Chapter Twenty-Four
At the ranch, Whitney couldn’t find Josh anywhere in the barn or the main house, so she decided to wait for him in his loft. She sent him a text saying she was there but not to hurry. The afternoon crept by slowly, and as the dinner hour approached, she began to look through his cabinets and fridge. She didn’t have a repertoire of menus off the top of her head and was too nervous to spend time searching online. When he texted that he was on his way, she sautéed some vegetables and prepared a couple of omelets, keeping them covered over a low temperature.
She heard a sound and turned to find him in the doorway, tall and broad-shouldered, and her heartbeat picked up automatically.
Josh.
She felt tears sting her eyes and wondered what that could be about, then gave him a smile that was far too tentative.
He smiled back. “Hi.”
“Hi. Hope you don’t mind that I barged in like this.”
He sniffed the air. “Not at all. Smells good.”
It was a bad sign that she was desperate for a touch, desperate to be reassured by his embrace.
“Let me go take a quick shower so I don’t gross you out,” was all he said.
“You do smell like manure.”
He grinned. “Gee, thanks.”
She practically paced while he was gone, wishing he would have asked her to join him in the shower, wishing she would have suggested it herself. No, they had important things to discuss before sex took everything over.
When he came out of the bathroom, he was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, as if she hadn’t seen him with less. As if they were strangers.
Oh, God, her family had ruined everything.
She should feed him first, but instead blurted out, “My mother informed me that my brother told you everything, then—and then tried to bribe you.”
Josh’s smile faded a bit, and he sighed. “Yeah, it made me pretty mad.”
Whitney winced. “I know I should have told you what they offered me—”
“That’s not what made me mad,” he interrupted.
“You’re not angry I didn’t tell you? You’re way too understanding.”
His smile was sad. “I understand what you’ve been going through.”
“Look, I don’t need your pity.”
“Pity? Why would I feel that?”
She spent a moment pouring coffee into mugs, making his just the way he liked it. And even the fact that she knew his coffee preferences bothered her. She handed it over without meeting his gaze, then looked out the window across the endless, windblown pastures, empty until winter. “Don’t you see? They didn’t even make much of an attempt to talk me into helping them. I’m starting to think they came here just to get rid of you, as if without a man I would just crumble and fall into their desperate plot.”
“Then they don’t know you very well.”
“No, they don’t,” she said, suddenly fierce. “Except—except—it’s about the family, isn’t it? The family business.”
“I can’t believe it won’t survive your brother’s scandal. He’s not the head of the company.”
“No, but he was going to be. And I don’t know how shaky the board is. And me? I’ve spent my life dreaming of being there, with my family, and now they’ve finally offered, and it’s only out of desperation. And that sucks. How am I supposed to know what’s best for me when it’s all about them?”
Josh sipped his coffee and said nothing. She almost wished he had some magical answer.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he finally asked.
She sighed. “Can you ignore Chasz’s stupidity? Even my parents, or whoever was involved. I know they offended you, and I can’t say they didn’t mean it, because frankly, they might not care.”
He gave a grim smile. “I got that.” Then he focused his serious hazel eyes on her. “But I don’t care about them, only you.”
“Do you, Josh?” she asked, searching his gaze. “Because I’m worried you’ve been using my family problems as an excuse to remove yourself from my life. You’ve been… distant these last few days, and I can’t help wondering if I’m worth all this trouble to you. Am I that easy to give up?”
“Easy to give up?” he said, striding purposefully until he was right in front of her. “This has been the hardest couple days of my life, knowing they wanted you back and were offering the one thing you’d wanted your whole life. How could I compete with that? And the fact that you didn’t tell me of their offer seemed to confirm that our relationship was just temporary.”
“That’s not why I didn’t say anything!” she countered. “I thought I needed to make a decision first.”
“You can’t have been worried you’d hurt me,” he said. “I’m not a little boy but a man who needs to know what he’s up against.”
“Up against?” she cried. “This isn’t a competition—it’s my life!”
“It’s my life, too, and my decisions are just as important. I love you, Whitney, but I’m not going to be the one who held you back from your destiny, or whatever you think it is.”
She blinked at him, aghast, “You love me? And this is how you tell me, as if it’s unimportant, just a side topic?”
“I don’t know that it is important to you,” he said softly. “You might want things in life that I can’t give.”
“I don’t know what I want,” she said hoarsely, and found herself wiping away tears.
Josh took a step closer, whispering, “Whitney.”
She held up a hand. “No, that’s okay, I don’t need your comfort. At least I know where you stand. You love me, but I’m not worth fighting for.”
His eyes widened, then narrowed. “That’s not fair. I’m trying to do what I think is right.”
“And I have to do the same. I—I have to think. Go ahead and eat the omelet before it gets cold. I’ll call you later.”
She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“Whitney—”
But she didn’t stop, only ran down the steps and out into the sunshine. Surely it should have been raining, to match her mood. Josh loved her—why didn’t she feel like celebrating?
Josh told himself he was being practical as he took a seat at his dining table with a plate of eggs in front of him. But he couldn’t eat, and only sat there, hands gripping the edge of the table. Thoughts chased themselves around inside his head, and some of them were less than flattering.
He’d made a mess of everything—especially the ridiculous way he’d told her he loved her. Nope, no hearts and romance for him, just “I love you, but go ahead and leave me.” He slapped himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.
So many things could get worse now.
Would she settle for him and Valentine, since her family didn’t want her free and clear in Winslow Enterprises?
Or would she return to Manhattan with them and take up the reins of power she’d always wanted, regardless of the circumstances?
He couldn’t imagine any decision she might make that would leave her happy and free of doubts. He cared about what she wanted, and didn’t want anything except her love. But she had to be the one to decide that, just like Nate said.
But it seemed Whitney didn’t agree with that philosophy. If he wooed her, tried to persuade her to love him, she might resent him someday for forcing her hand. Backing off was one of the hardest decisions he’d ever had to make, and she’d acted like it was a crime.
And seeing her distraught face, realizing her fears that she wasn’t worth fighting for, had made him want to beg for her love, beg her to stay.
But if he did that, she might give up her own dreams. And if he followed her, he’d be giving up on his own. There seemed to be no easy answer for the two of them.
Whitney was trying to read a magazine in bed that night when her phone rang. She saw Josh’s ID and felt something inside of her ease.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hey, Whitney.”
She closed her eyes on hearing his voice, and thought again, He loves me.
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Sorry, yes, I am. It’s good to hear from you.”
“I didn’t know whether I should call, like I was pressuring you or anything, when I’m not. I don’t need answers from you, Whitney, not until you’re ready to give them. Or we could talk, you know, about the future. I just wanted you to know that I do love you, and what you choose to do won’t change that. And I never meant for you to feel that I was backing away because you weren’t important to me. If anything, you’ve become more important than anyone else in my life.”
“Oh, Josh,” she whispered, knowing how much he loved his family, and that putting her ahead of them really meant something.
Then she heard a knock on the door.
“Whitney?” It was her brother’s voice.
“Chasz is here,” she told Josh after clearing her throat. “I should let him stand in the hall, but he’d keep knocking and disturb the other guests.”
“Go ahead. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep tight.”
And then he was gone, and she found herself staring with aching eyes at the phone as she set it down.
Chasz knocked again, and she pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. When she opened the door, she saw that his clothes were disheveled, his hair mussed, his eyes haggard.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
She stood in his way, and said coldly, “You said everything you had to say to Josh.”
He winced. “I know Mom told you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what I said, what I did. Please, can we talk?”
For the first time, she didn’t see confidence and superiority in his expression, but the sad, weary look of a lost man. He was her brother, so she let him in. He slumped into a chair, and she sat on the bed.
They said nothing for endless minutes, until at last she spoke with exasperation. “Well, Chasz?”
“I talked to Courtney.” He cleared his throat, and, still without looking at her, continued. “I’ve lost her.”
“You didn’t already realize that?”
He shrugged. “I guess… I guess I thought she’d forgive me. But this is too much humiliation, she said, too much proof that I can’t possibly love her. But I do love her, Whitney,” he said, meeting her eyes imploringly.
“But actions matter, and yours haven’t shown that.”
“I know. I acted so impulsively, like I could do anything I wanted. Mr. Invincible,” he said bitterly. “I’ve lost her, I’ve ruined my life. And respect? I never thought that mattered, but now I’ve lost it all, even my own self-respect. And today—today I sank to a new low. When I left Josh, it was as if I was suddenly hit by everything I’ve done. I felt… dirty. Did he tell you I threatened him with rumors of a sex tape?”
She jumped to her feet, no longer able to keep her distance as she stood above him, vibrating with fury. “You did what?”
“I didn’t think Mom would tell you that. I’ve done a lot these past weeks, feeling desperate, including trying to force you to do what I wanted. But threaten a guy with a sex-tape rumor? I disgusted even myself. The look in his eyes—” He broke off, his expression twisted with anguish. “For the first time it really hit home how much respect and reputation matter. And I’ve lost all of that.”
Whitney forced herself to back away. “I know that those things matter. If you’re really serious about changing, you can earn them again. It might take years, but you can make up for the past, perhaps be back at Winslow Enterprises. But I won’t be there.” The words were a surprise and a relief all at once. “My reputation matters, too, and I spent a lot of time and energy building up Leather and Lace, planning out my future, and watching it happen. And I did it on my own. It’s just too important for me to give up.”
Chasz studied her face a long moment, his expression bleak. “I told Mom and Dad you weren’t going to do it, but they didn’t believe me.”
“I’m sure they thought I’d be thrilled by their offer.” She eyed him. “You’re not going to try to convince me?”
“No. I can see there’s no point. And I don’t blame you. You started fresh and succeeded.”
“There’s nothing saying you can’t do that either.”
He shrugged. “Guess I have to take one day at a time.”
She saw him to the door, then leaned back against it in thought. Her business success had become more than proving to her family that she could succeed—she’d proven it to herself. And now she had to stop living her life in reaction to her family. If they couldn’t understand that, well, it wasn’t as if they’d been in her life all that much anyway.
But after seeing Josh and his family, she wanted that for herself. But not if it meant giving up on all she’d worked for.
Whitney hadn’t even showered the next morning when there was an insistent knocking at her door. She left her computer, and with a sigh, opened the door to reveal her parents. Big surprise.
“Good morning, darling,” Vanessa said, giving a tentative smile.
Her father just walked in, glancing around the old-fashioned room before turning to face her, hands on his hips. “Chasz told us your decision.”
“I figured he would.” Whitney shut the door. “Would you like to have breakfast with me in the dining room? Debbie allows extra guests.”
“We already ate,” Charles said. “Are you avoiding the subject?”
“No, just trying to be polite.” She sighed and faced him. “Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you out. Besides being a member of the family and showing some continuity, what could I have done to help? Other employees are surely more knowledgeable.”
“We’ve always had family in the business,” he said sternly.
“I know. And when things die down, maybe Chasz will be able to step forward again. Your PR people can surely soften this someday. And people forget.”
To Whitney’s surprise, her mom was watching her with a twinkle in her eye, almost as if she… approved. That was revolutionary.
“I’m very disappointed, Whitney,” he said.
She took his hand. “I know you are, Dad, but it’s Chasz you should be most disappointed with. Don’t let his mistakes affect our relationship.”
Her dad let go of her hand and turned toward the window, as if he needed to marshal himself. Whitney knew how important the company was to him, but she truly hoped he would realize that family should mean more.
“So what will you do now?” Vanessa asked with obvious curiosity.
“Open my third store,” Whitney said. “Then keep growing.”
“What about Josh?”
Whitney hesitated, and even her father glanced over his shoulder to study her. “I… don’t know. He told me he loves me.” She blurted that last part out, surprised at herself.
Vanessa smiled. “I’d always hoped you’d find a good man.”
Whitney blinked at her in surprise. Maybe her mother was eager to move on, to have a better relationship.
Vanessa continued, “Of course, he’s not used to… our lifestyle.”
“You mean he’s not rich?” Whitney countered wryly.
“You must admit, you two were raised very differently. Sometimes that can be a problem.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think Josh cares all that much about money. He cares about people and family and being happy.”
Charles faced her, frowning. “So caring about money means you can’t care about family?”
“I didn’t mean to imply that, Dad. It’s just… I’ve never known anyone like him, so confident in himself but in a relaxed sort of way. His entire family works together in everything from crazy weather to life-or-death situations. It makes a person different, I guess.”
“Sounds like you love him, too,” Vanessa said quietly.
“I think I do.” Her voice wobbled, and her eyes misted. “And I need to figure out a way to make it work.”
“Maybe you should figure it out with Josh.”
Whitney and her mom shared a smile. “I think you’re right.” Then she turned to her dad. “But you’re my family, and you’re important, too. I know you’ll make everything work out with the Chasz situation, Dad. You always do.”
“It’ll just be harder without you,” he said gruffly.
“I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Whitney had to work all day at Leather and Lace, getting her new employees together for the first time. She and Josh texted, and when she said she’d like to see him, he said she could find him at Tony’s Tavern that night, for the Robbers’ Roost poker game.
Poker? At a time like this?
But she had to remember that Josh didn’t stress over things like she did. He’d said his piece—that he loved her!—and was waiting for her to make the next move. So, she was a little perturbed he wasn’t holed up in his workshop in melancholy seclusion… and she wasn’t about to ask him to cancel his game with his friends. But he might have offered…
All right, she was being ridiculous now.
When she arrived at Tony’s after eight, she found the whole gang gathered—all the girls, all the guys, looking absolutely innocent while avoiding her gaze, playing pool or cards, or scanning the songs on the jukebox.
Josh immediately stood up and came over to her, and in that moment, she only saw him. He paused, as if judging her mood, but she hugged his waist, and when she felt his arms fold about her, a peace came over her that she’d never felt before.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
He kissed the top of her head, then cupped her face to kiss her mouth.
“Get a room!” someone yelled.
Josh straightened, grinning, and she looked at him wonderingly. He was such a contented, happy guy, with the same stresses and problems other people had, but his ability to deal with it all just amazed her.
“Josh, I wanted to let you know that my brother came by and told me what he’d said to you—told me everything,” she added sternly, “even the stuff you didn’t tell me.”
Josh shrugged. “It didn’t matter. I knew he was bluffing.”
“It was ugly, and he realized it. He was falling apart when he came to me, upset with his behavior and what he’d done to his life. I just wanted you to know how he felt.”
He took both her hands in his. “I already know. He called me to apologize.”
“He did?” She felt a piece of her heart lighten. “I’m glad. He’s not all bad. Things have changed him, but… I hope he can become better.”
“I hope so, too.”
She glanced at the poker game and considered trying to find a private place to talk, but where in Valentine would that be? People find out everything.
“Josh, I told my parents I wasn’t accepting the company job.”
He searched her face as his own grew more serious. “I would say ‘Are you sure?’ but I know you thought everything through.”
“I did, for many days now. I’m sorry if I’ve been distracted, but… I didn’t want to be their fallback, you know? I’ve spent these last six years making my own decisions, growing my own company—and I like it. It’s not full of worldwide prestige, but it’s mine. And I don’t have to prove myself anymore, prove I’m not just a party girl or an heiress or even the CEO of my own little company. I’m happy with me, and I know what I want now.”
He squeezed her hands a little tighter. “And what’s that?”
“I want you,” she whispered, stepping closer to him, not caring who was watching. “I love you, too.”
“Whitney,” he breathed, then leaned down to kiss her, drawing her into his arms until her toes barely skimmed the floor.
Somewhere in the background were whistles and catcalls, but it seemed so very far away.
He straightened and cocked his head as he looked down at her. “I’ve got to warn you in advance. I’m probably going to embarrass you.”
“Embarrass me?” How could he think she cared what he did for a living, as long as he was happy?
“I’ve kind of agreed to help out the Preservation Fund committee, to do that calendar with the guys.”
She almost snorted her laugh.
Then Will Sweet, who’d obviously been eavesdropping, stood up and began to do a striptease, sliding his shirt up his chest. Monica and Emily were laughing at him, but Brooke was looking at Josh and Whitney, tears shining in her eyes, her smile trembling. On seeing his sister, Josh paused and seemed to duck his head, then he simply pushed Will back into his seat.
Josh took Whitney’s arm and pulled her closer to the wall. “Look, I don’t want you to ever think you have to give up anything for me. If we end up together, I’ll live half the year wherever you need to be.”
“If we end up together?” she echoed, feeling her own eyes begin to fill. “I love you, Josh, and I don’t take that lightly. We’re together.”
His grin widened. “Good. That’s good. I’ve already talked to Matt Sweet about doing the leather stitching for me, so that’ll free up even more time. I’ll make any kind of compromise I can. I want this to work, Whitney. I need you.”
His voice dropped into a husky tone that made her shiver.
“Josh, you don’t have to live half the year away from here. Valentine Valley—hell, the Silver Creek Ranch—is who you are. And the fact that you’d spend so much time away really moves me to tears. But I can base my company here. I’ll have to travel at least once or twice a month, but lots of people travel and make it work. And besides, I’ve been working way too hard and micromanaging my employees. I need to concentrate on the bigger picture.”
“You’d stay here?” Josh said, as if he were amazed.
“I would. For you, I’d go anywhere, do anything. I want to start a new life, Josh. And I want to share it all with you.”
To her shock, he dropped to one knee and solemnly asked, “Then would you marry me, Whitney?”
She gaped down at him as the room hushed.
“I don’t want to wait,” he continued. “I want to be a family, to have kids—and I want you all to myself.”
“Until you have kids,” Monica added wryly.
No one else said a word, waiting, and Whitney felt tears of happiness begin to leak down her cheeks. “Yes, oh yes, I’ll marry you, Josh.”
He grinned. “Good, because I came prepared.”
Without standing, he fumbled in his jeans’ pocket and pulled out a tiny circle made of the most delicate leather.
“It’s not a traditional ring,” he said sheepishly, “but I’ve been making it just for you.”
She gasped and let him put it on her finger, staring in amazement at the delicate etched roses along a vine. “Josh, this is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever owned.”
She threw her arms around his neck, almost knocking him sideways, but he stood up and twirled her around to lots of cheering. And then their friends descended on them—no longer just his friends and family, but hers, too. She’d found her home.