“Honest to God, Nina, what on earth is the matter with you? You’d choose this over Niles?”
I stood there, shocked at what Max had said to Niles, shocked at what I was seeing from Niles, shocked that any of this was even happening and I looked at my father, silent. Then I looked at Niles. Then I looked over my shoulder at Mom and Steve. Finally, I looked at Max.
What I had taken in consisted of both Dad and Niles wearing corduroys and nice sweaters. Both fair. Both slim. Both good-looking in a polished way. Both looking like money, breeding, class but not a lot of warmth. In fact, they both looked weirdly detached even though they were participating in this debacle.
I also saw Steve’s attractive silver hair and I knew it had been dark before it’d changed its color. He was dressed much like Max without the thermal. No airs. No graces. All man. He had his arm around Mom’s waist and her back was held close to his front. He was bigger and taller than Mom and looked like he could take on a bear and would if that bear threatened his Nellie.
And I’d seen Mom wearing lovely tweed trousers, a fitted, black turtleneck, a tailored, trendy, black leather jacket over the sweater and a neat, stylish black purse on her shoulder. Earrings, a pretty, unusual necklace glinting against her sweater, her hair pulled back softly in a ponytail, her makeup flawless. She stood in Steve’s arm, dressed fancy, dressed somewhat like me, dressed like she liked to dress, standing there like she’d been built to stand held close to Steve.
And I felt Max’s big, warm hand wrapped around mine, engulfing it, steady, strong, safe. He’d stood by my side through this fiasco and never let me go.
I stared at Niles and Dad across the table and I got it then, it penetrated.
Niles actually didn’t care about me. Once he had me, he thought he had me and that was it. The world revolved around him, his wants, his preferences, his habits and all around him fit into that world. He didn’t have to work at it, as partners always had to work at it. He didn’t care enough to work at it. It was up to me to care, to fit, to revolve around him, his wants, his preferences, his habits. He didn’t listen to me because what I said didn’t matter, it didn’t fit into his world and thus it didn’t mean a single thing to him.
Even now, standing across from me, having lost me, he didn’t try to win me. He was trying to buy off Max.
“You got nothin’?” Max prompted Niles and my attention went from what was now screamingly obvious back to him.
“If you think you can goad me into getting physical then think again,” Niles snapped back, his face had changed again to another look I’d never seen on him. Contemptuous, even scornful, and that hideous look shook me from my scalp straight to my boots.
“I just told you I fucked what you consider your woman, fucked her five times, and you got nothin’?” Max asked, disbelieving.
“This is hardly gentlemanly behavior.” My father entered the discussion.
Max straightened and turned to Dad. “Not one fuckin’ thing gentlemanly about protecting what’s yours. Looks like you’re gonna lose it, you do everything you can to stop that from happening.” Max looked back to Niles. “And you didn’t do that. She was a week away from me, she walked into a room I was in holdin’ another man’s hand, I’d lose my fuckin’ mind. Not at her. Wonderin’ where I lost my way and I’d talk to her about how to find my way back.” I heard my mother make a noise from behind us but I was too busy staring at Max’s profile, letting his words sink in and noting, as they were doing that, how good they felt. When Niles didn’t respond, Max finished, “Christ, you stand there, starin’ down your nose at me and you don’t even get it’s you who doesn’t deserve her.”
Moments passed and I continued to stare at Max’s profile, his words rocking me in a good way but also wondering how rude it would be if I made out with him in front of Niles.
“Nina,” Niles called and I started, my eyes, with effort, leaving Max and going to him. “Perhaps we can speak alone,” he suggested tardily.
“Too late, asshole,” Max muttered, turned from the table and dragged me out of the restaurant.
This was because things had gotten ugly and therefore, as Max promised, we were out of there.
We exited the restaurant, Mom and Steve on our heels, and I was still trying to come to terms with all that was said and all I’d discovered inside. Max, however, had already come to terms with it and the terms he’d come to was him being annoyed at me.
“Said it yesterday, babe, you didn’t listen,” he muttered, dragging me down the wooden plank sidewalk with Mom and Steve following.
“Sorry?” I asked, walking swiftly to keep up.
“Said you ain’t goin’ to that showdown, them fuckin’ with your head. Did you listen? Nope. Said you wanted to go. Jesus,” Max explained tersely and I tugged on his hand to stop him which he did, right outside The Mark.