He was silent for a moment but I could tell he still had more questions. Eventually he cleared his throat and tried to sound casual.
“When did you and… him first… um…?”
“First have sex?”
“Well, yeah.”
He had a right to know: he’d told me all about Brenda.
“It was a week before my eighteenth birthday. There’d been some big event on up at the Base – my first big formal. I’d loved all the dressing up – it seemed so glamorous to me.” I took a deep breath. “We did it on the passenger seat of his car. It was… unpleasant. It hurt.”
“Have you…?” He bit his lip, unable to finish the question.
“Have I what?”
“I know I have no right to ask, Caro, but since… since me and you… have you… slept… with him?”
I could tell this was a question he’d wanted to ask me for a while.
“No, tesoro. I haven’t let him touch me since our first night together.”
I didn’t think he needed to hear that I’d jerked David off instead.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, tesoro. It’s only since I’ve met you that I’ve known what it’s like to make love; really make love.”
And I kissed him, desperately, passionately, to show him that I meant every word. He held me to him, our mouths locked together, breathing each other in.
“Don’t go back to him tonight, Caro, please.”
“I have to, Sebastian. After I drop you off at the club, I’m going to check out those rooms. I’m sure one of them will do. I’ll put down a deposit and move my stuff in tomorrow. Then, when I’ve got somewhere to go, I’ll tell him that I want a divorce: tomorrow evening. I’ll be able to go straight away.”
“I don’t like leaving you with that asshole! You don’t know what he’ll do! He could hurt you again!”
Sebastian’s body filled with tension and his hands were balled into fists at his sides.
“He won’t hurt me. Yesterday evening was an accident. Yes, he’s a bastard, but he’s not like that.”
It was clear that he didn’t believe me. Perhaps he needed David to be as big a bastard as his father.
“I can come over tomorrow morning and help you pack,” he offered, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.
“There won’t be much: just my clothes and a few bits and pieces.”
“I want to help.”
“It’s probably best if I do it myself after he’s gone to work tomorrow. I’ll meet you after I’ve moved into the new place.”
He scowled, unhappy with my plan.
“Sebastian, I have to do this by myself. It’s my mess: I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“If he lays one finger on you, I’ll fucking crucify him!”
“He won’t. I promise. I’ll be fine.” I glanced at my watch. “Look, we should go now. You have to be at work in half an hour.”
“I mean it, Caro, I’ll rip his fucking arms off!”
I didn’t think there was any point replying so I picked up my empty bottle and Sebastian’s can and shoved them in my purse, and waited for him to get off the picnic blanket so I could fold it.
He stood up and pulled his T-shirt on but his expression was still angry.
“Hey, come here!”
I dropped my bag on the floor and wrapped my arms around him, willing his tension and anger away.
“We’ve just got one more day to get through and then I’ll be free of him. One more day, tesoro. Just one more day. We can do it.”
After that we walked back to the car in silence but I could tell his mind was still mulling over everything I’d told him. I hoped it would be busy at the club to help distract him.
As I drove to the club, my right foot started to feel very sore. I glanced down and noticed that the dressing was wet. Damn. The blister must have burst. I really needed to re-do it before I started traipsing around the city or it would be a lot worse. I decided to ask at the club’s reception to see if they’d let me use their First Aid Kit, once I’d dropped Sebastian at the parking lot. I really didn’t want to give him another reason to imagine doing violence to David.