She looked at her watch. “When did you get back in town?”
“Just now.”
“Okay, go on up, honey.”
I slipped off my shoes and hurried up the carpeted stairs to his room. I knocked on his door.
“Yeah?” He called out over some low music.
“It’s me.”
“Mallory?” The door flew open and Colton had me in his arms before I could register it. “Is everything okay? You’re home early.” He closed the door, put me down on his bed and sat down next to me. I liked that his concern was for me and not us. He had enough confidence in our relationship to know I wasn’t trying to break up with him or anything.
“I decided to come back early.”
“Awesome! I could pretend to be disappointed that your visit with your dad didn’t go as planned, but my excitement at seeing you wins out.”
I smiled. “Good.”
His face got serious. “Did something happen?”
“Yeah. Lots. The bottom line is that I don’t need him to approve of my life. What matters is how I feel, and I know where I’m happiest, and who I’m happiest with.”
“Is it with anyone I know?” He brushed some hair away from my face.
“I love you, Colton.” The words tumbled out.
His face lit up. “I love you, Mallory. I thought I was in love with you before, but now I know that was nothing. This though is love.” He touched the place over my heart. “What we’ve become these past few months.”
“I know.” The tears started, and I couldn’t stop them.
His answer was to kiss me, and it worked better than anything else ever could have. His lips moved against mine as his arms wrapped around me. Before long, I was lying down on his bed with him hovering over me.
“We can’t do this here.”
“I know. Not with my mom home. I have an idea.” He moved off me and grabbed my hand. He rushed me downstairs.
“Mom, we’re going out.”
“Okay. Is Rob going to mind?” She looked at me worriedly. Rob’s protectiveness was really notorious in town.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He didn’t even know I was back so we were safe.
“Okay, then have fun.”
“We will.” Colton squeezed my hand as he led me out to his truck.
“I don’t need to ask where we’re going, do I?”
“Nope. My guess is you’re thinking the same thing.”
The barn was just as empty as last time, but this time there were no cars and trucks parked outside or kids drinking in the field. Colt led me up the hayloft stairs and laid me down in the hay the same way he had that first night.
His hands and lips roamed my body as he undressed us slowly, savoring the experience as though it were the first time.
I reached out to touch his chest once he shed his shirt. I’d never get tired of feeling those muscular planes.
We moved together beautifully, perfectly. I knew with every grain of my body that I never wanted anyone else. He pushed me over the edge before reaching his own release, and he stayed on top of me afterward. Neither one of us wanted to separate. “I love you, Mallory.” He looked right in my eyes as he spoke.
“I love you, Colt.”
A bright light pulled me from my blissful haze. There were headlights outside. I moved to get dressed, but before I could do anything, the car moved away. Whoever it was decided walking in on us wasn’t worth the trouble.
“I’m going to take that as a sign.” Colt ran his hand down my arm.
“A sign of what?”
“That we’re meant to be doing this. I mean we weren’t even busted.”
I laughed. “It would have been really funny if we were.”
“Really funny? Would it have been funny when Rob had me arrested?”
“What’s he going to get you arrested for? We’re both consenting adults. Annie’s uncle could arrest us for trespassing, but you know he wouldn’t.”
“This is our spot now.”
“Our spot?”
“Yeah. The spot we should come to every time we need a recharge.”
“A recharge?” I asked.
“I figure every few years we’ll get into a fight and crave really good make-up sex.”
“Every few years? You’re really looking far ahead now.”
“I’m looking at forever, Mallory.”
“Forever?” I nuzzled into his side.
“Forever. I promise it’s going to be a good ride.”
“I’m sure it will be.” I moved out of his arms, and he started to protest until he realized what I was doing.
“I’m really excited about the ride, but right now I just want to ride my Colt.”
He laughed. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you this year, but I love it.”
“You. You’re what’s gotten into me. You’ve changed me in the most amazing ways.”
“You’ve done the same to me.” He reached up and pulled me down to lie on top of him. “As much as I’d love for you to take me for a ride, right now I just want to hold you.”
“Being held sounds pretty good too.”
“Good, because I plan on holding you for a very long time.”
“Don’t you mean forever?”
“Longer than forever,” he whispered. “We’re at longer than forever now.”
“Yeah. I like the sound of that.”
“Me too.” I kissed him and he kissed me back.
I never would have imagined a roll in the hay could change my life so completely, but you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes the unexpected things are the ones that mean the most.
Want more Hazards? Juliet and Reed’s story, The Hazards of Skinny Dipping is available now!
The Hazards of Skinny Dipping
This isn't a deep book about first loves or self-discovery. If you want a book like that, I'd be happy to recommend one, but I don't have that kind of story to tell. Instead my story is about rash decisions and finding out that your dream guy is bad in bed. It's the story of when I finally went skinny dipping, and how my life was never the same again. Oh, and it's also the story of my freshman year of college and realizing Mr. Right might have been there all along.
Keep reading for a preview of Shaken Not Stirred (Mixology) by Alyssa Rose Ivy and Kissing Eden by T.A. Foster.
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Shaken Not Stirred
Alyssa Rose Ivy
Book Description:
Finding the perfect guy is like mixing the perfect drink. It's all about the taste and presentation.
Faced with a pile of med school rejection letters and no plan B, I ended up tending bar in a beach town while living with two male roommates. All of that would have been fine if I'd had a clue what to do with my life or if my love life wasn't just as pathetic as my career path. But in the end I figured one of those things out—and I also discovered his perfect drink.