He couldn’t stop brooding over how badly he’d mishandled the situation. In retrospect he believed that he should have known she was still an innocent. There was a skittishness about her, an unawareness of herself as a desirable woman. Women who had been awakened were not careless about leaving a button undone. They noticed, and they knew the message it sent. Freddy didn’t. Experienced women could be as modest as a preacher’s wife, but they still had a gleam of knowledge in their eyes that Freddy lacked.
“Damn it.”
And he couldn’t have performed worse than he had after he made the discovery that she was a virgin. Reliving that moment, he would have given much to change it. He should have slowed things down, should have gotten control of himself, should have focused more intently on her reaction and response, but most of all, he should not have quit.
“Damn it.”
Now she thought she had experienced lovemaking, and it was nothing to her but disappointing. Now, she was hardly speaking to him. And it was all his fault.
Tense enough that his shoulders and thighs ached, he rode through the dust toward the drag. Ward Hamm was still trailing the herd where he could keep an eye on Les, which didn’t improve Dal’s mood. He sent a glare toward Hamm’s wagon, then turned in beside Les. Dark circles ringed her eyes and she looked ill with exhaustion, but she managed a smile.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, dropping his gaze to the rope contraption Hamm had made to hold her in the saddle. “Still need that?”
She touched the rope circling her waist. “Probably not, but it makes me feel more secure to keep it a little longer.” Les followed his gaze toward Freddy, riding ahead of them, kicking at one of the stragglers. “Freddy’s doing the work back here. It’s all I can do just to stay in the saddle all day.” She bit her lip and pulled her shoulders out of a slump. “Alex says it will take time, but I’ll get stronger every day.”
“When we reach Fort Worth, we’ll stop for a few days. Get a room in town and spend those days resting.” When he saw her glance toward Hamm’s wagon, he frowned. “That’s not a suggestion, Les. That’s an order. Do it.”
Not waiting for a reply, he urged his horse forward and rode up beside Freddy. She didn’t look at him. “We’re missing a red steer with a muddy-looking blaze.”
A flash of green eyes cut his way, then swung back toward the tail end of the herd. “If I’d seen a stray, I would have turned him back into the herd.”
“I’m not criticizing,” he said patiently. “Just asking if you’ve seen that steer.”
“The answer is no.”
There was a subtext here, and he didn’t like it. “There’s good grazing near Fort Worth.” Nothing in her stony profile suggested she would be receptive to what he had in mind. “Fort Worth has several big hotels, a couple of them as fine as you’ll find in the West.” He fixed a look on the stragglers. “You and I are going to stay overnight in one of them.”
“The hell we are!” Now she turned a full, narrowed stare on him, her expression battened down like a shutter against a storm. “Never, Frisco. No. It isn’t going to happen.”
“Yeah, it is going to happen, Frederick. I have a responsibility to repair the damage I’ve done, and I’m going to live up to it. You have a responsibility, too.” She started sputtering and making choking sounds like she was trying to talk but couldn’t. “You withheld vital information.” Now he looked at her. Crimson pulsed in her face, and her eyes were wide and incredulous. She was dusty and sweat-streaked and the most beautiful creature he’d ever clapped his eyes on. “By doing so, you cheated us both.”
“What?” The word emerged as a strangled shout.
“That’s right. I owe you better, and you owe me better.” She was throwing off sparks that he could almost see. “So make up your mind to it. We’re going to a hotel, and we’re going to do this thing right. Afterward, you can tell me to go to hell, if you want to. Then we’ll walk away, and it’s finished.” Turning his head, he fixed her with a stare. “But we are going to do it. If I have to drag you into that hotel kicking and screaming, I will, Freddy. I’m not going to go through life knowing I ruined a woman. That’s not going to happen. I’m going to fix this damage, and, by God, you’re going to like it!”
Having said his piece, he kicked his horse in the flanks and cantered up the side of the herd. His speech wasn’t the most romantic he’d ever made, but Freddy wasn’t like any woman he’d ever known. With her, every damned thing was a struggle or a fight. It pissed him off, and made him wonder what was wrong with him that out of all the women in the world, he had to let this one crawl under his skin.