“Are you?”
The gates to her inner fortress lifted as she felt the siege begin. She crossed her arms over her chest, ready to do battle. “Mom, I didn’t say a word when you left Dad, but have you handled things with him?”
“Since I know you only become mean and vindictive when you’re upset, I’ll ignore that.” She put her hands on her hips. “If you must know, I pretty much did exactly what Blake did with you. I asked your father to talk to me. When that didn’t work, I suggested marital counseling. After receiving the cold shoulder for three months, I told him I was leaving if he wasn’t willing to work on our marriage.”
Her hand gripped the doorway as she reeled in shock. It was the most detail she’d heard about her parents’ split. “Mom, I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “When he went to the hospital and stayed there for three days, only coming home to change clothes, I made good on my promise. I hate saying this Natalie, but I love you too much not to speak up. You’re more like your father than you want to admit. When you’re hurting, you go off in your separate corner and become…unreachable. And you have no idea how hurtful that can be.”
Her harsh intake of breath came from the part of her heart that had been wounded by her mother’s words. “I’m sorry you think that, Mom,” she made herself say. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed.”
This time when her mom wrapped her arms around her, she couldn’t make herself return the embrace. Her arms hung by her sides like they didn’t know what to do.
She was like her father? It couldn’t be true!
“I’m not disappointed in you, and you don’t have to apologize to me, honey. But you’re not happy. You’ve put on a brave face for the past couple of years, but you’re not over Kim’s death, and the way you left things with Blake…well, it needs resolution. For both of you. I’m glad he’s here, even if losing Adam—God rest that poor boy’s soul—was part of the reason. Besides, he’s given up a lot to come to Dare Valley.”
Everyone was on Blake’s side and not hers. It wasn’t fair! She stared unblinking over her mom’s shoulder. Usually Dare Valley’s natural beauty delighted her, but all she wanted to do was pack her things and move back to Denver. Today. The urge to run was like a desperate hand pushing on her back.
“I know what I’m saying is hard for you, but honey, I only want you to be happy.”
Why was everyone talking about being happy all of a sudden? Life wasn’t happy all the time. Good people got sick and died for no reason. Like Kim. Like Adam. None of it made any sense.
“Please say something, Natalie,” her mom whispered.
“I don’t know what to do,” she finally admitted. “I don’t know what to say to any of you right now. All I feel is wrong and confused and upset, and I hate that. I hate that you’re all making me feel that way.”
Her mom put her hand on her arm in that Mom Touch no one else in the world could duplicate. It was like liquid sunshine pouring into her veins. Her eyes burned as a pocket of jagged emotion rose up inside her, melting away the icicles in her wasteland. She wanted to shy away from it out of instinct, but she needed it. A few seconds of warmth wouldn’t kill her, would it?
“We’re not trying to make you feel like you’re in the wrong.”
“Why didn’t any of you talk to me about this before?” she asked, her voice rising.
Her mom gave a loud sigh. “We tried. Don’t you remember? But you told us to leave you alone. You didn’t talk to me for three days. Honey, we saw how you pushed Blake away. I was scared to lose you. We all were.”
She loved her family. This conflict was killing her. Without them, she didn’t know where she belonged in the world.
“Blake and I agreed to be friends,” she said as a point of consolation. “I…know he’s hurting from losing Adam.” And she wanted to be there for him even if it was like walking a tightrope without a net below.
“That’s a good start,” her mom told her with a smile. “He’ll need people around him to help him get through this. I called his parents when I heard about Adam. I wanted you to know that. And I want you to know I’m going to go say hi to him after Caro and Mo head back to Denver.”
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that,” she responded, and even she heard the coolness in her voice.
“Natalie, I love Blake and think he’s a great guy, but you’re still my daughter. I love you no matter what.”
But was that really true? After all, her mom had just told her she was a lot like her father, and no one in the family was too fond of him at the moment.
“Thanks, Mom,” she said, speaking over the part of her that was screaming: Thanks? Seriously? She just took you to the woodshed, you idiot.
“Make peace with your sisters. They only want what’s best for you.”