The Education of Sebastian

He kissed me quickly and leapt off the bed. He had so much energy. I was exhausted already and I sensed it was going to be a long and wonderful night.

I heard the sounds of the faucet running as if from a great distance while I felt myself drifting asleep. But then a strange, unfamiliar sound reached my ears and suddenly, unexpectedly, I was wide awake: Sebastian was singing to himself. I strained to hear the words. When I did, my heart broke open, filling with the love that poured from those faint, heartfelt words. Peace and joy and a sense of wholeness that I’d never known utterly overwhelmed me and I began to cry softly.

When I hear her voice, the world disappears

When I hear her voice, I have no more fears.

I had never believed it was possible to cry from happiness.

Quietly, I slipped off the bed and moved silently to the bathroom door, standing half hidden, watching him. He was leaning over the tub, testing the water with his fingers, the steam weaving through the air like ghosts.

He’d switched on the light above the shaving mirror and the yellow glow bathed his skin with gold. I watched the ripple and play of his muscles as he continued to reach into the bath, drawing pictures with his fingers in the hot water.

She takes away the sadness, she takes away the pain

She takes away the darkness, she takes away the rain.

He stretched up to pull down two white towels, placing them carefully at the side of the bath.

When I’m traveling from so far away

She’s my path, she’s my sun, she lights my way.

Then he turned and saw me standing in the shadows.

“Caro! Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you.”





Chapter 18


He stared at me, then one, long second later he strode towards me and took my face in his hands, kissing the tears as they trickled down my cheeks.

And there we were, two fools in love.

“I waited and waited and waited,” he stammered. “You never said it… you never told me… and now you have. I love you I love you I love you. Oh, Caro, so much.”

A sob escaped his throat and I felt ashamed of having held back for so long, not realizing how much he’d needed to hear me say the words.

I wrapped my arms around his waist as he took long, shuddering breaths. My own tears soon dried, overwhelmed as I was by my own happiness and my need to protect and comfort this beautiful man-child who had known so little love in his life.

Skin to skin, my head to his shoulder, we stood, drinking each other in. Finally his breathing slowed and he kissed the base of my neck. A smile lifted my lips and I opened my eyes.

“Sebastian, the water!”

The bath was nearly full and in danger of overflowing – like me.

“Oh, crap!”

He leaned down to turn off the stream of water and pulled out the plug to let some escape. He continued to stare into the water and I sensed he was using the time to compose himself.

When he looked up again, his focus was slightly to the left of my shoulder. He couldn’t meet my eyes and the expression on his face was sheepish.

“Sorry for spazzing out on you.”

I laid my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me.

“No, Sebastian! Don’t ever be embarrassed about how you feel – not with me. Not ever. I love that you’re so open with me; I love that you show me how you feel every moment of the day and night; it drives me crazy when you do it in front of other people but I love it, too, because it’s part of who you are. I’ve never known anything like it and I don’t want it to stop. Because I feel the same.”

He gasped slightly then beamed at me.

“Okay,” he said softly.

I smiled back and all the tension drained from the room leaving us calm and replete.

“Shall we have a bath now?”

He nodded, then his forehead creased as he glanced at my right foot that was still swathed in thick gauze.

“Can you? You don’t want to get that wet,” he said, and his expression darkened to something quite intimidating.

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