“You ain’t goin’ to that funeral, Shauna.”
“Why not?” Shauna enquired with what appeared to be genuine curiosity and I felt my lips part in astonishment, uncertain I’d ever seen anyone so inappropriately cavalier.
“I don’t know,” Max clipped sarcastically, “maybe because you were fuckin’ a married man and his wife, mother and father’ll be there?”
“I lost Curt too, just like Bitsy,” Shauna retorted.
“Yeah, but he loved her and was married to her for fifteen years. You were just convenient *,” Max shot back.
I gasped, so did Linda. Kami and Shauna both glared at Max.
“Max.” Now Linda said Max’s name quietly.
“No Mom, she’s not goin’ to that funeral.” Max’s eyes went to his sister. “And you’ve spoken about a dozen civil words to Bitsy in the last decade so you shouldn’t either.”
“I’m not six, Max, you can’t tell me what to do,” Kami returned.
“No, you’re not, you act it a lot of the time, but you’re not. What you are is old enough to know better,” Max shot back.
“We’re goin’,” Kami declared.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Max muttered.
“I was under the impression,” Linda entered the conversation and I looked at her to see she was regarding Kami, “after all that talk I heard in town about what happened with you two at Max and Brody’s table at The Rooster, that we were here so you both could talk with Max and Nina about your behavior that night.” Kami opened her mouth to speak but Linda went on. “Not,” she cut her off sharply and with obvious practice, “so you two could bring attitude into Max’s house.”
“I’m sorry, Linda,” Shauna said readily and looked at me. “You know Max and I have history, Nina,” she reminded me unnecessarily. “I guess we rub each other the wrong way. I just wanted to spend some time with Kami today since it’s gonna be a rough day for me but I probably shouldn’t have come.”
I stared at her, shocked at how good she was in front of Max’s Mom. Even I almost believed her.
“In case you feel like visiting again, Shauna, you can take it as read you aren’t welcome,” Max told her.
“Just because you two have broken up doesn’t mean you can be an asshole, Max,” Kami defended her friend.
“’Fraid it does, Kami,” Max returned.
I was now stunned. These shenanigans made my mother and me, even my father and me, seem tame. Though, my father, mother, Niles and me were still the worst, if you didn’t count me slapping my Dad during the Dad and me fiasco, of course.
“You know, Nina,” Linda said matter-of-factly as she poured batter into the melted butter in a skillet, “a mother gets to the point when her kids are kids that she looks forward to them being adults.” Her eyes came to mine as she set down the bowl. “I haven’t reached that part of motherhood yet.”
I didn’t want to say that Max wasn’t exactly acting like a kid, more like a pissed off mountain man whose bitch of a sister brought his ex-girlfriend to his house. So instead, I just smiled.
“Or at least I haven’t with Kami,” Max’s Mom went on, the twinkle came back to her eyes, it stayed there longer and my smile got wider.
“Mom!” Kami snapped and Linda turned to her, leaned forward and morphed into another woman altogether.
“What’d I say about this crap?” she hissed. “You two always fightin’ with you always startin’ it. Works my last flippin’ nerve. Max is here, what? Practically never. And instead of enjoyin’ the time you got, you get in his face. I’ve had it up to here, Kami.” She lifted a hand up to her neck and continued, “And I’ve had it up to here with talkin’ to you like you’re five when you’re thirty-five, dammit.”
“I see, as always, perfect fuckin’ Max,” Kami shot back.
“Yeah, darlin’, perfect fuckin’ Max.” Linda shot back. “Max comes over, fixes my sink and doesn’t whine at me for five hours. That’s pretty fuckin’ perfect.”
Kami flinched then her face shut down.
“Same old shit,” Kami grumbled.
“The same old shit is, Max has a new girlfriend and you bring his old one to his house, lyin’ to me about why and makin’ us look bad in front of Nina. That’s the same old shit, Kami, and I’m sick and tired of it.” Then Linda looked at me and mumbled, “Sorry Nina.”
“Um… that’s okay,” I told her.
“It isn’t,” Linda replied.
“Oh, so now it’s gonna be perfect fuckin’ Nina,” Kami bit out.
Linda turned back to her daughter but I moved in quickly with hopes of lightening the mood.
“I’m sorry, Linda, but I don’t know how to fix a sink.”
Linda looked at me, her eyes caught mine and she replied, “That’s okay, Nina. Talked to Barb. What you know how to fix is a whole lot more important than a sink.”
I stared at her, now understanding why she liked me and Max’s arm curled tighter around my neck.