The Deal

It only takes thirty minutes in Cindy’s company for me to reach that conclusion. To pick up on the signs. I see it in the way she flinches whenever he touches her. Just slightly, and probably unnoticeable to anyone else, but it’s the same way my mother would respond each time he came near her. It was almost like she was anticipating the next strike of his fist, or his palm, or his fucking foot.

But that’s not the only warning sign Cindy is broadcasting. The long-sleeved lacy thing over her red dress is a dead giveaway—I’ve fucked enough sorority girls to know that you don’t match white heels with a black jacket. And then there’s the spark of fear that flicks through her eyes whenever my father so much as twitches in his chair. The sad droop of her shoulders when he tells her that the gravy is too watery. The slew of compliments she gives him because she’s obviously trying to keep him happy. No, to keep him calm.

We’re halfway through dinner, my tie is choking the life out of me, and I’m not certain I can control my rage anymore. I don’t think I can make it to dessert without attacking the old man and demanding to know how he can possibly do this to another woman.

Cindy and Hannah are chatting about something. I have no clue what it is. My fingers grip my fork so tight I’m surprised it doesn’t snap in half.

He tried to talk to me about hockey earlier when Hannah and Cindy were in the kitchen. I tried talking back. I’m sure I even managed to form proper sentences, with subjects and predicates and all that shit. But from the second Hannah and I walked into this godforsaken house, my mind has been somewhere else. Every room holds a memory that brings bile to my throat.

The kitchen is where he broke my nose for the first time.

Upstairs is where I got the brunt of it, usually in my bedroom, where I don’t dare venture tonight because I’m scared the walls might close in on me.

The living room is where he slammed me against the wall after my eighth-grade league didn’t make it to the playoffs. I noticed he hung a painting over the hole in the drywall, though.

“So yeah,” Hannah is saying. “Now I’m singing a solo, which is what I should’ve done in the first place.”

Cindy makes a sympathetic noise with her tongue. “This boy sounds like a selfish ass.”

“Cynthia,” my father says sharply. “Language.”

There it is again—that flinch. The weak “I’m sorry” should come next, but to my surprise, she doesn’t apologize.

“You don’t agree, Phil? Imagine you were still playing for the Rangers and your goalie left you in the lurch right before the first game in the Stanley Cup series.”

My father’s jaw stiffens. “The two situations aren’t comparable.”

She quickly backpedals. “No, I guess they’re not.”

I shovel a forkful of mashed potatoes and stuffing into my mouth.

My father’s cool gaze travels to Hannah. “How long have you been seeing my son?”

From the corner of my eye, I see her shift in discomfort. “A month.”

He nods, almost like he’s pleased to hear it. When he speaks again, I realize precisely what he’s pleased about. “It’s not serious, then.”

Hannah frowns.

I do, too, because I know what he’s thinking. No, what he’s hoping. That this thing with Hannah is just a fling. That it’ll fizzle out sooner rather than later and then I can go back to focusing exclusively on hockey.

But he’s wrong. Hell, I was wrong, too. I thought having a girlfriend would distract me from my goals and split my focus, but it hasn’t. I love being with Hannah, but I haven’t lost sight of hockey, either. I’m still bringing it in practice, still smoking my opponents on the ice. This last month has shown me that I can have Hannah and hockey in my life, and give both of them the attention they deserve.

“Did Garrett tell you he’s planning on entering the draft after graduation?” my father asks.

Hannah nods in response.

“Once he gets drafted his schedule will become even more hectic. I imagine yours will, too.” My father purses his lips. “Where do you see yourself after graduation? Broadway? Recording an album?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” she replies, reaching for her water glass.

I notice that her plate is empty. She’s finished all her food, but hasn’t asked for seconds. Neither have I, though I can’t deny that Cindy’s cooking is fucking fantastic. I haven’t eaten a turkey that juicy in years.

“Well, the music industry is a tough one to break into. Requires a lot of hard work and perseverance.” My father pauses. “And an incredible amount of focus.”

“I’m well aware of that.” Hannah’s lips form a tight line, as if she has a million more things to say but is forcing herself not to.

“Professional sports is the same way,” my dad says pointedly. “Requires that same level of focus. Distractions can be costly.” His head tips toward me. “Isn’t that right, son?”

I reach for Hannah’s hand and cover her knuckles with my palm. “Some distractions are worth it.”

His nostrils flare.

“Looks like everyone has finished eating,” Cindy blurts out. “How about some dessert?”