“What do you mean you can’t find it?”
“I mean… it’s not here!”
He pointed to his erection which was still very worth looking at. But he was right: no condom.
“It must have come off when you pulled out,” I said, not feeling too worried yet.
“I think… I think it must be still inside you!” he said, shock and horror mingling on his face.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, what?
“Just… just close your eyes, Sebastian,” I ordered.
“What? Why?”
“Just do it!”
I wasn’t going to go ferreting around up there with him watching. But search as I might, I couldn’t find anything that felt rubbery.
My cheeks must have been a brilliant, flaming red.
“I think I’m going to need the ladies room,” I muttered quietly.
“Do you want me to…?” he offered.
“No!” I said quickly.
But I couldn’t help a small laugh escaping.
“What?” he said, half-relieved, half-puzzled.
“We never seem to get a break, do we?” I sighed.
He pulled a face, twisting his mouth into the semblance of a smile. “Other than meeting you in the first place: not really, no.”
He finished buttoning up his jeans and gallantly passed me my panties.
“Thanks,” I said, a wry expression on my face.
“At your service,” he said, trying to stifle a smile.
At this point I decided I was going to have to start taking the contraceptive pill: I couldn’t afford anymore fuck-ups, so to speak.
Sebastian drove a couple of miles down the road and we found a mall that had a restroom.
“Are you sure you don’t want any help with the… um… situation?” he said, a salacious gleam in his eye.
“No, thank you,” I said primly.
He laughed and I stalked off to the restrooms.
It was some minutes before I was able to locate the missing condom. Who would have thought it could disappear so far… er… up. At this rate I was going to have dreams about my ovaries being tied in knots by miscreant latex.
When I finally emerged, Sebastian was wearing an expression of dismay. His face cleared instantly when he saw me.
“Everything okay?”
“It’s all in hand,” I smirked at him.
He squeezed my fingers and whispered, “Next time, I want to play hunt the rubber.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Can we please go and get that coffee now?”
He draped his arm around my shoulders, possessively. “Sure, baby.”
God, he made me feel like a teenager. Except that I wasn’t. I banished the thought and we headed off to Little Italy.
Papa Benzino kissed me warmly on both cheeks and swept Sebastian into a huge bear-hug, which he returned a little shyly. Mama B came running out from behind the counter, dabbing at her eyes with an apron as if we were her long, lost family. They chattered away in Italian and I could tell that Sebastian was picking up more of the conversation than before. Perhaps I was doing him some good after all.
The nonna issued forth from her room over the shop and held my cheeks while she kissed me and told me I was glowing with love. Then she slapped Sebastian on the chest, felt his biceps and winked at me, repeating something that translated as, ‘a fine lover is like a good salami’ and threw me a knowing look.
Sebastian blushed, whether from her words or her touching, I couldn’t say, but it made me laugh out loud and he gave a grin that was embarrassed and amused at the same time.
A crowd of people on their lunch break came in to order food, sending the family scampering back to work, so we sat outside under a sun umbrella and sipped our coffees: espresso for me, regular for Sebastian.
“You didn’t tell me how your first day at work went?”
“Oh, that,” he said frowning.
“Was it bad?” I said, surprised.
“It… well, it wasn’t really what I was expecting,” he muttered, and for some reason he looked embarrassed again.
I rubbed the tip of my finger over his hand. “Tell me.”
“No, it’s just dumb.”